Be the Creator of Your Own Story
As we go through big life transitions – and we all do – it can seem like the very foundations of our identity are shaken. Especially when a few changes come at once – and they do! Leaving education, parenthood, empty nesting, redundancy, divorce, menopause,…
Authenticity: To Be Or Not To Be Our Authentic Selves
Authenticity, like many important concepts, often gets oversimplified. Our desire for quick, easy solutions has given it a bit of a bad rep, but being authentic doesn’t mean you have to be yourself at all costs. Being authentic is about knowing who you are, what’s…
Applied Positive Psychology: Putting Strengths Into Action
We talk a lot about strengths in positive psychology coaching. This is because they offer a fantastic doorway into greater self-awareness, allowing a deeper understanding of who we are and what we want to be known for. They also help us recognise what motivates us,…
Preventative Actions: Being Prepared for the Downs and the Disasters
Preventative Actions: Being Prepared for the Downs and the Disasters It has been a while since I last posted about my Intentions and Preventions Model, developed to help me navigate the highs and lows of my future career and activities. The last few months have been…
Building Confidence The Positive Psychology Way
How can positive psychology help with confidence, isn’t it just about being happy? Wrong! Positive psychology is much more than a ‘happyology’. It is about focusing on the good in yourself, in the work you do and in the community around you. It is the scientific study…
Motherhood and Mental Toughness
It has been a while since writing a blog. Life happened. In the world of motherhood, sometimes you just need to ride the wave of life and see where it takes you. A while ago, my little one took heed to one of those viruses and we ended up in…
Positive Psychology For Managing Stress and Anxiety
You can listen to the audio version of this article if you prefer When positive psychology first arrived on the scene its mission statement was to help the average person move beyond ‘getting by’ and support them to actually flourish. But 25…
Working With Intentions
You can listen to the audio version if you prefer Knowing Your Values, Who You Are, And What You Want In my last blog I introduced the model Intentions and Preventions. I discussed how I had developed it to assist me in navigating my way into a new career in…
Quantum Positivity: Where Mind Meets Matter
In the vast landscape of scientific inquiry, two seemingly disparate fields have begun an intriguing dance: positive psychology and quantum mechanics. While one explores the heights of human potential and wellbeing, the other delves into the fundamental nature of…
Positive Psychology and the Absence of Freewill
The Impact of a Lack of Free Will on Positive Psychology Positive psychology, a field dedicated to understanding and fostering human flourishing, has gained significant traction in recent decades. It focuses on strengths, virtues, and factors that contribute to…
World Laughter Day: The Healing Power of Laughter
In a world that sometimes feels overwhelmed by serious news and challenges, moments of genuine joy and laughter have become more precious than ever. That’s why World Laughter Day on Sunday, May 4th, 2025 takes on special significance this year. This global…
How Does Being Kind Benefit You
You can listen to the audio version if you prefer How Does Being Kind Benefit You? We generally think of kindness as something we offer to other people but there is growing evidence to show that, in fact, there are benefits to you as well. Being kind has…
Introducing the Model: Intentions and Preventions
In my last blog (December 2024) I shared with you my intentions for 2025; to journey from Ph.D. into working within research. It is both daunting and exciting to start a new stage in my career, and these blogs will chart my journey, which I hope will also be of help…
Positive Psychology for Improved Employee Wellbeing
You can listen to the audio version if you prefer I often get asked what is Positive Psychology actually about? My go to response; rather than trying to ‘fix the bad’, Positive Psychology focuses on the good, building on that to make the most of our personal…
All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy
My journey into a career transition using positive psychology tools Listen to the audio version if you prefer. I am about to embark on a new chapter in my life. I’m reaching the end of my Ph.D. program and looking forward to a research career. But…
Positive Psychology In Dystopian Fiction
You may also listen to the audio version of this article Dystopian fiction, with its bleak landscapes and oppressive regimes, might seem an unlikely place to find inspiration and hope. Yet, within these dark tales, we often encounter characters who exhibit…
Dr Paul Wong RIP
It is with great sadness to report that Dr. Paul Wong has passed away peacefully, leaving a legacy that will continue to inspire generations. Known for his wisdom and compassion, Paul dedicated his life to exploring the human spirit, advocating for the importance of…
Bringing Balance Back Into Your Life
