Courage – Fear unmasked
Listen to the podcast version of this article In drawing this card, you are invited to explore the extent of your courage. More to the point, if you were to be the most courageous that you have ever been – how would your life change? What difference would being...
Choose to be original or copy
Listen to the podcast version of this article In drawing this card, you are invited to explore your originality. What is it that makes you – you? And different to anyone else – original. What distinguishes you from any other person you may know? What may...
Anxiety – The extent to which we stray from our essence
Listen to the podcast version of this article In drawing this card, you are invited to explore your anxieties. To face into, rather than turn away, from them. To explore how they may be able to guide you forward and what you may learn from this experience. The...
Positive Psychology and Artificial Intelligence : Ethical Implications and Potential Benefits
Introduction The convergence of positive psychology and artificial intelligence (AI) presents a compelling and potentially transformative field. AI’s capacity to process vast amounts of data, learn from patterns, and provide personalized recommendations offers...
Positive Psychology and Mental Illness
Introduction Positive Psychology has traditionally been aimed at moving those without mental illness from a state of languishing towards flourishing. In this blog I argue that it also has an important role in helping those struggling with mental ill health on their...
Embracing the Shades of Grey in a Polarized World
Embracing the Shades of Grey in a Polarized World In recent years, it feels as though the world has become increasingly divided. We see it in politics, in social issues, and even in our personal relationships. The lines between right and wrong, love and hate, for and...
Positive Psychology and Existentialism: A Reconciliation of Meaning and Acceptance
Introduction At first glance, positive psychology and existentialism might seem like an odd couple, like a bubbly cheerleader dating a brooding poet. One’s all about sunshine and rainbows, focusing on happiness and what makes life good, while the other ponders...
Emotional Recovery : Remembering To Honour Your Mind, Body And Soul
Ever felt that bone-tired exhaustion after a long day dealing with customers or supporting a family member in crisis? The emotional effort we exert with these tasks can be as draining as a full body workout but because it is ‘invisible’ we may not recognise the effort...
Toxic Positivity And Dealing With Negative Emotions
Recently online, I’ve noticed lots of talk about “Toxic Positivity” – so what is it, why is it bad for you, and how do we avoid it? What is Toxic Positivity and why is it bad for you? Toxic positivity can be defined as portraying a positive attitude or...
The Paradox of Perpetual Happiness: Embracing the Full Spectrum of Human Emotion
Happiness is often held up as the ultimate aspiration, a state of being that promises fulfillment and contentment. We are constantly bombarded with messages promoting happiness as the key to a successful life, from social media posts showcasing picture-perfect moments...
Let’s Stop Trying To be Happy
I know, not what you might expect from a positive psychologist but sometimes we need to step back to get a broader perspective. Whilst I love that the science of wellbeing has become increasingly mainstream, this does leave it at risk of over-simplification which can...
Challenge Yourself to a Healthy Future
As we age, it makes sense to prioritise our health and longevity. While many factors contribute to living a longer, healthier life, one of the most impactful is regular exercise. Research has revealed that regular physical activity in older adults can have as powerful...
The Cinnamon Trust: Helping Others Helps You Too
Today, we went on a dog walk, but it wasn’t just any stroll through the park! As supporters and volunteers of The Cinnamon Trust, we participated in the “Big Walk,” a nationwide event aimed at raising awareness and funds for this heartfelt cause....
How To Cultivate Hope In Your Life
It can sometimes feel like things constantly get in the way of our plans or goals. Perhaps there’s a job you dream of, but further study or money is an issue. Maybe there’s a competition you were destined to win, but ended up second place again. Or even a personal...
The Currency of Love and Happiness
In a bustling hall at the World Happiness Summit in London 2024, Dr. Arthur Brooks, a renowned scholar and speaker, captivated the audience with his profound insights on redefining happiness and love as the ultimate currencies of life. With a blend of wisdom and...
But How Old Do You Really Feel?
Have you ever been to a school reunion and met up with your former classmates who are the same age as you, give or take a few months? If so, you probably noticed the variety in how those people had aged – how they looked physically, how they dressed, how they...
Women on Reaching 60 and Beyond: What Will You Do with Your One Wild and Precious Life?
What Will You Do with Your One Wild and Precious Life? What would your answer be to this question? Gardening, jam making, crown bowling, reading books? Or perhaps you’re like many women who, out of necessity or choice, will continue working into their 70s and...
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Five
‘We see our world as we are conditioned to see it’ (Covey, 2013). Exploring Positive Psychology and Therapy over a long period makes you identify, analyse and reflect on your inner world with a greater awareness as you explore the depths of these domains. When...
Evolving Identities
This week I left my job. Something most of us have done at some point, but this time it wasn’t just the job I was saying goodbye to. I left my role as a housing professional after 25 years, and it has taken time to get my head around that! I knew I was nervous to...
Rebuilding Social Connection: Dr. Vivek Murthy’s Call to Action for a Happier, Healthier Society
For those who are not aware of what WOHASU is, I’ll start my writing with a link: https://worldhappinesssummit.com/ WOHASU is The World Happiness Summit, and it was created to bring awareness about the benefits of happiness and wellbeing. Or as Karen Guggenheim the...
Help Me, I’m Lost! WOHASU 2024
A last-minute ticket to the 2024 WOHASU event in London turned into an unexpected experience for me, one which I will treasure and reflect upon for many years to come. It’s hard to name a favourite speaker of the day, but the one who profoundly struck me was Alla...
No Ordinary Day! WOHASU 2024
Wednesday 20th March was definitely not any ordinary day. Firstly, I was in London on the Southbank for WOHASU 2024 (I will come back to explain this). Even though I once lived in London nowadays (I live between a caravan on the Kent coast and the forests of...
One Green Thing – WOHASU 2024
Heather White, the founder & CEO of OneGreenThing.org, addressed the World Happiness Summit (WOHASU) on how the climate crisis is impacting our mental health, leading to eco-anxiety, especially among young people. Many of us feel overwhelmed and unsure about how...
Why We All Need a Dose of RUM!! – WOHASU talk
Dr Amit Sood is a former professor of medicine at The Mayo Clinic and founder of the Global Center for Resiliency and Wellbeing. His Stress Management and Resiliency Training (SMART) model helps people understand the ways in which our brain functioning can be...
Junk Kouture at World Happiness Summit 2024
Troy Armour accidentally turned a personal hobby into what is now known as Junk Kouture, the global competition where more than 100,000 young people have transformed recycled materials into high fashion. At the World Happiness Summit (WOHASU) 2024 in London, Troy...
Life is a problem, and that’s good: Embracing, Managing, and Growing Through Pain
Pain, a part of your life How do we see pain? Physical, mental, spiritual… there are all sorts of pain. While we may go through seasons of suffering, most of the time if pain is not fatal, we will survive and go through it. A little depersonalization does no harm when...
Acceptance as a Foundation for Resilience
Introduction In this blog I hope to explore how awareness and acceptance of the messages our emotions bring us can influence our resilience. I contrast this with our natural tendency to resist, struggle with, control or rationalise our emotional experiences....
The Transformative Power of Positive Psychology in Healthcare: Nurturing Well-being for a Healthier Tomorrow
Introduction: In the ever-evolving landscape of healthcare, a paradigm shift has occurred, moving beyond the traditional focus on treating illness to a more holistic approach that emphasizes overall well-being. Positive Psychology, a field that emerged in the late...
A Hero’s Journey of Post-Traumatic Growth
Introduction What if everyone was born a hero? What if it’s just a matter of tapping into that potential? According to Joseph Campbell (1949), we are all heroes of our own stories. In Joseph Campbell’s book, ‘The Hero with a Thousand Faces,’ he...
Positive Psychology and Mental Health : Clearing The Path
The ethics of working with clients who are mentally unwell is a hot topic in the world of positive psychology and coaching. It can seem a grey space, especially as clients aren’t always aware of the differences between counselling, psychology, therapy or coaching or...
The Role of Character Strength in Resilience Development
Introduction Resilience attracted considerable attention and underwent substantial development in the 1970s, leading to a more profound understanding of the concept. According to Masten (2011), resilience has been observed in at-risk children with mental health and...
Introducing The Capstone Challenge
Hello, if we haven’t met before, I’m Lesley Lyle, a well-being therapist with a passion for sharing the science of happiness and personal growth. That also includes me – I’m also on my own journey of continuous self-improvement. Sharing My Personal...
Embracing Imperfection
I’ve always been the odd one out. A square peg in a sea of circles. Growing up, I never quite fit into the societal moulds neatly shaped for acceptance. But you know what? I’m all right with that. You may wish to listen to the audio version of this article...
Individual and Community Interventions
Third wave positive psychology and positive communities For this blog post I want to deviate away from focusing on the individual to reflect on what it might mean to apply a positive psychology intervention at the community-level. As a researcher and practitioner...
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Four
The power of habits While my baby daughter grows, each milestone is important and embeds the foundation of her emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual health. Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology stated when he searched what parents want the most for...
You have the right to know who is right
Listen to the audio version of this article In modern society, there is a prevalent emphasis on the left brain hemisphere, characterized by its logical, analytical, and rational thinking processes. This bias can be attributed to the prioritization of subjects and...
Building Your Psychological Safety
Listen to the audio version of this article This photo of a spider’s web, with one section in need of some serious renovation, resonated this month! Everything can be ticking along nicely then something, or someone, accidentally wanders into one of those flimsy...
Rising Above: A Tale of Positive Coping in the Face of Adversity
Listen to the audio version of this article The air hung heavy with the weight of uncertainty as I navigated the winding road of adversity. Life had a peculiar way of throwing curveballs, and the pitch was becoming increasingly unpredictable. Yet, within the ebb and...
Belonging, becoming the person you long to be
In drawing this card, you are invited to explore your belonging. Automatically, we go towards questions around belonging that include: “where do I belong”. But maybe belonging has more scope than knowing the outer place where we ideally may choose to live. The image...
Might the something more we strive to find, be who we long to become
In drawing this card, you are invited to explore more fully the person that you are becoming through your life and work. We often focus our attention much more on the ‘what’ we are doing which includes the goals we want to reach and what we wish to have. However, if...
What we accept in ourselves, we can accommodate in others
In drawing this card, you are invited to explore the nature of relationship and how your capacity to relate may be deepened. If we look to Nature and the photograph associated with these chosen words, we are taken to an evening beside the huge lake Inari in Finland....
Embracing Simplicity in Our Life
Do you sometimes feel like we live in a world where more equals better? More money, more clothes, more gadgets, more productivity, more growth, … It seems like a big part of our life is in fast-forward modus. We find ourselves entangled in the web of constant...
Evolutionary Psycho-Neurophysiology and Positive Psychology
Evolutionary Psycho-Neurophysiology and Positive Psychology: How our evolved brain can impact wellbeing. I am not a neuropsychologist. However, as a clinical and coaching psychologist, I share a number of insights with clients on the way the evolved brain can impact...
Averted Vision: How to Find What You Seek Without Looking
Have you ever tried to see a star in the sky and discovered that you can only see it when you shift your gaze away from it? This phenomenon is known as ‘averted vision’. I think it serves as a useful metaphor for what happens when we try to see clearly those things...
The Song That Transported Me
Have you ever been captured by the magic of a song? A song that transports you to another world, evokes intense emotions, and leaves a lasting impression on your soul? Twenty years ago, I was driving on the M3 motorway when such a song came on the radio. I was...
Global Spiritual Enlightenment – why we need it?
Listen to the audio version of this article In a world marked by rapid technological advancements, interconnectedness, and cultural diversity, the human desire to witness a global spiritual enlightenment is a natural and profound aspiration. While spirituality...
The Psychological Benefits of Volunteering
A personal perspective When I gave birth to my twins some 25 years ago, I told my husband “I want at least a year off before I think about going back to work”, and somehow that one year stretched into three. Then my third child arrived and the “going back to work” in...
Resilience, befriending suffering
Have you considered and or already realised what value there may be in befriend suffering? In drawing this card, you are invited to cultivate your resourcefulness and resilience as you go through life. Often the way we automatically think may be back to front. We...
