Following on from my last post on mid-life (https://www.thepositivepsychologypeople.com/focus-on-mid-life-in-21st-century/), this one is also about mid-life, but here I am focusing on the experience of how to feel alive, even when things are changing for us. It can be very easy to become caught up in anxieties and fear for the future, especially when changes are not expected. Yet it is in these moments of change that we are more alive than ever. There is no one way to be when our lives are in transition, but here I suggest a few techniques which may just help you hold onto some of the awe in the world.
How to feel alive
“I don’t think [the meaning of life] is what we’re seeking. I think [it’s] an experience of being alive so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” Joseph Campbell
The above quote is attributed to Joseph Campbell from the 1980s American series ‘The Power of Myth’. Campbell was a writer who studied mythology and religious texts for most of his life. He became an expert at understanding the patterns within stories which can be found across the many cultures and societies we humans have created for millennia.
Campbell argues that despite the belief that we are all searching for some sort of meaning in our lives, what we really want and need is what he calls the “rapture of being alive”. This is when you feel fully alive, and all your senses are piqued and firing. It is when you know that you are in the world, on your own path of existence, and you are part of life. For Campbell, the rapture of being alive is the adventure that we are all seeking, and once we understand what is alive within us, and what we need to do to spark that life, we can fully live. So even when times are tough we can still appreciate our life, especially if we have taken the time to tune into ourselves and find our bliss, the path which leads us towards feeling rapture.
Mid-life Transitions
In some ways, the mid-life adult has overcome many of the obstacles of life. We have usually settled into our careers, have settled down with a family, and life ticks along. Yet it is at mid-life that there is often a change which may come within or be thrown at us from outside. The outside might be a change in the family dynamics of children or spouses leaving, or parents becoming more dependent. Other times it is an inner change when you realise that you are no longer in tune with the life path you have been on. You might crave a career change or simply do something that you have always wanted to do (sky-dive anyone!). Many people try to ignore the feeling. They may fear the change that answering that call might create. Will they be able to cope with disrupting their lives? There’s no need to rush into big decisions (something I pointed out in my last post), but there are things you can do to reach that feeling of being alive.
Ways to feel alive
I would suggest the first thing you do is create what Joseph Campbell terms your ‘sacred place’. This is half an hour or so in the day, where you can go to a specific place and be with yourself. It is a place to be away from external pressures and demands and to be tuned into you. If you don’t stop and spend time with yourself you will not be able to really listen to your inner voice.
When you have cultivated some time to be with yourself, you can soon start to work out what will give you moments of rapture. It might be listening to music, reading a book, walking in your favourite location, taking up a craft, or joining a choir. What are those little things you just don’t give yourself the time to do that bring you joy? Unless you are paying attention to the things that wake up your senses you might miss the opportunities to feel rapture. This is all the more important when things are tough. Give yourself some moments of amusement and shake off the demands, even for five minutes. You cannot manufacture the feeling of rapture, but you can be present for it.
As you start to cultivate more alive moments, make sure you continue to tune into your inner voice. This will offer you more information on feeling alive. There are a number of ways to do this. You can engage in regular:
Mindfulness- A way to being fully present and noticing what you are doing, and how you are feeling. If you are dancing to some favourite music, notice how it feels to be swaying. What are the emotions you are feeling? Be fully present.
Savouring – Similar to mindfulness, but about really appreciating the experience or memory. Savouring can be for something in the past of present. Explore the moment by really looking deep into the feelings, sensations, and thoughts.
Gratitude-Thinking about how good it is that you have given yourself this moment. Thank yourself and anyone else who has enabled this moment to take place. Your family maybe, or friends, or simply thank the universe for the moment you are experiencing.
Awe-If you go for a walk and see a fabulous sunset or rainbow, stop and really let that feeling of awe soak in. Or if you are listening to music and you feel a chill down your spine because it moves you so much, hold that feeling and be with it.
You’ll notice that the suggestions, and previous posts I’ve written, tend to include moments of solitude, being present, and noticing what is. Throughout my time as a researcher, these are the things that seem to be the core of what it is to be alive. It’s not focusing on the doing and achieving, but the stopping and being. So I invite you to do something to feel alive!
Reference
Campbell, J. (1990). The Hero’s Journey: Joseph Campbell on his life and works. New World Library, USA
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