Balance doesn’t come easy, at least not to me, and just when you think you have things on an even keel, life happens! The pulls on our time and attention shift and evolve. Becoming self-employed this year has highlighted this for me. I no longer have a contract with…
Courage – Fear unmasked
Listen to the podcast version of this article In drawing this card, you are invited to explore the extent of your courage. More to the point, if you were to be the most courageous that you have ever been – how would your life change? What difference would being…
Choose to be original or copy
Listen to the podcast version of this article In drawing this card, you are invited to explore your originality. What is it that makes you – you? And different to anyone else – original. What distinguishes you from any other person you may know? What may…
Anxiety – The extent to which we stray from our essence
Listen to the podcast version of this article In drawing this card, you are invited to explore your anxieties. To face into, rather than turn away, from them. To explore how they may be able to guide you forward and what you may learn from this experience. The…
Positive Psychology and Artificial Intelligence : Ethical Implications and Potential Benefits
Introduction The convergence of positive psychology and artificial intelligence (AI) presents a compelling and potentially transformative field. AI’s capacity to process vast amounts of data, learn from patterns, and provide personalized recommendations offers…
Positive Psychology and Mental Illness
Introduction Positive Psychology has traditionally been aimed at moving those without mental illness from a state of languishing towards flourishing. In this blog I argue that it also has an important role in helping those struggling with mental ill health on their…
Embracing the Shades of Grey in a Polarized World
Embracing the Shades of Grey in a Polarized World In recent years, it feels as though the world has become increasingly divided. We see it in politics, in social issues, and even in our personal relationships. The lines between right and wrong, love and hate, for and…
Positive Psychology and Existentialism: A Reconciliation of Meaning and Acceptance
Introduction At first glance, positive psychology and existentialism might seem like an odd couple, like a bubbly cheerleader dating a brooding poet. One’s all about sunshine and rainbows, focusing on happiness and what makes life good, while the other ponders…
Emotional Recovery : Remembering To Honour Your Mind, Body And Soul
Ever felt that bone-tired exhaustion after a long day dealing with customers or supporting a family member in crisis? The emotional effort we exert with these tasks can be as draining as a full body workout but because it is ‘invisible’ we may not recognise the effort…
Toxic Positivity And Dealing With Negative Emotions
Recently online, I’ve noticed lots of talk about “Toxic Positivity” – so what is it, why is it bad for you, and how do we avoid it? What is Toxic Positivity and why is it bad for you? Toxic positivity can be defined as portraying a positive attitude or…
The Paradox of Perpetual Happiness: Embracing the Full Spectrum of Human Emotion
Happiness is often held up as the ultimate aspiration, a state of being that promises fulfillment and contentment. We are constantly bombarded with messages promoting happiness as the key to a successful life, from social media posts showcasing picture-perfect moments…
Let’s Stop Trying To be Happy
I know, not what you might expect from a positive psychologist but sometimes we need to step back to get a broader perspective. Whilst I love that the science of wellbeing has become increasingly mainstream, this does leave it at risk of over-simplification which can…
Challenge Yourself to a Healthy Future
As we age, it makes sense to prioritise our health and longevity. While many factors contribute to living a longer, healthier life, one of the most impactful is regular exercise. Research has revealed that regular physical activity in older adults can have as powerful…
The Cinnamon Trust: Helping Others Helps You Too
Today, we went on a dog walk, but it wasn’t just any stroll through the park! As supporters and volunteers of The Cinnamon Trust, we participated in the “Big Walk,” a nationwide event aimed at raising awareness and funds for this heartfelt cause….
How To Cultivate Hope In Your Life
It can sometimes feel like things constantly get in the way of our plans or goals. Perhaps there’s a job you dream of, but further study or money is an issue. Maybe there’s a competition you were destined to win, but ended up second place again. Or even a personal…
The Currency of Love and Happiness
In a bustling hall at the World Happiness Summit in London 2024, Dr. Arthur Brooks, a renowned scholar and speaker, captivated the audience with his profound insights on redefining happiness and love as the ultimate currencies of life. With a blend of wisdom and…
But How Old Do You Really Feel?
Have you ever been to a school reunion and met up with your former classmates who are the same age as you, give or take a few months? If so, you probably noticed the variety in how those people had aged – how they looked physically, how they dressed, how they…
Women on Reaching 60 and Beyond: What Will You Do with Your One Wild and Precious Life?