Must we stray from the path, to recall our way
Many of us fear getting lost. And might avoid this experience it at all costs. But what if getting lost was just another natural aspect of being human and living our daily lives? If we were to view being lost not as something to be feared, but more as an opportunity,...
What to do when feeling stuck in your career
Listen to the audio version of this article. Bored with the tasks you do as part of your job? No energy to start any projects of your own? Not keeping up with what’s going on in your field? No longer finding your work challenging? If you find yourself answering...
Strengths: Getting Back to Basics
Listen to the audio version of this article. Journeys are best begun with an initial reconnaissance. We want to get our bearings, check out what supplies we have in our backpacks, decide on a destination. A self-development journey is no different and learning...
Goals and Circumstances – A Friendship
Listen to the audio version of this article. In life, we all have goals that we want to achieve. These goals can be big or small, short-term or long-term. But regardless of their size or scope, our goals are important because they give us something to strive...
Positive Psychology, Control and Wellbeing
Introduction In this blog I look at the role of control in our wellbeing and talk about my model of the things we can control with a practical example of how this might be used to support mental health. Is control good for us? Most of us like to feel in control. It...
“Don’t it always seem to go …
In 1970, Joni Mitchell recorded the song “Big Yellow Taxi,” which contained the immortal words, “don’t it always seem to go, that we don’t know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone.” I think the lyrics referred to the...
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Three
Navigating motherhood for the first time is unknown territory and unique as each one of us is different. But to me the most gracious gift from the divine. My husband and I are mediums and we met in a spiritualist church. Therefore, my blogs will have the essence of...
A Dose Of Clarity In A Day, Keeps The Infodemic Away
Words put in action affecting your lifestyle, way of thinking and seeing the world? Have you ever wondered why? As the years and even decades are passing by, you wear different clothes, you have different hair style, you listen to different music and so on. Have you...
Positive Menopause; Taming The Dragon
By the time you get to your 40s and 50s you think you have a pretty good handle on who you are, then along comes menopause and everything can get turned on its head. It is a time in life that often involves considerable external pressures so it may not be obvious that...
The powerful self-question in midlife
The powerful self-question in midlife As a coach I used to think that powerful questions were ‘clever’ questions you learn by rote, but a powerful question emerges from the relationship, from being there with the coachee, curious and genuinely interested in their...
Do We Feed An Insatiable Appetite Or Soothe The Part That Hungers
In drawing this card, you are invited to look a little deeper into yourself. To consider who sits beneath your superficial awareness and how knowing this person may offer insight into what you may truly need. The words of the card talk about ‘feeding an insatiable...
Free From Logic, The Impossible Becomes Quite Plausible
This card invites you to recognise the limitation of overthinking and trying too hard to work things out and the wonderful opportunity that imagination and creativity offer you. The imagination can often be viewed and judged negatively as the ‘softer sister’ of...
What is Positive Psychology Coaching?
Introduction: In this blog I talk about one way in which Positive Psychology (PP) Coaching can be applied to help people live flourishing lives. I aim to explain what this might involve and when it might be helpful. An applied science PP has always been an applied...
Do What You Like or Like What You Do?
We are humanity and we are doers, we live by doing things. We start our day by looking into the mirror and wash our face or take a shower. We do this in order to help our body to wake up and get ready to move. And of course, to feel fresher and better. We then get...
10 Reasons to Enrol in the MA in Spirituality, Ecology & Mental Health
Here are 10 reasons why you might choose to enrol in MA in Spirituality, Ecology & Mental Health at Buckinghamshire New University. 1. Academic Excellence The program is offered by Buckinghamshire New University, renowned for its Centre for Positive...
Soul – That Which Longs To Live, Unhindered By Must, Should Or Ought
Consider how much the words ‘must, should, and ought’ impact and shape your current life. Do you always do, what you must, should, and ought? Consider this carefully and take time to respond. When we do what we ‘must, should, and ought’, we meet with expectation – the...
The Exit We Seek May Be An Entrance
I have always been interested in the symbolism of doorways. As a photographer, I loved taking photographs of different doorways that I am drawn towards and then I place the completed image on solid walls to create a new aperture, an imaginative way through and beyond...
Boundaries: Learning To Put Yourself At The Centre Of Your Decisions
Asking For What You Need Boundaries are not all about saying no to what we don’t want, equally important can be asking for the things we do, but that doesn’t always feel comfortable or easy. So how to do it? The answer is straightforward, you just have to practice,...
Might Darkness Lighten Our Way
We often think that being in the dark is scary. As a light seeker, having travelled out and into the night many evenings with the hope of catching sight of the elusive Aurora Borealis, I have learned how to befriend the dark. The night may not be the void that we...
Trying Less, Discovering More
The world can sometimes feel like a real effort as we strive hard to be better. Whether we seek a bigger home, a better job, or to have more for ourselves and or our family. Striving seems to be central to our everyday life and work. Wanting and having seem to be key...
Mid-life Transitions: How to feel alive
Following on from my last post on mid-life (https://www.thepositivepsychologypeople.com/focus-on-mid-life-in-21st-century/), this one is also about mid-life, but here I am focusing on the experience of how to feel alive, even when things are changing for us. It can be...
Stillness Moves
All of us want to change and grow, but how do you enable this prospect? What are the times when you have grown the most in your life? Take some moments to name these times if you will… Consider what has been essential to your growth during these times. What vital...
World First MA Spirituality, Ecology & Mental Health
I’m really excited to share some information about a fabulous new Masters’s degree course that starts this September at Buckinghamshire New University. Headed by my friend and colleague Lee Newitt, this will be the first ever MA in Spirituality, Ecology...
The Story Of Dopamine
“Hello there, how do you do? My name is Mr. Facebook, I’m sure you know me. Look, do you wanna check your new notifications, perhaps scroll through interesting feeds?” “Don’t listen to him! He is distracting you. Instead listen to me, my name is Instagram, and I’m...
Knowing What Locks, Frees
In taking this photograph of the Northern Lights I had to scramble in the dark across rocks to get a good shot. Though at first the rocks were an unwanted and challenging obstacle, in the resulting photograph they take their place and are an essential aspect of the...
Five Considerations to Help Navigate Meaning & Purpose in Mid-life
You may have heard of the term ‘midlife crisis’. As people approach their mid-thirties or forties, it’s quite common to experience a phase of deep reflection, introspection, and evaluate one’s accomplishments in life. Quite often people start to question whether it’s...
About MSc Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP)
The Master of Applied Positive Psychology course, MAPP, is of interest to a wide range of individuals of all ages who are looking to learn more about positive self-development as well as professionals working in the fields of coaching, education, healthcare, and...
Why Kindness Counts
A good piece of news from the 2023 World Happiness Report is that rates of kindness are increasing. This was judged by more people having helped a stranger, donated money or goods or taken part in volunteering compared to data from previous years. In this blog I take...
Kindness 2.0
Kindness 2.0: going beyond the feel-good factor to true compassion. As an associate lecturer at Buckinghamshire New University one of my favourite parts of the job is marking one of the first assignments on the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology course. Students...
The Qualities of Qualitative Research
Often qualitative research is seen as second best to quantitative research. It doesn’t give us numbers that we can analyse and compare. It does not translate well into headlines. It is more complex, more time-consuming to analyse and results may be more ambiguous....
Can We Thrive When We Are Lonely?
Let’s talk about loneliness. What does it mean to be lonely? Why do we feel it? Are there any good things about being and feeling lonely? People sometimes do feel lonely, but when ‘sometimes’ becomes ‘most of the time’ is what worries us. Right? Abe Maslow said that...
Vulnerability – The Lost Piece That Completes Our Jigsaw
In the moment I took this photograph, the Northern Lights appeared to adopt an unusual shape in the sky, not unlike that of a jigsaw piece. This left me contemplating what if life were a jigsaw? What would be the ‘picture on the box’ and if and how do we piece...
Perfection – The Only Goal We Complete After Life
Let’s start with a question: If, and how well, do you know the perfectionist in you? For many years I have worked as a coach enabling others to deepen knowledge of themselves and to make vital developmental choices fostering growth whilst developing a growing sense of...
We Live Superficial Lives, Longing For Depth
How much of our lives do we live on the surface? Presenting only a fraction of who we really are to the world outside and those we meet? When we become busy and feel the pressures of the world, we commonly experience the emotions of anxiety, fear, and frustration and...
How to Remain Empathetic During Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of life, whether it’s resolving a conflict with a loved one or consoling a friend in distress. These conversations are emotionally charged which makes them tricky to navigate in the heat of the moment. A key skill that...
True Power Is Realised In Letting Go Of Control
When I took this photograph the Northern Lights were strong and powerful and were being brought to earth, or earthed as if there was some huge lightening conductor. I recall musing about power as I took this image and then the phrase of words came that I am now...
Living Life Through Flow Not Force
Wouldn’t it be nice to feel like you are living life through flow? How great would it be if things just fell into place, with minimal effort on your part? Imagine the peace, the joy, the gratitude of a life like this. Let yourself imagine it for a moment. Let yourself...
Focus on Mid-Life in 21st Century
Mid-life now in the 21st Century is a much different experience to that which our parents and grandparents experienced. Mid-life is broadly considered to be between the ages of 40 and 65 years of age. Many of the adult development theories we still rely on to define...
Inspired by – Diary of a CEO with Steven Barlett, Part 2
This second episode looks at the themes of happiness from Steven Bartlett’s diary of a CEO
Finding The Answer Be Relinquishing The Search
Our lives may often feel problematic because we are largely engaged in getting to the answer. The self to which we most commonly revert, especially when under pressure, is an avid problem solver. Rapidly seeking to judge right from wrong, this is black and that is...
Inspired by – Diary of a CEO with Steven Barlett, Part 1
The inspiration for this podcast is Steven Bartlett, CEO. Houseworking strategy I listen to podcasts or desert island discs when I’ve got practical jobs like housework and other DIY things to do. I find it’s an effective way to tackle chores,...
Wisdom – Intelligence Of Whole Unhindered By What We Know In Part
We all wish to be wise and place enormous value on those around us who show wisdom. But what is wisdom? And are we able to find it? Without doubt, most of us may spend our lives searching. The photograph of the Aurora Borealis shows a vast Northern Lights show that...
To Quicken, First Slow
A key theme that may be emerging is How often do we take time to rest in our daily working lives? Do our homes have sanctuary spaces – where we can ‘put up our feet‘– reflect, contemplate, and restore? The little red boat in the associated image has found its own bay,...
Remembering to Uncurl: Your Parasympathetic Nervous System
The world moves so quickly. It’s not surprising that our minds and bodies can sometimes struggle to keep up. Evolution takes a long time. A really long time. We often forget because our brains are wonderfully plastic and constantly adapting but some parts still...
Lessons from Positive Psychology
First of all, let’s clarify what positive psychology is not, as it’s commonly misunderstood. Smile, think happy thoughts, be positive and never give up. While there are benefits to those suggestions, we must be cautious of toxic positivity as it’s much more complex...
At The Heart Of Winter The Promise Of Spring
One of our themes through a ‘Guiding Hand’ is how much we can learn about human nature from Nature herself. And not unlike Nature, we may too experience ‘seasons of self’’. Consider the times when it feels like you are experiencing your own Winter when you feel...
Jo Sunshine – Applying Positive Psychology in Art
I’d like to introduce you to Jo Sunshine, a very aptly named artist. In my opinion, she is a role model for what the theory of positive psychology looks like when applied to the everyday life of a person. Her spirit shines through her artwork and in her attitude to...
How to Hold Space -to be Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally Present
Life is never a straight line. There is no one perfect recipe to create a perfectly happy life. Sometimes everything is great, and we are in a flow, enjoying everything we do and sometimes we feel like we are standing still and maybe even going backwards. Life is a...
Positive Psychology – Moving Forward
Following on from my colleague Lisa Jones’ blog (January 2023), I want to consider further the recent paper by Carol Ryff (2022) “Positive Psychology: Looking back and looking forward.” From its inception, PP was intended to redress the historical focus on the...
