Pain, a part of your life

How do we see pain? Physical, mental, spiritual… there are all sorts of pain. While we may go through seasons of suffering, most of the time if pain is not fatal, we will survive and go through it.

A little depersonalization does no harm when one has failures and disappointments. A friend of mine went through a lot of surgery and pain, and I once asked him: how can you endure so much physical pain?

And he said to that: You know, I depersonalized myself. In other words, I didn’t let myself to sink in trouble. I didn’t think, I didn’t take the disease to the extremes, I didn’t consider it fatal.

As a result, he did not sink into his personal doubts, but he was able to look at himself from the outside with the help of depersonalization.

This technique is often not easy, especially when and where our media often bombard us with subtle messages of personification and identification. One may require superpower to get out of the charms of identity and ego, or a dose of ketamine!

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But you can manage it and thrive

Fortunately, there is a way out of pain with the help of Positive Psychology. Positive psychology can play a significant role in pain management by focusing on enhancing well-being, resilience, and overall quality of life. While it may not directly eliminate physical pain, it can contribute to a more positive mindset and improve the individual’s ability to cope with pain. Here are some ways in which positive psychology can be beneficial for pain management:

  • Mindfulness and Acceptance:

Positive psychology encourages mindfulness and acceptance, helping individuals become more aware of their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can be effective in reducing the perception of pain and improving overall well-being.[1]

  • Gratitude Practices:

Cultivating a sense of gratitude has been shown to improve mental well-being. Engaging in gratitude exercises, such as keeping a gratitude journal, can shift the focus from pain to positive aspects of life, promoting a more optimistic outlook.[2]

  • Resilience Building:

Positive psychology emphasizes resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity. Developing resilience can help individuals adapt to the challenges of chronic pain, maintain a positive outlook, and continue pursuing meaningful activities.[3]


Defeat is part of your life

One neglected area of development is that the school and the family do not prepare people and children for negative things in life. They don’t teach people how to get up after being knocked down.

Resilience and mindset reframing are very important techniques to be used under failing circumstances. I had a conversation about this with a teacher friend of mine and he told me that if students are loud and laughing in class, he is happy that the children are having a good time. I thought to myself, but they miss out on precious minutes of the curriculum….

The teacher: So, what? If they have the flu, won’t they miss it too?

Me: Well, how do we know they’re not laughing at the teacher?

The teacher: Well, please, why do you have to take things so seriously? You know paranoia is being treated in a mental institution.

And he was so right. He reframed the situation and turned something silly into something positive.


But you can manage it and grow

  • Mindset Transformation:

Positive psychology promotes a growth mindset, wherein individuals believe that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This perspective is crucial when facing setbacks, as it fosters a belief in personal agency and the potential for improvement.[4]

Example: Someone facing a health challenge may adopt a positive psychology approach by focusing on what they can control, such as adopting healthy habits and seeking medical advice. This mindset shift can contribute to a more optimistic outlook and improved overall well-being.

  • Enhanced Coping Strategies:

Positive psychology encourages the development of effective coping strategies, such as mindfulness, gratitude, and positive reframing. These techniques can help individuals manage stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions associated with life’s challenges.[5]

Example: When dealing with a relationship breakdown, positive psychology interventions may involve practicing gratitude for the lessons learned, maintaining mindfulness to stay present, and reframing the situation as an opportunity for personal growth. These strategies can contribute to emotional well-being and a smoother recovery process.

  • Social Support and Connection:

Positive psychology emphasizes the importance of social connections and support networks. Building strong relationships and a sense of community can provide a crucial foundation during challenging times.[6]

Example: Imagine an individual going through a period of grief. Positive psychology encourages them to lean on their social support network, share their feelings, and seek comfort from loved ones. The emotional support and connectedness fostered through positive relationships can significantly aid in the grieving process.


Life is not an escape room

You don’t have to escape from reality, because you must see that reality is constantly changing, the world is changing. And people struggle terribly against this. Throughout their lives, they conjure up stories of the past, “how good it was back then, and we want more of that” and flaunt the unreality of the future as they imagine and fantasize about the future. Instead of living the only reality: The now, the present!

Suffering and setbacks are part of life, choosing to run away from it will not work. It only postpones it, until it hits back in a fastidious way. Complaining will not change the situation, just like running back and forth between past and future will not change anything. Facing the “wild beast” and working with him for the common good is the way forward and upward.

If one accepts death and dying, he will satisfy the condition for coming into harmony with the world and oneself. This eternal struggle against time, aging and death, from plastic surgery to cosmetics, from clothing to fashion, through forms of behaviour creates terrible distortions in one’s life and creates terrible failures because NO ONE WILL SUCCEED. You must accept the normal cycle of life. And must realize that it is natural for a person to weaken over time, to lose many things over time, work, health, money, sexual potential, etc. because it is just the way it is.

Life is not an escape room. Here you don’t have to find clues to get out from somewhere, because as long as you are alive, words cannot harm you, since they are just that… words. Physical pain, if does not kill you, it can just make you stronger!



[1]       K. Cavanagh, C. Strauss, L. Forder, and F. Jones, “Can mindfulness and acceptance be learnt by self-help?: A systematic review and meta-analysis of mindfulness and acceptance-based self-help interventions,” Clinical Psychology Review, vol. 34, no. 2. 2014. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2014.01.001.

[2]       M. J. Kreitzer, S. Telke, L. Hanson, B. Leininger, and R. Evans, “Outcomes of a Gratitude Practice in an Online Community of Caring,” Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, vol. 25, no. 4, 2019, doi: 10.1089/acm.2018.0460.

[3]       B. Smale, J. Fowlie, and L. Becker, Building Your Resilience. 2022. doi: 10.4135/9781071892688.

[4]       K. Muff, “From ESG management to positive impact creation: The dual mindset transformation,” in The Handbook of Climate Change Leadership in Organisations: Developing Leadership for the Age of Sustainability, 2023. doi: 10.4324/9781003343011-3.

[5]       Diana Devis, “Coping Strategy: Definition & Overview -,” 2nd  edition .

[6]       A. R. Hosterman, N. R. Johnson, R. Stouffer, and S. Herring, “Twitter, Social Support Messages and the #MeToo Movement,” 2018.




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