What Will You Do with Your One Wild and Precious Life? What would your answer be to this question? Gardening, jam making, crown bowling, reading books? Or perhaps you’re like many women who, out of necessity or choice, will continue working into their 70s and…
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Five
‘We see our world as we are conditioned to see it’ (Covey, 2013). Exploring Positive Psychology and Therapy over a long period makes you identify, analyse and reflect on your inner world with a greater awareness as you explore the depths of these domains. When…
Evolving Identities
This week I left my job. Something most of us have done at some point, but this time it wasn’t just the job I was saying goodbye to. I left my role as a housing professional after 25 years, and it has taken time to get my head around that! I knew I was nervous to…
Rebuilding Social Connection: Dr. Vivek Murthy’s Call to Action for a Happier, Healthier Society
For those who are not aware of what WOHASU is, I’ll start my writing with a link: https://worldhappinesssummit.com/ WOHASU is The World Happiness Summit, and it was created to bring awareness about the benefits of happiness and wellbeing. Or as Karen Guggenheim the…
Help Me, I’m Lost! WOHASU 2024
A last-minute ticket to the 2024 WOHASU event in London turned into an unexpected experience for me, one which I will treasure and reflect upon for many years to come. It’s hard to name a favourite speaker of the day, but the one who profoundly struck me was Alla…
No Ordinary Day! WOHASU 2024
Wednesday 20th March was definitely not any ordinary day. Firstly, I was in London on the Southbank for WOHASU 2024 (I will come back to explain this). Even though I once lived in London nowadays (I live between a caravan on the Kent coast and the forests of…
One Green Thing – WOHASU 2024
Heather White, the founder & CEO of OneGreenThing.org, addressed the World Happiness Summit (WOHASU) on how the climate crisis is impacting our mental health, leading to eco-anxiety, especially among young people. Many of us feel overwhelmed and unsure about how…
Why We All Need a Dose of RUM!! – WOHASU talk
Dr Amit Sood is a former professor of medicine at The Mayo Clinic and founder of the Global Center for Resiliency and Wellbeing. His Stress Management and Resiliency Training (SMART) model helps people understand the ways in which our brain functioning can be…
Junk Kouture at World Happiness Summit 2024
Troy Armour accidentally turned a personal hobby into what is now known as Junk Kouture, the global competition where more than 100,000 young people have transformed recycled materials into high fashion. At the World Happiness Summit (WOHASU) 2024 in London, Troy…
Life is a problem, and that’s good: Embracing, Managing, and Growing Through Pain
Pain, a part of your life How do we see pain? Physical, mental, spiritual… there are all sorts of pain. While we may go through seasons of suffering, most of the time if pain is not fatal, we will survive and go through it. A little depersonalization does no harm when…
Acceptance as a Foundation for Resilience
Introduction In this blog I hope to explore how awareness and acceptance of the messages our emotions bring us can influence our resilience. I contrast this with our natural tendency to resist, struggle with, control or rationalise our emotional experiences….
The Transformative Power of Positive Psychology in Healthcare: Nurturing Well-being for a Healthier Tomorrow
Introduction: In the ever-evolving landscape of healthcare, a paradigm shift has occurred, moving beyond the traditional focus on treating illness to a more holistic approach that emphasizes overall well-being. Positive Psychology, a field that emerged in the late…
A Hero’s Journey of Post-Traumatic Growth
Introduction What if everyone was born a hero? What if it’s just a matter of tapping into that potential? According to Joseph Campbell (1949), we are all heroes of our own stories. In Joseph Campbell’s book, ‘The Hero with a Thousand Faces,’ he…
Positive Psychology and Mental Health : Clearing The Path
The ethics of working with clients who are mentally unwell is a hot topic in the world of positive psychology and coaching. It can seem a grey space, especially as clients aren’t always aware of the differences between counselling, psychology, therapy or coaching or…
The Role of Character Strength in Resilience Development
Introduction Resilience attracted considerable attention and underwent substantial development in the 1970s, leading to a more profound understanding of the concept. According to Masten (2011), resilience has been observed in at-risk children with mental health and…
Introducing The Capstone Challenge
Hello, if we haven’t met before, I’m Lesley Lyle, a well-being therapist with a passion for sharing the science of happiness and personal growth. That also includes me – I’m also on my own journey of continuous self-improvement. Sharing My Personal…
Embracing Imperfection
I’ve always been the odd one out. A square peg in a sea of circles. Growing up, I never quite fit into the societal moulds neatly shaped for acceptance. But you know what? I’m all right with that. You may wish to listen to the audio version of this article…
Individual and Community Interventions
Third wave positive psychology and positive communities For this blog post I want to deviate away from focusing on the individual to reflect on what it might mean to apply a positive psychology intervention at the community-level. As a researcher and practitioner…
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Four
The power of habits While my baby daughter grows, each milestone is important and embeds the foundation of her emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual health. Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology stated when he searched what parents want the most for…
You have the right to know who is right
Listen to the audio version of this article In modern society, there is a prevalent emphasis on the left brain hemisphere, characterized by its logical, analytical, and rational thinking processes. This bias can be attributed to the prioritization of subjects and…
Building Your Psychological Safety
Listen to the audio version of this article This photo of a spider’s web, with one section in need of some serious renovation, resonated this month! Everything can be ticking along nicely then something, or someone, accidentally wanders into one of those flimsy…
Rising Above: A Tale of Positive Coping in the Face of Adversity
Listen to the audio version of this article The air hung heavy with the weight of uncertainty as I navigated the winding road of adversity. Life had a peculiar way of throwing curveballs, and the pitch was becoming increasingly unpredictable. Yet, within the ebb and…
Belonging, becoming the person you long to be
In drawing this card, you are invited to explore your belonging. Automatically, we go towards questions around belonging that include: “where do I belong”. But maybe belonging has more scope than knowing the outer place where we ideally may choose to live. The image…
Might the something more we strive to find, be who we long to become
In drawing this card, you are invited to explore more fully the person that you are becoming through your life and work. We often focus our attention much more on the ‘what’ we are doing which includes the goals we want to reach and what we wish to have. However, if…
What we accept in ourselves, we can accommodate in others
In drawing this card, you are invited to explore the nature of relationship and how your capacity to relate may be deepened. If we look to Nature and the photograph associated with these chosen words, we are taken to an evening beside the huge lake Inari in Finland….