The Power of VIA: Signature Strengths
Whilst most people are acutely aware of their weaknesses, few can accurately name their strengths but we all have them! The VIA Institute On Character offers a free online survey that will help you discover your greatest strengths to unlock your potential. It will...
Silence Fills As We Empty
The world in which we live, and work can be a busy and noisy place. This distracts our attention, and we become unfocused, unclear, and dispersed. It’s important to remember that our quality of attention determines how we see, for whatever we attend to, we bring into...
Building a Career In Fulfillment
Have you ever wondered why do we have to work? What is work and why does working seem so natural in every country in the world? Is it normal, natural, and healthy? We were part of the jungle, not too long ago. I say not too long ago, because 30 or 40.000 years is not...
In The Dark Confines Of The Chrysalis We Hatch Our Wings
How many times do we find ourselves in the darkness? Statements like ‘I am a little in the dark’, are not uncommon when we are feeling lost and unsure of the way forward. As a ‘Light Seeker’, one wishing to experience and photograph the Northern Lights, I am very...
Lessons From Positive Psychology in my Life
Positive psychology has helped me better understand my past and enabled me to see endless opportunities for learning, in myself and others. Since taking the time to reflect, I’ve felt less regretful when looking back on my life and much more hopeful when looking...
The Liberation of Abandoning All Adjectives
Isn’t it nice when we get a compliment? It can give us a boost, somebody’s noticed us or noticed what we’ve done. A compliment is an expression of admiration, respect or approval and typically it leaves us feeling valued. However, my eyes were recently opened to a...
How to Form a Happiness Project Group
A happiness group is where a group of people gets together and discuss a range of topics that affect their day-to-day happiness including definitions of happiness, goal accomplishment, habits, mindfulness and personal values. We spend enough time worrying about how we...
How do we get in our own way?
As a coach and psychotherapist, I have had the privilege of working with folk from across the world in different cultures, who all collectively aspire to grow and develop. There is one question that appears to emerge in almost every conversation, which either sits in...
The Vital Other.
I am a man who values his own space, partly maybe because I was born a twin. However, I am continually humbled by the realisation of a truth of development – that we develop through vital others. At key points in my life, sometimes almost magically, someone has...
How Disney can help turn your dreams into reality
You might wonder how Disney could turn your dreams into reality but the Disney Creativity Planning Strategy is a problem-solving and creative thinking technique developed by Robert Dilts and Todd Epstein based on the process used by Walt Disney and his team. Here is...
Staff Wellbeing: Lessons From A Global Pandemic
Acknowledging the value of staff wellbeing has come a long way in the last few years. The pandemic bought the topic into sharp relief and did much to convert policies into practical action. There was a genuine need to check in with isolated employees to make sure they...
The Problem With ‘Goals’ and Why Focusing on Your Values Will Help.
When I was a new mother some 20+ years ago, Gina Ford published ‘The contented Little Baby Book” outlining her strict daily routines for parents and babies to follow, based on her experience as a maternity nurse. Opinions on the book split the world of new parents....
How to be a Positively Psychology Deviant!
For this post I wanted to reflect on a recent article by Carol Ryff ‘Positive Psychology: Looking Back and Looking Forward’ (2022) which is a timely and needed article about the state of research and the need to expand its focus into the inequalities, greed, and...
Climate Anxiety and Positive Psychology
Introduction Most of us will have seen the coverage of the COP 27 summit on climate change in November 2022. Our news feeds are full of reports of extreme weather events and the impact they are having on the planet, nature and people. This crisis threatens the whole...
Self-Compassion Cultivates Courage in Athletes
Having self-compassion is the ability to recognise our own suffering and take action to comfort and care for ourselves. Traditionally, some may think that this is the road to complacency, but research from Kristen Neff (2011) shows us that it is the road to...
When Unexpected Things Happen
Due to circumstances, and the unexpected things that have happened, I am forced to now follow the advice I usually give my clients! As the year draws to an end, this is usually a good time to reflect on everything that happened and look forward to what the future...
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Two
In part one, Transitioning into Motherhood, I explored my pregnancy journey. This blog – December 2022, marks the first anniversary of the death of my beloved cat Bella. She was part of our family for eleven wonderful years and this blog honours her memory. Bella...
Wellbeing At Christmas: The Three Gifts of Mindfulness, Balance and Compassion
Love it or hate it, Christmas is upon us once more! As I get older I find myself more often in the ‘love it’ camp but I still have to watch that I don’t let things don’t slip over into ‘The Season of Too Much’. If I do, I start to feel overstretched and it can become...
Honesty Equals Health and Happiness
So many of us do not speak or live our truth with honesty. We might think that it’s no big deal. Sometimes it is OK or even necessary to put on a happy face, to keep your cards close to your chest, to just keep quiet and muddle on through for a bit. But, doing this...
Connecting Through Stillness and Silence
“The more space we give to stillness and silence, the more we have to give both to ourselves and to others” – Thich Nhat Hahn “A poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare” – W.H. Davies The late Thich Nhat Hahn was a wise person indeed. He...
Flourishing – What Does it Mean to Flourish?
To promote flourishing is a key target of Positive Psychology (PP). In this blog I hope to look at what is meant by the term flourishing and how theory and research about the concept are developing. I highlight the debates and challenges and ask how you might look at...
How Understanding Your Strengths Can Liberate You From Perfectionism
Character Strengths An important topic in the field of positive psychology is the study of strengths. The basic idea is that we are all different and have different strengths – thoughts, feelings or behaviours that come naturally to us and give us energy and a sense...
Managing Boundaries at Christmas
Guess what? Disney Christmas only exists in films. If that’s a blinding glimpse of the obvious to you then you need to read no further but for those of us who struggle every year with the concept of what we’d really like to do and what we feel obliged to do, read on...
Seasons of Life – Seasons of Emotions
Today I would like to explore positive emotions by using the analogy of the seasons. For those of you who have read my previous blogs, you will know my calling to help people to increase the amount of positive emotions they experience. This is because there are so...
Just Keep Going, Don’t Give Up!
When I look at many successful people in life, be they successful on the grand stage or in their private lives, whether they run a multi-million-pound business or they have the happiest and most wholesome marriage, one thing that they seem to have in common is this:...
Reframing Change: Staying Resilient As Life Happens
This September my daughters left for their first term at university. They are twins so milestones arrive in duplicate. No dipping toes into changing family dynamics for me; it’s a head first dive into an empty nest situation, and it has churned up a lot of emotions....
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part One
In June 2022, I gave birth to my first child at 42 years of age. The pregnancy was deemed high risk from the start due to my age and I needed to draw on the skills I acquired during my studies on MSc Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP). The medical profession has to...
Mental Health – What it really looks like
Where do you think you might be on the mental health spectrum today? (don’t worry it changes regularly) just today…are you struggling or thriving? unsettled or excelling? It’s important to really stop for a while and connect with what you’re thinking and feeling to...
Stop, Pause and Reflect
When I give webinars or training on topics about wellbeing, communication or leadership I often share my mantra of “stop-pause-reflect.” Usually, the people in my audience all have a very busy schedule and they feel as if they are putting out fires all day long....
Satisfy Your Soul, Not Society
Satisfy your soul, not society – I borrowed this title; it was a quote I saw on social media and it really resonated with me. I think this is not only my life’s ambition – to satisfy my soul, but it’s also why so many people are not happy and healthy in their...
Mappy Birthday!
Congratulations to Bucks New University as this year was the 10th year of their Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP). I was fortunate to be a member of their very first cohort and I feel gratitude for having Applied Positive Psychology come into my life. Like...
Finding Well-being in Nature
Introduction Contact with nature has long been thought to have positive impacts on well-being. In recent years this effect has been researched systematically. I hope to give you a brief overview of what has been found, discuss the mechanisms that might underpin these...
Keeping Positive When You Are Not Well
I had just given my first ever group coaching event looking at wellbeing and resilience in the workplace when I came down with a short illness. Nothing serious, a chest infection that dragged on, leaving me exhausted and aching. The usual activities that frame my day...
The Misconception About Introversion And Extroversion: Enjoying Alone Time
There is a common view that introverts don’t like interacting too much and would rather spend time alone, whilst extroverts spend all their time socialising and hate being alone. Is this a simplistic view of these personality traits? Could there be more to understand...
Do you hold yourself back in life?
Many of us want to live fully. We want to express ourselves and taste the many delights that this world has to offer. Like an eager child, we want to go forth into the world, to explore, to experiment, to play, to dive in. But equally, many of us don’t actually do...
Starting A New Job In The Post-Covid Workplace
The company I work for went through a merger this month and I’ve been planted into a new role. In many ways it is very similar to my previous position but with any new organisation comes new ways of doing things; new policies, new procedures and crucially a new...
Positive Psychology and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Introduction In this blog I aim to give you a brief overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/Training (ACT), outline why I believe it is very compatible with Positive Psychology (PP) and look at how the two approaches might complement each other. What is...
Are You Curious And What Are The Benefits of Curiosity?
What is curiosity? Why are we curious? What makes us curious? Psychology has a few answers to these questions, for instance, there are studies that show that curiosity may arise when we observe discrepancies (Berlyne, 2006), or when we perceive gap in our knowledge...
The Qualities of Qualitative Research
Often qualitative research is seen as second-best to quantitative research. It doesn’t give us numbers that we can analyse and compare. It does not translate well into headlines. It is more complex, more time consuming to analyse and results may be more ambiguous....
Dancing Your Way to Happiness
Dancing my way to happiness It was nearly nine years ago when I first walked into a modern Jive class. “ I want to learn to dance,” I said, “You’ve come just to the right place” came the reply. Little did I know then just how much dancing would change my life and the...
The Light Life Applied to Mental Illness
30% of the population lives with mental illness. That’s a statistic shared with me in an early 2000’s introduction to positive psychology. Today, Johns Hopkins reports that 26% of Americans suffer from a mental illness. Globally, it is reported that 11-18% of the...
Feedback and its bad reputation
Being able to give and receive feedback is considered to be one of the skills every good leader should possess. It is important because it promotes the professional growth and skills of employees, and it can create a greater sense of job satisfaction in the workplace....
Relaxing Your Way to Success
Relaxing is usually seen as luxurious downtime, rest time, recuperation time. It’s the lazy Sunday afternoon or the chilled-out beach holiday. It’s when you switch off and tune out, let go and release, mentally, emotionally, and physically. But it only happens here...
The Light Life Applied to Darkness
What happens when we use applied positive psychology on the darkness in the world today? This is something I’ve been contemplating for several years now. While working with people who were truly suffering, I attempted to apply positive psychology. I was in a...
Love Your Negativity Bias
What is your negativity bias and why do you have one? Your negativity bias is an evolved function whose purpose is the keep you alive. This means you are hard-wired to notice and act on negative information more than positive information. By noticing the dangers in...
Together Alone: Being By Yourself and With Yourself
You may be thinking that the two words ‘together’ and ‘alone’ are an odd two words to put together. I’ve put them together for this post to emphasise the need to know ourselves and be comfortable in our own company. In today’s contemporary world we have little time to...
The Light Life Leans on Languishing
The light life leans on languishing. The NYTimes recently published an Adam Grant article about how so many of us are languishing as a result of the relentless pandemic. Of course, once one major news source picks up a key concept, a flood of others follow suit. So?...
How to be Happy: Four Myths Debunked
The question of how to be happy, and how to live a good life has been kicking around for aeons. Back to when the Ancient Greeks were shooting the breeze in Athens, debating what type of happiness was best, there are written records of people discussing happiness and...
Becoming a Positive Psychology Practitioner
From Student To Practitioner I’ve always loved transitions. Moving from one place to another, starting things, packing up. It is a time full of potential and I relish the change. I’m meeting new people and feel buoyed up by optimism. It’s energizing. In my current...
Are You Joking?
Seriously… I’m not being ironic, I’m asking you, are you joking? Because why wouldn’t or shouldn’t you be joking? We know that being funny is not only good for those who are laughing at us but we the joker benefit from it as well. Humour is there for all ages, all...
