Doing what you don’t want to do is a travesty. OK. Maybe that sounds just a little dramatic. But, I have recently been presented with the “opportunity” to assess if and when I am committing to others or other projects that are not in line with what I need to be doing for myself, my family, or for my business.
I recently heard a speaker ask the question: “Are you taking time for yourself or are you focusing more on committing to others?” This is how I answered in my head: “It is a real shame when others give so much to others and don’t make time for themselves or for what is important to them.”
Fast forward this morning when I was faced with a challenge of having to say, “No” to something. I used to think I had to quit something if it was really, really bad, painful, or harmful. Well, I am learning that saying, “No” to something doesn’t mean that it is bad or harmful. All it can mean is that it is not exactly right for me at this very moment. Here is an example: Volunteering for an organisation that is truly in line with your beliefs and it makes you happy to be able to give of yourself and your time to that group. When you look at your calendar, assess where you are putting your time and energy, you find that you haven’t made time for what is truly important to you and your goals.
What I have found is that when I am doing all of these great things, some of these great activities are distracting me from my bigger goal. I have my sights set on some very big goals and I am laying the groundwork for some exciting projects. With that said, I have been faced with the decision to remove a volunteer opportunity from my schedule. Making that decision was difficult. Old patterns reared their ugly heads once again…”You’re a quitter.” “What will the others say was the reason you quit?” “You’re being selfish.”
Be the best you
Saying, “No” to something that may just be a distraction from my higher priorities isn’t selfish. It allows me to be the best me that I can be.
Do you ever feel like you are pulled in multiple directions or that you just can’t seem to keep up with all of the demands that are placed on you? A sign that you are doing too much can be if your mind is never at rest and you are constantly thinking about what needs to be done for others.
Here’s a little test to see if you are doing too much for others: Take a look at your calendar and see if you have any blocks of time set aside just for you.
If you came up with “Na da,” “Zilch,” or a big, “Nope,” as your answer, perhaps it is time to make time for yourself.
To thine own self be true.
About the author: To find out more about Julie Ostrow, please click here.
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