Embracing Simplicity in Our Life
Do you sometimes feel like we live in a world where more equals better? More money, more clothes, more gadgets, more productivity, more growth, … It seems like a big part of our life is in fast-forward modus. We find ourselves entangled in the web of constant…
Evolutionary Psycho-Neurophysiology and Positive Psychology
Evolutionary Psycho-Neurophysiology and Positive Psychology: How our evolved brain can impact wellbeing. I am not a neuropsychologist. However, as a clinical and coaching psychologist, I share a number of insights with clients on the way the evolved brain can impact…
Averted Vision: How to Find What You Seek Without Looking
Have you ever tried to see a star in the sky and discovered that you can only see it when you shift your gaze away from it? This phenomenon is known as ‘averted vision’. I think it serves as a useful metaphor for what happens when we try to see clearly those things…
The Song That Transported Me
Have you ever been captured by the magic of a song? A song that transports you to another world, evokes intense emotions, and leaves a lasting impression on your soul? Twenty years ago, I was driving on the M3 motorway when such a song came on the radio. I was…
Global Spiritual Enlightenment – why we need it?
Listen to the audio version of this article In a world marked by rapid technological advancements, interconnectedness, and cultural diversity, the human desire to witness a global spiritual enlightenment is a natural and profound aspiration. While spirituality…
The Psychological Benefits of Volunteering
A personal perspective When I gave birth to my twins some 25 years ago, I told my husband “I want at least a year off before I think about going back to work”, and somehow that one year stretched into three. Then my third child arrived and the “going back to work” in…
Resilience, befriending suffering
Have you considered and or already realised what value there may be in befriend suffering? In drawing this card, you are invited to cultivate your resourcefulness and resilience as you go through life. Often the way we automatically think may be back to front. We…
Must we stray from the path, to recall our way
Many of us fear getting lost. And might avoid this experience it at all costs. But what if getting lost was just another natural aspect of being human and living our daily lives? If we were to view being lost not as something to be feared, but more as an opportunity,…
What to do when feeling stuck in your career
Listen to the audio version of this article. Bored with the tasks you do as part of your job? No energy to start any projects of your own? Not keeping up with what’s going on in your field? No longer finding your work challenging? If you find yourself answering…
Strengths: Getting Back to Basics
Listen to the audio version of this article. Journeys are best begun with an initial reconnaissance. We want to get our bearings, check out what supplies we have in our backpacks, decide on a destination. A self-development journey is no different and learning…
Goals and Circumstances – A Friendship
Listen to the audio version of this article. In life, we all have goals that we want to achieve. These goals can be big or small, short-term or long-term. But regardless of their size or scope, our goals are important because they give us something to strive…
Positive Psychology, Control and Wellbeing
Introduction In this blog I look at the role of control in our wellbeing and talk about my model of the things we can control with a practical example of how this might be used to support mental health. Is control good for us? Most of us like to feel in control. It…
“Don’t it always seem to go …
In 1970, Joni Mitchell recorded the song “Big Yellow Taxi,” which contained the immortal words, “ don’t it always seem to go, that we don’t know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone .” I think the lyrics referred to the…
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Three
Navigating motherhood for the first time is unknown territory and unique as each one of us is different. But to me the most gracious gift from the divine. My husband and I are mediums and we met in a spiritualist church. Therefore, my blogs will have the essence of…
A Dose Of Clarity In A Day, Keeps The Infodemic Away
Words put in action affecting your lifestyle, way of thinking and seeing the world? Have you ever wondered why? As the years and even decades are passing by, you wear different clothes, you have different hair style, you listen to different music and so on. Have you…
Positive Menopause; Taming The Dragon
By the time you get to your 40s and 50s you think you have a pretty good handle on who you are, then along comes menopause and everything can get turned on its head. It is a time in life that often involves considerable external pressures so it may not be obvious that…
The powerful self-question in midlife
The powerful self-question in midlife As a coach I used to think that powerful questions were ‘clever’ questions you learn by rote, but a powerful question emerges from the relationship, from being there with the coachee, curious and genuinely interested in their…
Do We Feed An Insatiable Appetite Or Soothe The Part That Hungers
In drawing this card, you are invited to look a little deeper into yourself. To consider who sits beneath your superficial awareness and how knowing this person may offer insight into what you may truly need. The words of the card talk about ‘feeding an insatiable…
Free From Logic, The Impossible Becomes Quite Plausible
This card invites you to recognise the limitation of overthinking and trying too hard to work things out and the wonderful opportunity that imagination and creativity offer you. The imagination can often be viewed and judged negatively as the ‘softer sister’ of…
What is Positive Psychology Coaching?