Mindfulness and Meditation Revisited
Introduction Mindfulness and meditation are two of the most prolific terms in Positive Psychology and often the most misunderstood. I have not written a blog specifically on this topic since my very first one in 2017, so I thought it was time to revisit the...
The Light Life Gets Personal
The light life gets personal. It’s hard to imagine that 2007 was fifteen years ago, but that’s how long I’ve been in the positive psychology business. First, as a doctoral student, then university teacher, and finally, as a mental health coach. I...
Why using your local shops is good for your Mental Wellbeing
Did you know using to your local shops may improve your wellbeing? A few years ago I made a decision to stop using the major supermarket in the town and start using the local shops instead. There were a couple of reasons for this; I felt quite strongly that suppliers...
The Art of Observation
Allow me to take you by the hand and pull you back from the world and introduce you to the art of observation. Let’s retreat a little. Now, from afar, let’s look at what’s going on. Can you see it? The chaos? The confusion? The noise? The fear? Also, the hive of...
The Light Life Love
How deep is your love? Do you love yourself? How about your metaphorical neighbors? Your parents or family? The stranger on the bus, trying to make their way home? Humans are disconnecting from each other through our labels, categories, and fundamental belief...
Appreciative Inquiry in Coaching.
Why use Appreciative Inquiry in your coaching practice? We have so many positive psychology interventions to choose from, so why would we choose appreciative Inquiry (AI)? Positive psychology has a close relationship with AI, both start at a positive standpoint and...
Is Remote Working Damaging Workplace relationships?
Remote working is damaging workplace relationships, here’s how to tackle it The pandemic has created a seismic shift in the way in which people work. Both employers and staff are in a difficult period of fear and uncertainty. For employers, there is a lack of...
Are you Feeling the Pressure of Aloneliness?
Are you feeling the pressure of aloneliness? How to recognise it and take action It’s the New Year and most people will have had a whirlwind of a Festive season. The level of busyness cranks up for many and there is very little time to be truly alone- even in these...
Making and Breaking Habits – How to Reprogram our Lazy brains.
New Year’s resolutions. It’s traditional on New Year’s Eve to make New Year’s resolutions. People promise themselves they will lose weight, drink less, quit smoking or start exercising. If they are lucky, they might keep up their new year’s...
The Light Life is Holistic Healing
The Light Life is going to focus on the science of holistic healing for 2022. I am a firm believer in energy work. It is both scientifically backed and quantifiably verified. So why then, do so many people in the psychology industry, rebuke the effectiveness of the...
Values, Strengths and Goals: How do they work together?
In this blog I talk about what we mean by values, strengths and goals and how these can optimally work together to promote flourishing. Values Values are the things that really matter to us, our compass bearings for who we want to be in life and what we want to stand...
The Light Life is Curious
This journey into our 2022, the light life is curious. But I’m also wary, which makes for an eclectic mix of questions at this juncture in the journey through our positive psychology. The parts of ourselves that were rattled with grief, remain pain points for...
The Light Life Diamond Sky
Rhianna has a song that reminds us all to, “Shine bright like a diamond in the sky …” encouraging her listeners to be the glow up of their own choosing. All the challenges in the world can’t take your light from you, but they sure do try from...
Why Positive Energy at Work Matters.
Have you ever worked with a negative person, a chronic complainer who always points out why things are not going to work, often called a naysayer? And have you felt how this affects your mood and drains the energy in you and your team? You have probably come across...
Transforming Yourself From Caterpillar to Butterfly
The caterpillar Eat, sleep, repeat. You are what you are. You don’t even slightly resemble a butterfly. You are wonderful and unique in your own right, you are life, but you’re only ever going to crawl around on the ground. The human as a caterpillar is...
The Light Life Energizes
The light life energizes us to be open to living our best life. But, that’s not the only way to be. Have you ever felt like you don’t have any energy left? 2021 drained a lot of people of a lot of energy. We were tested with healing on multiple levels this year. ...
The Four Different Attachment Types in Relationships.
The four different attachment types and what this means for relationships. Attachment theory says that for their social and emotional development, children need to form a relationship with at least one primary caregiver. This attachment normally develops through four...
Why Positive Education Matters
Positive education interventions are very slowly making their way into some mainstream schools and colleges. However, there are very few that offer a whole-school approach. Notable ones are Wellington College, an independent school in England and Geelong Grammar in...
Pride and Prejudice Review – Positive Psychology Book Club
Welcome to the new series of Positive Psychology Book Club! Each month I will review a fairly recent work of modern contemporary fiction through a positive psychology lens – announcing the book we are reading and giving you a month to read it in advance....
How Positive Psychology Can Help us to Cope in Difficult Times
When life deals you Lemons… Positive Psychology has sometimes been described as what takes us from OK to great – but what happens when something knocks us sideways and we are finding it hard to cope? There are times when things just aren’t going right for us and no...
How to Have a New Experience Without Leaving Your Chair!
Really we don’t need to always be out and about having a new experience; we can create our own simply by expanding our imagination and our access to new words. In this post, I aim to show you how that can be done. As I continue my research into what it means to be or...
The Importance of Boundary Setting for Optimising Positive Emotions
‘The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefitting from you having none’ I have seen the above quote a few times on Facebook. I usually write in line with empirical research regarding Positive Psychology, but...
The Light Life Honors the Shadow
In our work, we must not forget to honor the shadows. Life is not always full of light and love, nor is it full of shadows or darkness. The balance sways in one direction or another over the course of our lifetime. On any given day, we could be weathering a storm...
Fierce Self-Compassion
My favourite Positive Psychology book of the year (so far) is “Fierce Self-Compassion” by Dr Kristin Neff. Self-Compassion is one of my key areas of interest and in this blog, I hope to outline the new insights into this concept described in the book and how they...
Living Your True Nature and Purpose
Do you feel lost? Confused? Dissatisfied with life? Why are you here? Who are you? How are you meant to live? What are you meant to do? Why don’t you feel happy with your life? Well, I can’t guarantee that I have THE answers to these complex, existential questions....
The Light Life Warm Fuzzies
Our world needed the warm fuzzies by the 1990’s, but, do we need something more now that it’s almost 2022? I’ve been a fan and advocate, teacher and practitioner of the positive psychology movement since 2007. We have changed how the world works. We’ve watched our...
Why Are we Rubbish?
What does the state of our rubbish say about our relationships with ourselves, our communities and our planet? Why is it that some people take pride in how they leave places that they visited and others could not care less? What impact do these different values and...
Positive Education – Live It
We travel in this world in our bodies, it is our temple and it needs the right nourishment to do all the wonderful things it is capable of doing. The mind-body connection is constantly bringing new depths of research to help us navigate our way to flourishing. I...
Support and Tools For Personal Growth
Wanting the best for those we care about is a very common trait. We try to support those around us, helping them on their path, providing them with support and encouragement. This can often be very successful and we see those we care about grow in confidence as they...
The Never Ending Search for Beauty
What will make us truly happy? There is a lot of pressure in the media to look beautiful. Do we just age gracefully and accept the inevitable impact of time or do we want to make the best of our body and brains? How do we judge what is acceptable and what is not? Are...
Loneliness or Solitude? It depends on your point of view!
As a loneliness researcher, I am interested in the history and meaning of the word. Did you know there is no specific word that means the opposite of loneliness? This is intriguing in itself! Just to add to the mix, if you compare the word solitude with loneliness you...
The Light Life Flow Up
To Flow up is to glow up. I love pop culture references in synergy with the positive psychology terminology. When we glow up, we are reinventing ourselves in the best of ways. I’ve decided to reinvent the reinvention and call my own journey a ‘flow...
How Comparisons Affect our Happiness and Psychological Wellbeing
Racing for gold Imagine yourself performing your favourite sport in the Tokyo Olympics – maybe a running event. You’ve worked hard, trained for it, you’re ready for the big day. On the day, it gets off to a good start, you race hard, and it goes better than expected....
Using Positive Psychology in Practice to Manage a Challenge
PP in Practice In this blog I’m aiming to describe how I used a range of PP strategies in real-time to help me cope with a minor drama and look at the ways in which they helped. I also look at how this is different from the way in which I might have responded in the...
The Light Life in Transitions
Life is a series of transitions. It skips a beat sometimes. Whenever we have a legal holiday on a Monday, I spend all day Tuesday, thinking it’s Monday. Today, is such a day. When we’re going through transitions, our routine has hiccups. My decision to...
The Light Life and Happiness Noir
Happiness Noir came about after working with clients who were suffering, but had strikes against them beyond what they could help or control. They were female, in a male world. They were fiscally disadvantaged (not all, but most) compared to the rest of the world....
Positive Performance
Every organisation, small or big, wants to be successful. Whether they will succeed in this aspiration does not only depend on their products or technology. It mainly all revolves around their people. Research in the area of organizational psychology demonstrates that...
What is Psychological Safety and Why is it Important?
The term ‘psychological safety is used increasingly lately, but what is it, what does it feel like, how do you create it and why is it important? What is psychological safety? “Psychological safety is being able to’ be yourself’ without fear of negative consequences...
Stop Blocking the Flow of Love in Your Life
Love is endless. Limitless. It never runs out. There is a constant fountain of it in your heart ready for you to pour on everyone that comes your way. When you focus on that fountain, when you don’t close the tap, when you’re non-judgemental about who it spills out...
Positive Experience
People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves.”― Paulo Coelho The above-mentioned quote is a straightforward and direct explanation of what experience is. It is something that we have to find out for ourselves, we have to go...
The Light Life as an Artisan Human
Artisan humans live in poetic motion. To live well, we don’t have to be happy, but we do have to want to be happy enough. Most of the time. The satisfaction is in the nuance of what ‘happy’ looks like for each of us individually. It will not be the same for...
The Strength In Forgiveness
Forgiveness! Now that is a superpower. It is a chance to reclaim control of your emotions, your thoughts and your behaviour. There is a strength OF forgiveness as identified by the VIA Character Strengths and I would like to explore that as well as the strength IN...
The Wisdom of Loneliness
There is understandably an increased concern since the Covid-19 pandemic that more people have been left feeling lonely. However, is loneliness all it seems? It is defined as a perceived lack of social relationships but research has found loneliness is more complex...
A Mindful Return to Freedom
The last year has been like none the world has ever experienced in my lifetime and it has certainly been a time of huge change, mental and physical readjustment with many challenges along the way. For me, a move to a new country, culture, and way of being has made...
The Light Life Circle of Fire
The circle of fire symbolizes so many things in our human history. It could be the circle of life or perhaps the enso, a symbol that indicates that the mind is free for the body to create. Some even say the earth itself was made in a ring of fire. What fuels our...
Let’s Talk about Life’s Big Questions
In this blog, I look at how Positive Psychology (PP) can provide pathways to help us engage with questions about what is important in life, whatever your background. The benefits of talking in groups One of the things many people have noticed during the pandemic is...
What is the Dating Game?
Are you in a great relationship or are you hoping to start a new one? If you are looking to start a new one, here are some thoughts contrasts with the animal world and the whole dating process laid out simply. We have been in and out of lockdown and uncertainty for...
The Light Life Reignite
She reignites the fire to light the path on a new adventure. People have to take time away from their daily “normal” in order to hit the reset button. They have to give themselves space and time to replenish their interest in their lives as a whole. We’re all talking...
The Benefits of Gratitude Journaling
What is gratitude journaling? In the last couple of decades, research into happiness and wellbeing has shown that consciously choosing to participate in certain activities (sometimes called positive psychology interventions) can have a positive effect on our mood,...
How to Laugh Your Way to Better Wellbeing
Laughing just for fun is good for you. Origins of laughter yoga In 1995 a medical doctor in India was looking for ways to improve complete health. Not just physical health. Not just mental health. Complete health, including physical, psychological, social and...
How I Lost Hope During the Pandemic
Whilst studying for my Positive Psychology degree I came across hope theory by C.R.Snyder. Hope theory basically consists of 3 components, a goal, a pathway, and agency. It is something I instantly recognised as I realised, I’d live by this theory for most of my life....
