We often think that being in the dark is scary. As a light seeker, having travelled out and into the night many evenings with the hope of catching sight of the elusive Aurora Borealis, I have learned how to befriend the dark. The night may not be the void that we fear, more the home and heavens of a million stars. Staring into the night sky can be a wonderous thing. Recall your own experience.
The image above was one evening where once again I found myself staring deeply into a dark, night sky, observing and marvelling at the milky way. Suddenly the Northern Lights appeared and graced the sky with bands and striations of movement and colour. The sky now appeared even more remarkable than I had dared to imagine. We may fear being lost in the dark, but in truth might we also discover a vast otherness therein and what we refer to as the Universe. Maybe less of an absence and more a vast presence. Maybe less lost and ‘apart from’ and maybe more ‘a part of’ the whole.
Consider for yourself if you have ever stared into a vast dark night sky.
What was your experience?
And what did you discover?
How different might our lives be if we could approach all aspects of what we may deem to be ‘dark’ and fearful with more of an adventurous spirit and without trepidation?
The self to which we revert when feeling the pressures of life and work sees the world through a monochromatic lens, that is in very black or white terms. In needing to feel safe and therefore right in our judgments, we inherently judge this to be good and that to be bad.
Imagine instead if you were fearless, then there would be no need to judge. We would be much more accommodating, giving attention to both sides of the argument equally – embracing both sides of any potential conflict, aspiring to be unbiased in the face of the difference.
Think of something that may have recently instilled a strong judgment in you.
Imagine rather than rapidly judging the situation, that you were instead able to give your attention to both sides equally – the right and the wronged.
What would this offer you?
And what might you discover?
Play this scenario through for yourself.
Learning how to embrace difference and moving beyond judgment to a more unconditional space, offers the chance for us to come into relationship with both sides of the conflict. Not only does this build new awareness and foster a deeper understanding but may offer a much more considered resolution to the issue in hand.
In this way we can evolve our role from compulsive judge to unconditional mediator. The mediator can orchestrate a deeper exploration of difference and any conflict that we may face and reveal new depths to the argument in contrast to superficially judging.
Such embrace of both light and dark, right and wrong can profoundly expand our ability to relate and understand and ultimately more novel and insightful answers.
What we judge, we tend to dismiss and push away. With such temptation to rapidly judge, we can also automatically push away the major affairs of today as if we had no role to play or particular concern. Such judgment negates the value of ‘a difference of one’ – that you can essentially make a difference to conflict and indeed potentially wider societal affairs.
Consider what in your judgment, you have pushed away and have not yet considered.
Here is a list of some of the things that we may commonly judge and so turn away from:
• The poor and the growing inequality and inequity in societies and if and how we approach those living on our streets.
• Racial issues and the Black Lives Matter movement
• Catastrophe’s
• Wars
• Abuses.
Do we give these major personal and societal issues enough of our attention and consider what difference we might make placing possibility and value in ‘a difference of one’. In other words, if rather than rapidly judging, we were able instead to give these subjects our fuller attention. What we might we do to inform, influence and or bring about vital change?
May we resist the temptation to judge and become more of a natural mediator and be able to offer a more unbiased space to accommodate and appreciate difference.
May we take more time to consider our roles in issues of conflict wherein we can learn how to embrace difference providing deeper understanding and resolutions that carefully consider both sides equally?
May you discover the role that you may play in the larger issues within society and even in the world today.
Podcast Version