Introduction: In this blog I talk about one way in which Positive Psychology (PP) Coaching can be applied to help people live flourishing lives. I aim to explain what this might involve and when it might be helpful. An applied science PP has always been an applied…
Do What You Like or Like What You Do?
We are humanity and we are doers, we live by doing things. We start our day by looking into the mirror and wash our face or take a shower. We do this in order to help our body to wake up and get ready to move. And of course, to feel fresher and better. We then get…
10 Reasons to Enrol in the MA in Spirituality, Ecology & Mental Health
Here are 10 reasons why you might choose to enrol in MA in Spirituality, Ecology & Mental Health at Buckinghamshire New University. 1. Academic Excellence The program is offered by Buckinghamshire New University, renowned for its Centre for Positive…
Soul – That Which Longs To Live, Unhindered By Must, Should Or Ought
Consider how much the words ‘must, should, and ought’ impact and shape your current life. Do you always do, what you must, should, and ought? Consider this carefully and take time to respond. When we do what we ‘must, should, and ought’, we meet with expectation – the…
The Exit We Seek May Be An Entrance
I have always been interested in the symbolism of doorways. As a photographer, I loved taking photographs of different doorways that I am drawn towards and then I place the completed image on solid walls to create a new aperture, an imaginative way through and beyond…
Boundaries: Learning To Put Yourself At The Centre Of Your Decisions
Asking For What You Need Boundaries are not all about saying no to what we don’t want, equally important can be asking for the things we do, but that doesn’t always feel comfortable or easy. So how to do it? The answer is straightforward, you just have to practice,…
Might Darkness Lighten Our Way
We often think that being in the dark is scary. As a light seeker, having travelled out and into the night many evenings with the hope of catching sight of the elusive Aurora Borealis, I have learned how to befriend the dark. The night may not be the void that we…
Trying Less, Discovering More
The world can sometimes feel like a real effort as we strive hard to be better. Whether we seek a bigger home, a better job, or to have more for ourselves and or our family. Striving seems to be central to our everyday life and work. Wanting and having seem to be key…
Mid-life Transitions: How to feel alive
Following on from my last post on mid-life (https://www.thepositivepsychologypeople.com/focus-on-mid-life-in-21st-century/), this one is also about mid-life, but here I am focusing on the experience of how to feel alive, even when things are changing for us. It can be…
Stillness Moves
All of us want to change and grow, but how do you enable this prospect? What are the times when you have grown the most in your life? Take some moments to name these times if you will… Consider what has been essential to your growth during these times. What vital…
World First MA Spirituality, Ecology & Mental Health
I’m really excited to share some information about a fabulous new Masters’s degree course that starts this September at Buckinghamshire New University. Headed by my friend and colleague Lee Newitt, this will be the first ever MA in Spirituality, Ecology…
The Story Of Dopamine
“Hello there, how do you do? My name is Mr. Facebook, I’m sure you know me. Look, do you wanna check your new notifications, perhaps scroll through interesting feeds?” “Don’t listen to him! He is distracting you. Instead listen to me, my name is Instagram, and I’m…
Knowing What Locks, Frees
In taking this photograph of the Northern Lights I had to scramble in the dark across rocks to get a good shot. Though at first the rocks were an unwanted and challenging obstacle, in the resulting photograph they take their place and are an essential aspect of the…
Five Considerations to Help Navigate Meaning & Purpose in Mid-life
You may have heard of the term ‘midlife crisis’. As people approach their mid-thirties or forties, it’s quite common to experience a phase of deep reflection, introspection, and evaluate one’s accomplishments in life. Quite often people start to question whether it’s…
About MSc Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP)
The Master of Applied Positive Psychology course, MAPP, is of interest to a wide range of individuals of all ages who are looking to learn more about positive self-development as well as professionals working in the fields of coaching, education, healthcare, and…
Why Kindness Counts
A good piece of news from the 2023 World Happiness Report is that rates of kindness are increasing. This was judged by more people having helped a stranger, donated money or goods or taken part in volunteering compared to data from previous years. In this blog I take…
Kindness 2.0
Kindness 2.0: going beyond the feel-good factor to true compassion. As an associate lecturer at Buckinghamshire New University one of my favourite parts of the job is marking one of the first assignments on the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology course. Students…
The Qualities of Qualitative Research
Often qualitative research is seen as second best to quantitative research. It doesn’t give us numbers that we can analyse and compare. It does not translate well into headlines. It is more complex, more time-consuming to analyse and results may be more ambiguous….