The Light Life Went Dark
The Light Life went dark for a while. I had to pull back from writing in order to remember why I was writing in the first place. If I use the terms “purpose” or “meaning” or even, “grit and resilience” anymore, it’ll feel so...
How to Support the Wellbeing of Your Team
Change. It’s been quite a year. A pandemic, economic uncertainty and technology changing at the speed of light. Change can be exhilarating but continual change can create anxiety and eventually health issues like burnout and depression. How can you as a manager...
Five Benefits of Silence in a Noisy Digital Age
The ever more connected, fast-developing digital world brings us so many opportunities. We can connect with, speak to and work with people thousands of miles away. Having information at our fingertips allows us to learn new things, often for free, on almost any topic...
Relationship Ripples
In this video, I talk about how one small ripple can have a huge positive or negative impact on a relationship. If we can recognise when our relationship has changed and what the ripple was, then we can either replicate the positive or deal with the reason for the...
The Joy of Melodies
We humans, have developed over time a taste for sweet things, an eye for sweet things and a smell of sweet things, but we also developed an ear to sweet-sounding things. Now, what is sweet and to whom is a subjective question, and I don’t want to discuss that here,...
Gardening – A Flow Activity or a Mindful Activity?
Is gardening a flow activity or a mindful activity? This was a debate that I had with fellow Positive Psychologist Kim Furnish recently, and we did not agree. Gardening is an activity enjoyed by many, myself included and I often find myself in flow when gardening. I...
Aren’t we all just so damn complex!
As a researcher and practitioner, I have noticed a gradual yet significant shift in the way we view the world. Gone is the reductionist research and interventions which aim to resolve issues by only looking at the issue from one narrow perspective. In comes the...
Grateful, Grounded and Resilient, No Matter What.
I have taken part in and read many conversations recently about improving our own wellbeing, particularly as many of us have seen some light at the end of the COVID-19 tunnel and are considering the best ways to live our lives with our returning freedoms. Common...
The Strength of Perspective
The value of strengths A focus on strengths is an integral part of Positive Psychology. Research shows us that those who regularly use their strengths have greater wellbeing in terms of health, happiness, relationships and even performance. Strengths use is associated...
Developing a Writer’s Mindset
Why Can’t I write my Book? Developing a Writer’s Mindset It is not often that writers lack ideas or technical ability to ‘write the damn book’. Often the reasons are psychological and can be greatly assisted by putting some effort into creating your very own...
Positive Meaning
In this 6th blog on positive leadership, I will discuss the importance of enhancing positive meaning at work. As human beings, it is in our nature to experience a search for a meaningful life. We actively seek purpose, also at work. When employees experience this...
The Light Life Dims Once in a While
The Light life dims once in a while. The same is true for our emotional health. Imagine you walk into an art studio to see a dim light from a single flickering candle. Around it are 13 artists, each learning how to capture the light on canvas with paint. You will see...
Which Arm Did You Choose Today?
An invitation to be vaccinated… I have occasional health anxiety, I know what caused it, how it gets triggered and how to manage it. The pandemic didn’t help and when I was invited for my Covid vaccination I had very mixed feelings. Of course, I was going to have it,...
The Pitfalls of Seeking Perfection
Chasing perfection is not only futile, it’s also painful! In this video, I talk about why we seek perfection, what pitfalls this lands us in and some things to think about if you are ready to leave your days of perfectionism behind.” Read about Pinky...
Music and Wellbeing
When people say music makes you feel better, they are right. For those who do not think this way (although I hardly believe that), I recommend you give it a try. I remember when sometime in 1990 right after the fall of the Soviet Union we had the chance to – legally...
Cultivating Positive Thinking in a Pandemic
The Power of Gratitude The Pandemic has refocused our lives. The restrictions have created a different way of living, a new perspective and reflection process. For some of us, the treadmill of life has slowed down, for some, it has stopped completely and for some...
The Positive Psychological Power of Rethinking Your Dreams
We humans are all narrators of our own life stories. We are meaning-making creatures, even those of us with no religious beliefs. Our lived experiences shape the way we see ourselves and influence the creation of our internal ‘screenplay’. McAdams (2001) life story...
Language Feeds What We Believe
Language feeds what we believe, which shapes what we think and feel- let’s take back control! Have you ever thought about the words you use, the information you absorb and how you make sense of the world around you to shape your beliefs? It may seem that what see and...
The Light Life Sun Rise
Every morning, if we are lucky, the sun will rise. We are but one in seven and a half billion people who live that shared experience. This, and death are the only two things that we, as humans, share entirely and in certainty. For 200,000 years, humans who looked most...
Have a Beautiful Day: Even in Lockdown
Celebration in isolation A number of my family members and friends have birthdays near the beginning of the year. The usually joyful question of; “What are you doing for your birthday this year?” has recently been met with; “Well we can’t really do anything can we?”...
Lockdown – Dealing with the Dark Side
Lockdown Insomnia One of the side effects of this lockdown for me, seems to be a type of insomnia. I have no problem going to sleep, but often wake up about four hours later and have an hour or two of wakefulness, before eventually drifting back into a sound sleep. In...
Resilience is All Around
It is fair to say that most of us were not expecting a worldwide pandemic to strike or to go through lockdowns, tiers and constant speculations – nor to be catching up with alarming statistics everyday, speaking of infection rates, death rates and admission...
The Light Life Glow Up
‘Glow up’ is a new term to me. To Glow up is to go through a major transformation in the best possible way. Physically. Rebel Wilson, according to my Google search, has gone through a major Glow up. Neville, from Harry Potter, went through one of the most...
Positive Communication
In this 5th blog on positive leadership, I will explain why positive communication is a key asset to the workplace. What do we mean by positive communication? It is using a language that is based on respect, that builds trust and collaboration and it is as such the...
Everyday Awe
Sometimes it’s one of those simple everyday occurrences that can bring some much to our life but we don’t fully appreciate it. This is exactly the case with ‘Awe Walks’. I only read about these this autumn and they are so simple and yet make...
Quarandreams
Dreams have become deeper and more vivid during lockdown. These are being called ‘Quarandreams’ Dreams are the natural and safe way that our brain uses to process thoughts, memories and possibilities to make sense of them. The brain can then let the detail fade away...
Pandemic – How to manage emotions and increase resilience
We are only too aware of the physical, social and economic effects of this current pandemic, but it is also widely acknowledged that the psychological effects on individuals will be possibly our biggest long term challenge. Mental health and the pandemic The burden...
The Light Life, Lighten Up
Sensitive humans are frequently told to ‘lighten up‘. Some experts say it’s a disorder. I say it’s a super power. It’s exhausting to feel everything in a world filled with loud crowds. It’s not easy to live a quiet life in our...
False Positivity Versus True Optimism
The ‘be positive’ movement has been running for a while now. On the surface, it feels like a great thing – why wouldn’t you be positive? It makes sense that being positive is better for you mentally, emotionally and physically. The problem is that a lot of people...
The Wolf Within You
There is a tale of unknown origin. An old man says to his grandson:” There’s a fight going on inside me. It’s a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil-angry, greedy, jealous, arrogant, and cowardly. The other is good-peaceful, loving, modest, generous, honest,...
12 Relationship Challenges and How to Overcome Them
A relationship can be the most wonderful thing in the world. It can start magically but it requires a significant investment of time and energy to keep it vibrant. Here are 12 major challenges for you to address. 1. Communication Many couples drift apart...
Positive Relationships
So far, I have discussed two strategies to become a positive leader: creating a positive mindset and cultivate a positive climate. The third strategy is to build positive relationships. An organization depends on his individuals to interact and form connections to get...
The Light Life, Internal Energy
Our internal energy is the fuel of our light life. They say that human beings have 27 emotions, depending on genetics. The neuropsychology of sentient beings taps into how our electrical wiring connects us to all other experiences in life. We have at our disposal,...
In the Presence of Hope – Is the Power of Everything.
The Foundations of the exploration of Hope: One of my roles is teaching drama and something very interesting took place with my year 11 students. For their GCSE they have to create a devised piece of drama. The requirement is the teacher provides a variety of...
Managing Culture Shock with Positive Psychology
Whatever the reason for uprooting from the land where you were born and bred, whether it is for financial reasons, a change of scenery, for career progression or to escape persecution, relocating to another country impacts every aspect of life. My MAPP research...
The Gift that Keeps on Giving: Building Your Conceptual Knowledge
In previous posts I have written about emotions and how they are constructed by us rather than fixed within our brains. This gives us a great deal of freedom and opportunity to construct many different emotions to build a healthy emotional life. To do this we need to...
The Light Life Lighthouse
Did you know that the state of Maine, USA has 80 lighthouses? No one is more significant than the others. Lighthouses are the perfect metaphor for how our field works. To me, the psychology industry is supposed to be a lighthouse for healing more than a stand alone...
Elevation: What is it and why do we need it?
When did you last feel elevated? Elevation is the emotion elicited when you see someone do something morally beautiful, such as helping someone in need. Try and think about the last time you experienced this. Perhaps it was seeing a video about a hard-working...
New Year – Fresh Start
The joy of a fresh new page My family laugh at me, as whenever I decide to be more organised, I buy myself a new notebook or planner. As I open it, the crisp clean pages make me feel like this is a new start, a new beginning. They laugh because they know that in a few...
The Light Life Reflection
This last day of the calendar year 2020 offers us a reflection of all that came to pass. This year is particularly poignant. We didn’t all make it. The intensity of feelings are stronger. People have been living on the edge of their emotions while ardently...
How Can I be a Better Writer?
Sarah sits alone at her desk, it is dark outside and her desk lamp seems to make the glare of her failure even greater; the suffering of a writer is a lonely, painful, unspoken one. Often plagued by self-doubt, highly skilled at procrastination and with very tight...
Positive Climate
In my previous blog, I described the first step towards a positive leadership approach, the positive mindset. We need to learn to see possibilities instead of only what is present and focus on strengths instead of weaknesses. In this third blog, I will explore the...
Lockdown Emotions How They Impact Your Relationship
Lockdown is a time where the disrupted world will unleash a whole range of emotions. These are likely to be heightened by the continuing uncertainty and lack of control. Lockdown 2.0 is worse in many ways than the first because the novelty has worn off, the days are...
A Christmas Gift For You – Self-Compassion
Christmas brings mixed emotions, it can be a time of joy, of people coming together, of sharing and thankfulness. However, it can also be a time of pressure, conflict and stress. Sometimes it can seem that there is that unspoken requirement that everything needs to be...
Acceptance – Why We Need More of it
Acceptance and its questionable reputation At first glance acceptance doesn’t have a great reputation does it? What often springs to mind is defeat. It feels somehow passive, perhaps resigned to settling for less that we had hoped for. It may feel unpalatable and...
How to Lose Emotional Weight
Emotional baggage is heavy. It weighs us down mentally, energetically and physically. You’ll notice for example that people who have a lot of stress tend to get backaches, headaches and tension in their shoulders. People with anger and anxiety tend to get stomach...
The Light Life Twinkle
It twinkles and sprinkles our lives with happiness. This thing we call the pursuit of peace. You thought I’d say happiness, right? Nope. It’s not happiness that is the ultimate goal for millions of people. Especially in times of suffering. Happiness is a by-product of...
Stressful times? You’ve got to Laugh
Speaking as a positive psychology student who feels they should know how to cope, I have to admit that there are times when trying to maintain a positive outlook on life gets increasingly hard. In the early days of lockdown, I managed to retain a grateful outlook on...
‘Love, as it turns out…’
‘Love, as it turns out, nourishes your body the way the right balance of sunlight, nutrient-rich soil, and water nourishes plants and allows them to flourish’ (Fredrickson, 2014, p. 4). As the schools shut on 20th March 2020 and the teaching world embraced a...
Positive Poetry Path for Positive Wellbeing
Positive Psychology and Poetry Positive Psychology advocates the cultivation of positive emotions this is possible through the process of association of absorbing rich literature. Positive psychology refers to this as a form of flourishing behaviour. The novel aim of...
The Light Life Flash Dash
A flash fiction, is fiction, written quickly, on the fly or, in the moment for a writing sprint exercise. I’m currently taking part if the NaNoWriMo, a yearly competition for novel writers to get to a goal of fifty thousand words ~ done in one month. It’s...
Embracing Our Multiple Selves in Coaching
Do you ever think about who you are? Do you say you are an introvert, extrovert, creative, energetic, or some other descriptor? Often we speak of wanting to be our ‘best selves’, or we might say we ‘we weren’t at our best’. That indicates that who we are at any given...
The Light Life on Fire
When we spend our days focusing on turmoil, we can feel the fire of negative emotions coursing through our thoughts. Our emotions are running high these days. We feel an urgency to do … something. We are experiencing an emotional surge that is one part,...
Meaning and Well-being
Having Meaning in life is good for you Positive Psychology (PP) research consistently shows that experiencing high levels of meaning in life is associated with all sorts of positive wellbeing indicators such as life satisfaction, hope, optimism and resilience to name...
How to Spice up Your Sex Life
Questions that Couples rarely ask each other are: How good is our sex life? Give an honest calibration out of 10 for quality and quantity. What am I not doing that you would like me to do? What am I doing that you would like more of? What am I doing that you would...
Is Now a Good Time to Re-connect with Nature?
“Nature is one of the most underutilized treasures in life. It has the power to unburden hearts and reconnect to that inner place of peace” Janice Anderson With all the Covid restrictions, it’s not an easy time to become close to fellow humans. Whilst the argument for...
The Light Life Sparks
Sparks fly when we are connected to the universe in such a way that no matter what’s happening, we know we’ll be okay in the end. This seems to be a statement that will have people disputing it. Especially when the world feels upside down to many. But, it...
Positive Mindset
Being a leader can be quite challenging. You are responsible for your team, your department and your business goals. You want to be successful and motivate your people to perform at their best. After all, you all want to achieve great results, no? Well, it might not...
Global Positive Hope
In Greek methodology, hope was the only remaining element in Pandora’s jar when she unleashed all the evils in the world. Bearing in mind our current climate I feel hope is the only way forward and we must cultivate it in abundance. Hope is defined as “to want...
How To Maximise Your Strengths
How do we know when we are using our strengths? It is when we are feeling energised when a task is easy and enjoyable to complete. It is when time passes quickly when we look up and think where did those two hours go. It is when we have a feeling of satisfaction in...
Emotional Affairs – Where’s the Line and What to do if You’ve Crossed it?
We have a clear understanding of what an affair is and this normally involves sex. Emotional affairs do not involve sex but can be even more damaging. What is an Emotional Affair? An emotional affair between two people is a relationship with the closeness and...
The Light Life’s Touch
In the interest of a positive psychology movement, a light touch is sometimes needed. We are a small community that influences the ever- popular global ‘positivity’ movement. There are flaws. But there are flowers. No garden is perfect in its ordered...
Managing Relationship Boundaries is Key to our Personal Resilience
Boundaries are really important in relationships, whether they’re personal relationships or work-based relationships with colleagues.
Tapping Into Your Creative Genius
Changes are happening in all areas of our lives due to continual covid lockdowns. Work, home, business, education, socialising, family, entertainment, health, economy, finance, travel, community – many things are crumbling before our eyes. This leaves us with...
The Light Life Learn
She learns, and then she creates a world she wants to live in. We are not a singular being, yet until we define who we are as individuals, how can we possibly become part of the whole, let alone become part of the greater good? We are collectively giving in to the...
Social Reality and How to ‘emote’ Wisely
Our world has changed significantly over the last few months. This post looks at emotions from the lens of social reality. At a time when everything feels as though it is out of control, now is the time to take stock and reflect on what we can control. We may find...
Mental Strength As Society Opens
Who would have predicted the changes we have witnessed and lived through over the past few months? Certainly not me. While it has been an appalling time with much suffering and fear, the beauty of human nature has once again revealed itself during these unprecedented...
The Happiness Benefits From NOT Buying Clothes
The challenge A couple of years ago, I decided to set myself a challenge of not buying anything I didn’t really need for a whole year. For me the main challenge was not buying clothes – I’m not a shopaholic, but I’m a female who likes to express myself through what I...
The Role of Novelty and Adaptation in Well-being
A change is as good as a rest? The old adage suggests “a change is as good as a rest?”. In this blog, I take a look at how Positive Psychology (PP) views the idea that both novelty and adaptation are important factors in well-being and what that might mean for us as...
The Light Life Listen
Put it all away. Turn off the sound. Listen. Breathe in and then out. What do you hear? What is around you? What have we taken for granted as an organic contribution to your aesthetics? Does the natural sound of where you are contribute to your overall sense of well...
It’s All About Re-connecting With People
Whilst in the midst of the recent lockdown, there have been a number of concerns regarding the effect this will have on loneliness. According to the campaign to end loneliness (https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/) there are an estimated 9 million people in the UK...
Lockdown and Social Connections
Why we need to remember what lockdown taught us about the importance of social connections Evidence There is plenty of evidence in positive psychology of the benefits of social connection. Having strong social ties makes us healthier, happier, more resilient and can...
The Light Life Glow List
It’s been said, ‘you glow differently when you’re actually happy.’ I think that, when you glow, you flow, which is beyond the general well-being toward a eudaimonia level of happiness. We flow when we are glowing or, we glow when we are in alignment through mind, body...
Let the Light Life Sparkle
The Light Life will sparkle with joy, bliss and love. This new blog is my contribution to The Positive Psychology People. We’ve been living in some darker times for so many individuals. Some of us have lived in unabashed privilege and comfort while others have...
The Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
A core strength The appreciation of beauty and excellence is described by the VIA Institute on Character (viacharacter.org) as one of the 24 universal core character strengths. In this blog I want to describe what that means and how developing this strength might help...
Global Pandemic
The world grew quiet, Streets were empty, The silence, eerie, not serene. People were afraid, Stalked by an invisible foe, Noise signalling threat. In isolation humanity retreated, An apocalyptic stillness. But the earth endured, The sun turned, While birdsong...
The Education System is Broken: Here’s an Alternative
My whole life long, I’ve been a misfit. In school, I was the nerdy kid with glasses who was always studying. At university, I went out only 2 times in my first year, only to overcompensate and subsequently turn into a party animal. And after graduating, when my peers...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Education
The history of teaching and education, my journey. I’ve just graduated again. This time, an advanced graduate certificate in mental health counseling. I don’t need all the formal education any more. Now? I want it because ‘love of learning’ is...
How to Develop Meaning and Life Purpose
If you want to have more meaning and stronger life purpose, develop and love your mixed emotions There is a growing interest in the role of mixed emotions. Until quite recently it was considered that mixed emotions cannot truly exist. This understanding is changing,...
PURE model for Positive Adaptive Behaviours
Positive Psychology advocates Positive behaviours with the current climate an amalgamation of Positive emotions with actions is a much needed attribute to avoid the cultivation of negative emotions. I feel at this point of everyone’s mind we question ourselves...
Hard Times
Imagine you were born holding the script of your life in your hand. Imagine if you, your mother your loved ones could erase all the bad things that were going to happen to you. Imagine if your life were to be one of total bliss and happiness. Imagine if nothing bad...
Compassion in the time of Coronavirus
Yes, it’s my favourite topic! Those who have followed my blogs will know that compassion and self-compassion (SC) are key interests of mine. Perhaps then it is not surprising that I come back to them when the world tilts sideways and we all find ourselves in lockdown...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. 21
Do you know how much we can get done with 21 days in staycation? Lock down? Social distancing? Physical distancing? SO MANY things! In 21 days, we can kick a sugar addiction ~ knit a blanket for a friend ~ write a novel ~ change the trajectory of our goals ~ befriend...
Balancing Positive and Negative Emotions
Positive Psychology’s relationship to emotions One criticism of Positive Psychology (PP) has been that it focuses too much on positivity and neglects the reality of suffering as part of human experience. This results from a misperception of what PP is really about....
Mindfulness is more than hype
Mindfulness seems to be the latest buzzword, not only online or in lifestyle magazines, but also in the business environment. This is good news because now more people get to know the concept of mindfulness. But it is also dangerous because misconceptions are being...
Knit 1, Purl 1, Decrease Stress
I have just returned from a weekend knitting festival feeling completely rejuvenated and raring to go. Why do I feel so refreshed? I believe it is because I have been using and witnessing many Positive Psychology principles in action. Mindfulness The benefits of...
Living A Colourful, Messy and Resilient Life
Most of us want to live a life of happiness, joy and flourishing, yet whilst we might actively strive for happiness, life throws us all kinds of challenges so that peace, calm and fulfilment often seem to evade us, no matter what we do. So, is it so bad to be unhappy...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Honor
Breathe in. Honor the feeling of your full lungs. Breathe out. Feel the power of knowing that from the moment we are born to the moment we die; our lungs will continue to work without us giving them any thought. Honor the whole of who you are. Honor yourself as a...
Mental Health – Prevention is Better than Cure
‘Prevention is better than cure’ so the old adage goes…and it was never truer than with mental health. Fortunately, there are actions that we can take in order to keep ourselves psychologically well and resilient. It concerns me that the focus for some organisations...
Doing What You Truly Value Makes You More Resilient
There’s something I’ve learned through studying many successful and highly resilient people over the last 13 years and, from observing myself when in my most resilient state. It is the immense power of living in accordance with your own values and therefore by...
The Power of Goal Setting
In the dawn of time, with the ebb and flow of the rhythm of life, the presence of change whispers. This is the first stirrings of a new beginning. This is the face of the New Year and regarding 2020, also a new decade. The word NEW echoes through as one chapter...
The Four Qualities of Close Friendships
Do you have a best friend? Friendships are very important to our well-being and happiness. This blog takes a look at friendship research and highlights the qualities that are needed to maintain and deepen close friendships. Research has found that there are four...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Cultural Consciousness.
Cultural consciousness is a powerful awakening and something not often fully embraced. We become complacent in our daily lives. Some of us are content, while others create chaos out of discontent. We have the capability to foster growth, no matter where the seed was...
Patience
What’s the hurry? There are many lessons to be learnt in life. Some take longer than others to master. For me, one of the hardest is patience. Patience is a nemesis that I still have to conquer. You could say that I am impatient to become the King of patience. The...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Worldview?
My worldview is evolving. GGG @ TPPP is cutting back to bi-monthly as a result. Why? This writer is in a winter-hibernation-worldview-reflection time. The solitude is deafening, and yet necessary. Mastering contentment with silence is needed in order to truly know who...
Strengths Development in Context
A cornerstone of Positive Psychology A focus on strengths rather than weaknesses is a fundamental aspect of Positive Psychology. Research supports the idea that regularly using our strengths is good for both well-being and performance because capitalising on our...
Grit, Grace, Gratitude 2020
2020 means perfect vision. A perfect balance of all that allows one to see both the near and the far. I’ve been thinking about my part in helping the positive psychology people develop, along with other journeys in the growth of the field of positive psychology....
Open Hearted Resilience Through Loving-Kindness
When we think of the concept of resilience, it may be that we think of simply being tough or breezing through challenges with little acknowledgment of discomfort. Yet research has suggested that resilience is not about avoidance, but about being able to sit in our...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Silence
The sound of silence. There’s a ringing in my ear. The hype of pending holiday. It’s growing very near. This year is very different. The atmosphere’s been changed. There is no joyous noel. The memories remain. The children are all grown now. The...
Using Kindness to Increase Self-acceptance
What is it to truly accept yourself? To accept your strengths and weaknesses, to accept your past choices and behaviours, the good things that have happened and the bad and to accept you’re not superhuman or perfect? As many other people can be, I am often hugely...
The Benefits of Fostering ‘Belonging’ in the Workplace
Belonging – What is it? To feel a sense of belonging means to be accepted… It’s a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Feeling that you belong is vitally important to seeing value in life as well as coping with intensely painful emotions. Why...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Paper.