Can We Thrive When We Are Lonely?
Let’s talk about loneliness. What does it mean to be lonely? Why do we feel it? Are there any good things about being and feeling lonely? People sometimes do feel lonely, but when ‘sometimes’ becomes ‘most of the time’ is what worries us. Right? Abe Maslow said that…
Vulnerability – The Lost Piece That Completes Our Jigsaw
In the moment I took this photograph, the Northern Lights appeared to adopt an unusual shape in the sky, not unlike that of a jigsaw piece. This left me contemplating what if life were a jigsaw? What would be the ‘picture on the box’ and if and how do we piece…
Perfection – The Only Goal We Complete After Life
Let’s start with a question: If, and how well, do you know the perfectionist in you? For many years I have worked as a coach enabling others to deepen knowledge of themselves and to make vital developmental choices fostering growth whilst developing a growing sense of…
We Live Superficial Lives, Longing For Depth
How much of our lives do we live on the surface? Presenting only a fraction of who we really are to the world outside and those we meet? When we become busy and feel the pressures of the world, we commonly experience the emotions of anxiety, fear, and frustration and…
How to Remain Empathetic During Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of life, whether it’s resolving a conflict with a loved one or consoling a friend in distress. These conversations are emotionally charged which makes them tricky to navigate in the heat of the moment. A key skill that…
True Power Is Realised In Letting Go Of Control
When I took this photograph the Northern Lights were strong and powerful and were being brought to earth, or earthed as if there was some huge lightening conductor. I recall musing about power as I took this image and then the phrase of words came that I am now…
Living Life Through Flow Not Force
Wouldn’t it be nice to feel like you are living life through flow? How great would it be if things just fell into place, with minimal effort on your part? Imagine the peace, the joy, the gratitude of a life like this. Let yourself imagine it for a moment. Let yourself…
Focus on Mid-Life in 21st Century
Mid-life now in the 21st Century is a much different experience to that which our parents and grandparents experienced. Mid-life is broadly considered to be between the ages of 40 and 65 years of age. Many of the adult development theories we still rely on to define…
Inspired by – Diary of a CEO with Steven Barlett, Part 2
This second episode looks at the themes of happiness from Steven Bartlett’s diary of a CEO
Finding The Answer Be Relinquishing The Search
Our lives may often feel problematic because we are largely engaged in getting to the answer. The self to which we most commonly revert, especially when under pressure, is an avid problem solver. Rapidly seeking to judge right from wrong, this is black and that is…
Inspired by – Diary of a CEO with Steven Barlett, Part 1
The inspiration for this podcast is Steven Bartlett, CEO. Houseworking strategy I listen to podcasts or desert island discs when I’ve got practical jobs like housework and other DIY things to do. I find it’s an effective way to tackle chores,…
Wisdom – Intelligence Of Whole Unhindered By What We Know In Part
We all wish to be wise and place enormous value on those around us who show wisdom. But what is wisdom? And are we able to find it? Without doubt, most of us may spend our lives searching. The photograph of the Aurora Borealis shows a vast Northern Lights show that…
To Quicken, First Slow
A key theme that may be emerging is How often do we take time to rest in our daily working lives? Do our homes have sanctuary spaces – where we can ‘put up our feet‘– reflect, contemplate, and restore? The little red boat in the associated image has found its own bay,…
Remembering to Uncurl: Your Parasympathetic Nervous System
The world moves so quickly. It’s not surprising that our minds and bodies can sometimes struggle to keep up. Evolution takes a long time. A really long time. We often forget because our brains are wonderfully plastic and constantly adapting but some parts still…
Lessons from Positive Psychology
First of all, let’s clarify what positive psychology is not, as it’s commonly misunderstood. Smile, think happy thoughts, be positive and never give up. While there are benefits to those suggestions, we must be cautious of toxic positivity as it’s much more complex…
At The Heart Of Winter The Promise Of Spring
One of our themes through a ‘Guiding Hand’ is how much we can learn about human nature from Nature herself. And not unlike Nature, we may too experience ‘seasons of self’’. Consider the times when it feels like you are experiencing your own Winter when you feel…
Jo Sunshine – Applying Positive Psychology in Art
I’d like to introduce you to Jo Sunshine, a very aptly named artist. In my opinion, she is a role model for what the theory of positive psychology looks like when applied to the everyday life of a person. Her spirit shines through her artwork and in her attitude to…
How to Hold Space -to be Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally Present
Life is never a straight line. There is no one perfect recipe to create a perfectly happy life. Sometimes everything is great, and we are in a flow, enjoying everything we do and sometimes we feel like we are standing still and maybe even going backwards. Life is a…
Positive Psychology – Moving Forward
Following on from my colleague Lisa Jones’ blog (January 2023), I want to consider further the recent paper by Carol Ryff (2022) “Positive Psychology: Looking back and looking forward.” From its inception, PP was intended to redress the historical focus on the…
The Power of VIA: Signature Strengths
Whilst most people are acutely aware of their weaknesses, few can accurately name their strengths but we all have them! The VIA Institute On Character offers a free online survey that will help you discover your greatest strengths to unlock your potential. It will…
Silence Fills As We Empty
The world in which we live, and work can be a busy and noisy place. This distracts our attention, and we become unfocused, unclear, and dispersed. It’s important to remember that our quality of attention determines how we see, for whatever we attend to, we bring into…
Building a Career In Fulfillment
Have you ever wondered why do we have to work? What is work and why does working seem so natural in every country in the world? Is it normal, natural, and healthy? We were part of the jungle, not too long ago. I say not too long ago, because 30 or 40.000 years is not…
In The Dark Confines Of The Chrysalis We Hatch Our Wings
How many times do we find ourselves in the darkness? Statements like ‘I am a little in the dark’, are not uncommon when we are feeling lost and unsure of the way forward. As a ‘Light Seeker’, one wishing to experience and photograph the Northern Lights, I am very…
Lessons From Positive Psychology in my Life
Positive psychology has helped me better understand my past and enabled me to see endless opportunities for learning, in myself and others. Since taking the time to reflect, I’ve felt less regretful when looking back on my life and much more hopeful when looking…
The Liberation of Abandoning All Adjectives
Isn’t it nice when we get a compliment? It can give us a boost, somebody’s noticed us or noticed what we’ve done. A compliment is an expression of admiration, respect or approval and typically it leaves us feeling valued. However, my eyes were recently opened to a…
How to Form a Happiness Project Group
A happiness group is where a group of people gets together and discuss a range of topics that affect their day-to-day happiness including definitions of happiness, goal accomplishment, habits, mindfulness and personal values. We spend enough time worrying about how we…
How do we get in our own way?
As a coach and psychotherapist, I have had the privilege of working with folk from across the world in different cultures, who all collectively aspire to grow and develop. There is one question that appears to emerge in almost every conversation, which either sits in…
The Vital Other.
I am a man who values his own space, partly maybe because I was born a twin. However, I am continually humbled by the realisation of a truth of development – that we develop through vital others. At key points in my life, sometimes almost magically, someone has…
How Disney can help turn your dreams into reality
You might wonder how Disney could turn your dreams into reality but the Disney Creativity Planning Strategy is a problem-solving and creative thinking technique developed by Robert Dilts and Todd Epstein based on the process used by Walt Disney and his team. Here is…
Staff Wellbeing: Lessons From A Global Pandemic
Acknowledging the value of staff wellbeing has come a long way in the last few years. The pandemic bought the topic into sharp relief and did much to convert policies into practical action. There was a genuine need to check in with isolated employees to make sure they…
The Problem With ‘Goals’ and Why Focusing on Your Values Will Help.
When I was a new mother some 20+ years ago, Gina Ford published ‘The contented Little Baby Book” outlining her strict daily routines for parents and babies to follow, based on her experience as a maternity nurse. Opinions on the book split the world of new parents….
How to be a Positively Psychology Deviant!