Paper Moon. Paper Dolls. Paper Houses. Paper Towns. When we offer trust, but someone betrays us, the analogy is the crumpled paper. Once smoothed, it’ll never be the same, but it will still exist. We have always known that we are more than what the world sees....
The Power of Individual and Collective Action
One starfish at a time Never before have we had to draw on our collective human strengths and resources more than now. The country is divided, we are all suffering from Brexit burnout, it seems as if community spirit is dwindling and I sense people feel angry and...
Post-Election – How We Will Make a Difference
The recent UK election was not a straightforward process. Brexit played a huge role in how people voted and for some, it meant prioritising one set of values over another. Winners and losers UK elections work on the principle of first past the post and...
Politics and Positive Psychology : Thriving in difficult times
Many people in the UK woke on the morning of Friday the 13th of December 2019 feeling the date was an appropriate one. Our country voted to endorse the Conservative manifesto, which for those more left-wing in their thinking, felt like a betrayal of the values of...
The Art of Presupposing: Blending NLP with Positive Psychology
This blog looks at how we shape our beliefs, frame experiences, create meaning, and judge other people and situations. Neuroscience is demonstrating more and more that we have far more control over our thoughts than we thought and many behaviours and mindsets can be...
Quest for Spirituality: a Journey to Self-discovery
What does Positive Psychology say about Spirituality What do human’s search for when they search for spirituality? Zinnbauer & Paragament (2005, Pg 611) have suggested that it is “a quest for existential meaning, to the transcendent human dimension” meaning that...
Straddling the fine line between arrogance and confidence
I know I’m very, very, good at what I do. I have been studying human development for 13 years, I have been blessed with a keen sense of awareness and when I’m tuned in, I can spot truth in situations and people pretty fast which allows me to get to the root of...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Choice
“It is my choice” is ownership. One of the most self-empowering declarations we can make, is the ownership of self. Follow through on those choices are liberating. Empowerment is not something we can be given. Nobody else can give us the choice to do...
Choose a Happy Winter
Choose a Happy Winter We are beginning to get the first hints of winter, but before we start hibernating I’d like to take time to appreciate the autumn. What a beautiful autumn it has been. The season never fails to delight and by directly and consciously...
Cat Got Your Tongue?
I consider myself to be a confident person. I am accustomed to standing in front of a room full of people and speaking. In my work, I deliver training as well as work as cabin crew, so I am always communicating. However, put me in a social situation such as a party...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Transcendence
When we heal, we experience transcendence. People who fully live in the present are able to navigate from past experiences toward a more meaningful life. Those who feel that sense of wholeness or completeness are able to transcend the lessons we learned along the path...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Abundance
Abundance ‘I have abundance of …’, finish that sentence in your own voice. ‘I am abundant in …’, finish that sentence. Turn it into an action word, and now, a present day, ‘now’ phrase. The self-help industries tell us to envision it, as if we already...
Let’s Slow Down To Speed Up
We live in a fast-changing world. We all feel it. Technology evolves at a high speed and it seems the challenges get more difficult by the day. In order to cope, we work harder and faster. We seem to be stuck in fast forward. Getting caught in the fast...
The Positive Psychology of Pets
Personal Experiences of Pets My colleague Kelly Seaward wrote a beautiful account (May 2019 blog) of her positive experience of living with her cat, Bella. I too have had wonderful experiences of pet ownership as a child and more recently with my cat Florence (see...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Genuine Heart
The genuine heart speaks to the soul of others. This one is for you Lesley, from the heart. It’s not business. It’s personal. Grit, grace and gratitude grew organically out of 4 years of writing for the Positive Psychology People. It came from living...
Making Lemonade When Life Gives Us Lemons
I have always been curious about why, despite really tough circumstances, many people manage to take the lemons life throws at them and make them into lemonade. I have also always loved this saying. Apart from making me smile at the thought of adodging lemons being...
How to Flourish
What does it mean to ‘flourish’? Is it possible to determine the state of flourishing and apply it to all of humanity? Well, yes and no. There are some core elements that need to be in place but of course the practical specifics will be different for everyone. Some of...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Freedom
This post will be from a place of “freedom”; an existential concept I’ve been working on in my studies. “Freedom” is the inescapable aspect of the human condition; we are the authors of our lives and therefore are responsible for our...
What Am I Good For
What am I good for? I recently attended the International Meaning Conference (IMeC) in London (July 2019), which held many inspiring talks by inspiring people. It led me to reflect on the journey of positive psychology and how it has come a long way from being all...
Courage to Brave the Wilderness
In the words of Brené Brown in her book Braving the Wilderness, she embraces the wilderness as ‘the quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone’. These words of wisdom which Brown shares throughout this book came into my life at the exact time I found...
Want to be resilient? Then Forget the Crowd and Follow Your Truth
You know that feeling when you’re doing something or being somewhere and your heart’s just not in it? It might be your job, your relationship, a family event or a social gathering. Whatever it is, you know deep down that you don’t really want to be there but, you felt...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Beautiful.
Eunoia (n.) a pure and well-balanced mind, a good spirit. “Beautiful Thinking” Beautiful thinking will get you everywhere. Grit, Grace and Gratitude are navigators, but the Eunoia is the driver that clears the mind’s path toward living. I’ve lived in the darkness of...
Nature’s Strengths
I have often written about the many benefits of being in nature which include increased feelings of well-being and happiness, reduced stress levels, improved concentration and lowered blood pressure. This summer has offered many opportunities to explore varied...
Choosing Love
“No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its...
Children and Device Use
There is no denying that family life can be demanding, juggling parenting with working and running a home. Children need interaction in some form or other and often there isn’t the time or opportunity to give them the attention that they need. Parents look to their...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Wabi-Sabi
Wabi-sabi (n.) the discovery of beauty in imperfection; the acceptance of the cycle of life and death. Wabi-sabi is a Japanese phrase that’s become popular amongst the trending wordsmiths in search of meaning. It also represents the goal of a grief cycle. The...
Negativity is NOT the key to success
We all know that negativity has an immense impact on how we feel, work and interact with others, so why do we allow those feelings to influence us so much? It is simple, as human beings we have a negativity bias. Our brain has a built-in negative bias that causes us...
Forgiveness as a Strength
Knowing your strengths Knowing and developing one’s signature strengths is a core feature of Positive Psychology. Regularly using our top strengths, rather than focusing on our weaknesses is an evidenced based means of promoting well-being. That’s not to say we should...
Grit. Grace. Gratitude. Duende.
Duende (n.) the mysterious power of art to deeply move a person. “Heightened sense of passion.” It is incredibly brave to sit in the stillness of something beautiful. We dare to open our hearts to the isolation of depth within our own mind’s eye. Our emotions can be...
Positive Courage
What does Positive Psychology say about Courage? Earlier philosophers state how courage is an essential virtue which floats between cowardice and rashness (Aristotle, 350 BCE/1999). The changing face of courage has shifted from support for a diminishing cause viewed...
Grit, Grace, Gratitude. Philosophy
One philosophy tells us that our lives are predetermined. Another says that we have free will. Another still, tells us that life is meaningless, and we are an accident of atoms smashing together in the great cosmos of a lucky toss of the dice. So why do we continue,...
Embracing Change in an Ever Changing World
There are few certainties in our human existence, aside from the understanding that our experience of life constantly changes. Much has been written about how we manage and think about our journey of change and whilst inevitable, change can be experienced as either...
Grit, Grace, Gratitude plus sneakers
Grit, grace and gratitude are our trinity. Grit is the key ingredient to standing up in a world full of trauma and drama. Grace, the glue to hold it all together. And gratitude? Gratitude is a gift we give ourselves in good times and in bad. We in the positive...
Gratitude, Guilt and Everything In-between
It may come as no surprise that as a relatively self-aware thirty something woman and mother I struggle with frequent feelings of guilt. It seems as professional women we are constantly exposed to reminders of our dual responsibility to care for others, the gratitude...
The Positive Psychology of Poldark
Poldark is back on our screens with a new, and final, season. Even as a recently new convert to the show I’m finding it is hitting the happiness mark for me yet again. After the latest episode I found myself thinking about the characters and how people lived in those...
Kindness is a Much Healthier Option
The Message Cancer Research UK has recently decided to lead an awareness campaign highlighting the risk of obesity to certain types of cancer. They have in fact, plastered amongst other places, London Underground with their message, written to look like a cigarette...
The Power of Faith and How to Cultivate it
Imagine a life full of hope, peace, freedom, acceptance, patience, courage and optimism, versus a life of doubt, agitation, restriction, blame, urgency, fear and worry. Though we’ll all experience the latter to some degree, only faith brings the former into my life....
Take Listening to a Higher Level
Imagine a couple is moving house, it’s an exciting time, they are able to upgrade and move to somewhere ‘better’. It has the potential to be an uplifting experience that brings them together. They are growing and progressing, they are now able to get...
Getting your flow
Identification The classic “go to” piece of advice when you find yourself worried, anxious, grieving, broken hearted, or angry is near enough always the same: “distract yourself” or “try to take your mind off of things”. These phrases are much more easier said than...
Litter – A walk in the Park
Recently, I was walking in Richmond Park with my partner, our friend and her two young children. It was a beautiful spring day and a real chance to blow away the cobwebs. Richmond Park is outstandingly beautiful and well maintained. Sadly, not all visitors...
Why Relationships Benefit our Happiness
Human Beings are social animals. As far as we know we started our existence in small groups somewhere in Africa and continued this way for nearly 200,000 years living in social communities. However, many of us don’t live that way anymore. Here in the west, much more...
Echoes of I am good enoug
As I sit in the last year of my 30s, ready to embrace a new decade and becoming 40, I pondered on my life? What I have achieved? Where I am heading? What things do I need to let go of? Question after question transpires as my analytical nature sets this milestone...
Can Positive Psychology Enhance Your Holiday
Time for a break As the schools break up in the U.K. for the summer vacation, many people are focussed on their upcoming annual holiday. The nature of “the holiday” varies from something that people spend significant money on and involves travelling to far flung...
Re-framing experiences using our senses
Re-framing experiences using our senses: sight, sound, movement and feeling This blog is an exploration into how we experience the world using our senses. It looks at the power of our visual, auditory and kinaesthetic systems to shape how we respond to the world...
Humor in the workplace
Being part of an organization can be exciting. It’s a place to share ideas, collaborate, and feel as though you are making a difference. And, sometimes it can be stressful. Personality conflicts and miscommunication can contribute to stress in the workplace. In some...
Finding Paths to Resilience
Looking back at my own life journey, particularly over the last decade, I see my personal path to resilience as a series of blue sky days with golden sun-rays with some very grey days flooded by thundery showers. Yet despite some stormy times, I generally find myself...
Words and meanings of Gibran
“My house says to me, ‘Do not leave me, for here dwells your past.’ And the road says to me, ’Come and follow me, for I am your future.’ And I say to both my house and the road, ‘I have no past, nor have I a future. If I stay here, there is a going in my staying;...
Shame or Self-Compassion?
Can we live a good life alongside shame? If we are to aspire to the positive psychology goal of a good life to flourish and thrive, we need a conversation about the role of Shame, and in particular, society’s obsession with the body and the impact that message has on...
Supportive Relationships Enhance Resilience.
How much do you enjoy your work relationships?… If you answered ‘a lot’ to this question you’re likely to be significantly more resilient than people who answered ‘not at all’… We invest a lot of our time and energy at work, it can be miserable when...
Learning to Live – Using Positive Emotions for Self-Change
Awe. Recently I’ve been reading Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’ and went on a solo ‘artist date’, my first one ever, to the Ashmolean museum in Oxford to see a Jeff Koons exhibition. I was a little apprehensive about going as art exhibitions aren’t usually...
RAISE Your Bar in the Classroom
As I set out to write this piece, I thought of who my audience might be. Should I write for elementary age learning, adult learning, in the classroom, or online? After a few seconds of thought, I determined that there are benefits across the board. Learning and...
Six of My Top Life Lessons
I could probably write 100 life lessons but, I’ll save that for my future book! I love learning about myself, about others and about this thing we call life. And, I love teaching and sharing my lessons with anyone who’ll listen. If you’re up for listening, without...
Positive Personalities – A New Measurement Scale
What a lovely surprise to come across a piece of research conducted by Scott Barry Kaufmann and his colleagues in which they construct a new scale to measure positive personality traits. They have called this the Light Triad Scale. As we know for many years,...
Is Kindness a Necessary Component of Happiness?
Kindness wasn’t part of my dissertation that I completed recently as part of my degree in Applied Positive Psychology. The dissertation focused on people who had divorced over the age of 50 and had rebuilt their lives through social groups. The focus was on...
The Positive Power of Having a Pet
And so the story begins… Nine years ago I was blessed with a cat. My childhood home only briefly had pets: a puppy which got ill very quickly and had to be put down. Another puppy, which ran away while we were on holiday, when staying with my aunt and uncle and...
The Power of Music
Do you recognise that feeling when you are in the car listening to some music and then they play something that strikes a chord and it reminds you of someone or some situation and wham, you just start crying. Well, I do. Quite annoying when you are on your way to...
Can Your Job Make you Happy?
Job, Career or Calling? Most people spend a large part of their life at work. How can this significant investment of our endeavor contribute to our happiness? Seligman (2002) suggested that individuals can see their work as a job, a career or a calling and that which...
The Importance of Socratic Questioning in Positive Psychology
Much of applied psychology and psychotherapy aims to help the client move from a belief that keeps them helpless and stuck towards one that is helpful and enables mobility into a more positive existence. The purpose of positive psychology interventions (PPI) is to...
An Interview with Dr Ryan Niemiec
Dr Ryan Niemiec is the Education Director at the VIA Institute on Character and in this interview, Ryan talks about his new book, The Power of Character Strengths: Appreciate and Ignite Your Positive Personality. The book is co-written with VIA Senior Scientist, Dr...
Positive Education
The science of Positive Education What is positive education? Well it is perceived in Positive Psychology as positive emotions and attitudes derived from subjective wellbeing student’s experiences within their schooling environment. So how would we create a school...
Feeling Grateful For This Present Moment
As I am writing this, I feel tired but content. As I wonder about what to write, I am thinking about how I would rather be in bed on this chilly—yet sunny—day here in the Chicago suburbs. (When it is chilly outside, I love being inside with my cozy socks on while...
It’s not all downhill… finding hope on the slopes
Those of you who have ever taken a winter skiing holiday will know that it’s common to spend as much time travelling uphill as skiing downhill. Last month during a beautiful sunny day, I found myself again propelled upwards courtesy of a button lift and enjoying some...
Resilience and Organisational Culture
How conducive is your organisational culture to facilitating resilience in your employees? Sustained organisational performance requires individuals to have recovery periods. Without recovery periods people burn out. That applies to everyone, even you! How...
“Why me?” Well, why NOT you?
When things are bad in your life, it’s easy to think ‘why me?’. Why do I have a rubbish job? Why is my relationship not working? Why did I lose my phone? Why is my family so difficult? Why am I sick? Why do people treat me poorly? Why did my car break down? Why didn’t...
Laughter – the before and after of happiness
You don’t need to be happy to smile or laugh, but they can make you happier. The benefits of it go beyond the present moment. “How do you know if somebody is happy?” Usually people reply: “The person laughs or smiles.” Does that mean that all laughing and smiling...
Noetic Nomad Avoiding Anger
When we avoid anger, is it necessarily a bad thing? When someone wants absolute peace in their lives, they are going to choose to avoid anger. Not the emotion of anger, but the acts of angry people. The peace-seeker doesn’t do this because they can’t handle it, but...
Forgetting to Live
I often find myself in a state of what I call ‘forgetting to live’ and wasting my time away thinking about what I want from life, what I need to tackle and other life worries. I know this is a habit I’ve had since I was a child and every now and then I’ve tried to...
Me, Silence and Self-Compassion
Setting the Scene I feel the need to mention here that I have experienced very little actual silence in my life. By the time I was born, there was already a big brother, followed by 2 more siblings, I then married and have had 4 wonderful children, now blessed with a...
Noetic Nomad Navigating Noise
For two solid weeks, the earth’s energy has been high. The personal days have been sparking strong emotions. I’m sitting in my favorite coffee house on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, listening to the roar of coffee grinders and trendy music, sprinkled with emotional noise...
Could Mindfulness Combat Racial Bias?
“A solitary dream can transform a million realities. The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious, but the desire to reach hearts is wise”. Maya Angelo Mindfulness is at the heart of happiness studies in Positive Psychology (PP) which are at an increasing...
On Making your bed
Having decided that I would write about making your bed this month, the first thing I had to do was actually make my bed. So I completed a task that I always do when I am home or away. It’s something that comes naturally to me as I am a tidy person but what are the...
Spring And An Invitation To Rebirth
Spring offers the time for renewal, upliftment and an inner awakening. It is stretching out the body, mind and soul from the darkness of the winter and it brings the feeling of coming to life for all of God’s creations. The hibernation season of the winter months...
Other People Matter
The late Chris Peterson, one of the founding fathers of positive psychology would often begin lectures by stating: “I can sum up positive psychology in just three words: Other People Matter. Period. Anything that builds relationships between and among people is going...
Why failure is important to well-being
The success culture When we think of the word failure, we do not think of well-being but the opposite. We live in a world where we worship success and achievement. We are conditioned to strive to constantly be better, thinner, more beautiful, richer, more successful,...
How to laugh, smile, dance and sing: Using humour to turn overwhelm into playfulness
This month’s blog looks at humour and how it can be used to reduce anxiety and overwhelm. I’m certainly guilty of taking myself and life far too seriously much of the time. With the endless responsibilities and goals we have each day it’s no wonder we loose ourselves...
Noetic Nomad Building Birthdays
I like to think of birthdays as building blocks of consciousness. I don’t look at them as an end date looming in the nearing distance. I look at them as knowledge-building opportunities for growth. I think we get the celebration of life all wrong. We are terrified of...
Do What Matters To You
Doing what you don’t want to do is a travesty. OK. Maybe that sounds just a little dramatic. But, I have recently been presented with the “opportunity” to assess if and when I am committing to others or other projects that are not in line with what I need to be doing...
Your Best Competitor is Yourself
Comparing to others All around us are images of people doing wonderful things and looking fabulous doing it and while at times this can be very motivating and inspiring, at other times this can also be disheartening. One of the things I’ve repeatedly noticed is the...
Positive Psychology Questions
How did you hear about positive psychology and what drew you in? As a current student of the MAPP at BNU, these are questions that my cohort and I are frequently presenting ourselves with. And they are useful ones. I find it terribly easy to get hung up on meeting the...
Noetic Nomad Dreaming of Dragonflies
This noetic nomad is dreaming of dragonflies. Living in a balanced exploration of ordinary life in a miraculous way. Not everyone understands or sees that. This blog for example is fifty two new opportunities to discover something wonderful about life. Thrilling,...
Noetic Nomad Aligning Algorithms
Want to be happy? Align your algorithms. Our lives are predicted by the company we keep online. At least, that’s how the online community sees us. They know what we like and sadly, what and whom we don’t like. Some people love to throw those Pan Am smiles and fake...
How to help your people through change
Are there any organisations that aren’t changing in some way? Are organisations ever stable anymore? Whether the change comes from external drivers such as Brexit or technology or internal factors such as restructuring – change is omnipresent. And maybe it’s no...
How I developed gratitude in the workplace
How often do you express appreciation at work? I’m not just talking about thanking someone when, for example, they hold the door open…although that is important. I mean showing your gratitude to a colleague because they have helped you in a way that has made a real...
Noetic Nomad Prioritizing Purposefully
Is there really such a thing as a life’s purpose? Are we prioritizing our lives purposefully, or does life simply happen? Do we HAVE to be consciously aware of all things in order to be happy? Look at happy babies. Most babies before the age of becoming cognitively...
From Depression To Designing Your Dreams
Falling apart is not usually linked with something positive but maybe it should be. About 6 months ago I had a series of events that led me literally hit the wall and go SPLAT! I never thought it would be the unveiling of so many things that would change my life for...
Noetic Nomad Initiating Intimacy
Initiating intimacy can be terrifying. I’m not talking about procreation. Though certainly, it’s a topic that resulted in seven billion + people in our world. I’m talking about true intimacy. The sort that creates long lasting relationships. The sort that enabling...
The Eyes Have It
It has been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. I believe that. When I look into someone’s eyes, I can sometimes feel their soul and I can sense how they are feeling. I am not claiming to be a psychic or a mind reader. I believe that the eyes send messages...
That One Special Day
No one day creates such a drive to make changes as New Year’s day. Smoking will cease, sugar and chocolate ditched, gyms and various exercise plans developed as well as other types of changes decided on for this special day. Invariably for many, in spite of the...
Break The Rules Or Break Yourself
I consider myself a rule breaker. Growing up in a strict Indian environment there were many rules laid out for me. It’s expected that as an Indian woman, I should be conservative, quiet and live a life of servitude. I should not draw attention to myself – especially...
Noetic Nomad Elevating Energy
Elevating our energy to align with our highest purpose is such a compelling dance between the scientific world and the spiritual world. I try to imagine the global world and our quest for understanding who we are, where we came from and why we all want to know how to...
Will Artificial Intelligence herald a new era in human empathy?
We are entering a new age, an age when technology is set to take over many of the jobs and careers that were once seen as stable and secure. The new era has been labelled as the 4th industrial revolution and is likely to be the biggest jump yet in the way we use...
Noetic Nomad Creating a Loving Calm.
I like things in three’s. It’s a calm, loving, simple recipe for creating the life we all say we wish for. Calm is a vital pillar in personal development. Loving oneself is a second pillar. A third pillar is having a vision of your own life that is so clear, you will...
Homelessness
In the first part of this blog about homelessness, I discussed some of the causes and what we can do to help people who find them in this situation. Homelessness continues to be a worldwide issue. In this blog, I am going to discuss the cycle of homelessness and...
Authentic Leadership
In the midst of belief, when you are the only one in the knowing, it can feel like you are wondering in darkness, as everyone you meet doesn’t know your clarity. It is not a form of realisation for everyone to see. It is just a thought, a feeling, a deep sense of...
A New Year, a New Beginning?
A new year is always a good opportunity to reflect on the previous one. To look back and review what you have learned and how you handled the challenges life gave you. It is also an opportunity to set intentions for the coming year. And maybe this year, you can...
A Story of Redemption (Resilience)
Background On December 3, 2017 I suffered what they called a catastrophic injury breaking my right ankle while playing soccer/football, (for the purposes of this blog, this sport will be referred to in this way in order to be truly international). I broke my fibula...
Noetic Nomad Proposing a Repurposed PP
How can we craft a repurposed positive psychology? Our field created somewhat of a happiness monster. In truth? I find it a little annoying, not to mention more difficult for some people. I like the balance between the positives and the negatives. I don’t like...
What Is Positive Love?
Positive Psychology and Love To be or not to be in love? That is the question. Everyone knows love is good for you but what does positive psychology say about. Let’s kick start the process of love with some philosophical references such as Irving Singer (1984) who...
Self Determination
New Year, New You? January is typically a time for resolutions, reflection and new goals. Like many people, self regulation is near the bottom of my list of strengths, so self improvement can be a challenge!. Often, we know what we want to change but we just can’t...
Mixed emotions about the New Year: How ambivalence is a good thing after all
Some people love New Year with the promise of resolutions, a new beginning, renewed energy to do the thing that they meant to do last year. Others dread the long winter days, the dreary ‘down’ after the busy high of Christmas. This blog looks at the mixed (ambivalent)...
New Year. New Start: Does It Mean We have to Change Who We Are?
What does a new year mean to you? Does it mean a new start? It has been a long-standing tradition to make resolutions to change our habits from the previous year. It can feel like we are being forced to change who we are at the start of each new year. Because we are...