For this post I wanted to reflect on a recent article by Carol Ryff ‘Positive Psychology: Looking Back and Looking Forward’ (2022) which is a timely and needed article about the state of research and the need to expand its focus into the inequalities, greed, and…
Climate Anxiety and Positive Psychology
Introduction Most of us will have seen the coverage of the COP 27 summit on climate change in November 2022. Our news feeds are full of reports of extreme weather events and the impact they are having on the planet, nature and people. This crisis threatens the whole…
Self-Compassion Cultivates Courage in Athletes
Having self-compassion is the ability to recognise our own suffering and take action to comfort and care for ourselves. Traditionally, some may think that this is the road to complacency, but research from Kristen Neff (2011) shows us that it is the road to…
When Unexpected Things Happen
Due to circumstances, and the unexpected things that have happened, I am forced to now follow the advice I usually give my clients! As the year draws to an end, this is usually a good time to reflect on everything that happened and look forward to what the future…
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Two
In part one, Transitioning into Motherhood, I explored my pregnancy journey. This blog – December 2022, marks the first anniversary of the death of my beloved cat Bella. She was part of our family for eleven wonderful years and this blog honours her memory. Bella…
Wellbeing At Christmas: The Three Gifts of Mindfulness, Balance and Compassion
Love it or hate it, Christmas is upon us once more! As I get older I find myself more often in the ‘love it’ camp but I still have to watch that I don’t let things don’t slip over into ‘The Season of Too Much’. If I do, I start to feel overstretched and it can become…
Honesty Equals Health and Happiness
So many of us do not speak or live our truth with honesty. We might think that it’s no big deal. Sometimes it is OK or even necessary to put on a happy face, to keep your cards close to your chest, to just keep quiet and muddle on through for a bit. But, doing this…
Connecting Through Stillness and Silence
“The more space we give to stillness and silence, the more we have to give both to ourselves and to others” – Thich Nhat Hahn “A poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare” – W.H. Davies The late Thich Nhat Hahn was a wise person indeed. He…
Flourishing – What Does it Mean to Flourish?
To promote flourishing is a key target of Positive Psychology (PP). In this blog I hope to look at what is meant by the term flourishing and how theory and research about the concept are developing. I highlight the debates and challenges and ask how you might look at…
How Understanding Your Strengths Can Liberate You From Perfectionism
Character Strengths An important topic in the field of positive psychology is the study of strengths. The basic idea is that we are all different and have different strengths – thoughts, feelings or behaviours that come naturally to us and give us energy and a sense…
Managing Boundaries at Christmas
Guess what? Disney Christmas only exists in films. If that’s a blinding glimpse of the obvious to you then you need to read no further but for those of us who struggle every year with the concept of what we’d really like to do and what we feel obliged to do, read on…
Seasons of Life – Seasons of Emotions
Today I would like to explore positive emotions by using the analogy of the seasons. For those of you who have read my previous blogs, you will know my calling to help people to increase the amount of positive emotions they experience. This is because there are so…
Just Keep Going, Don’t Give Up!
When I look at many successful people in life, be they successful on the grand stage or in their private lives, whether they run a multi-million-pound business or they have the happiest and most wholesome marriage, one thing that they seem to have in common is this:…
Reframing Change: Staying Resilient As Life Happens
This September my daughters left for their first term at university. They are twins so milestones arrive in duplicate. No dipping toes into changing family dynamics for me; it’s a head first dive into an empty nest situation, and it has churned up a lot of emotions….
Transitioning into Motherhood – Part One
In June 2022, I gave birth to my first child at 42 years of age. The pregnancy was deemed high risk from the start due to my age and I needed to draw on the skills I acquired during my studies on MSc Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP). The medical profession has to…
Mental Health – What it really looks like
Where do you think you might be on the mental health spectrum today? (don’t worry it changes regularly) just today…are you struggling or thriving? unsettled or excelling? It’s important to really stop for a while and connect with what you’re thinking and feeling to…
Stop, Pause and Reflect
When I give webinars or training on topics about wellbeing, communication or leadership I often share my mantra of “stop-pause-reflect.” Usually, the people in my audience all have a very busy schedule and they feel as if they are putting out fires all day long….
Satisfy Your Soul, Not Society
Satisfy your soul, not society – I borrowed this title; it was a quote I saw on social media and it really resonated with me. I think this is not only my life’s ambition – to satisfy my soul, but it’s also why so many people are not happy and healthy in their…
Mappy Birthday!
Congratulations to Bucks New University as this year was the 10th year of their Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP). I was fortunate to be a member of their very first cohort and I feel gratitude for having Applied Positive Psychology come into my life. Like…
Finding Well-being in Nature
Introduction Contact with nature has long been thought to have positive impacts on well-being. In recent years this effect has been researched systematically. I hope to give you a brief overview of what has been found, discuss the mechanisms that might underpin these…
Keeping Positive When You Are Not Well
I had just given my first ever group coaching event looking at wellbeing and resilience in the workplace when I came down with a short illness. Nothing serious, a chest infection that dragged on, leaving me exhausted and aching. The usual activities that frame my day…
The Misconception About Introversion And Extroversion: Enjoying Alone Time
There is a common view that introverts don’t like interacting too much and would rather spend time alone, whilst extroverts spend all their time socialising and hate being alone. Is this a simplistic view of these personality traits? Could there be more to understand…
Do you hold yourself back in life?
Many of us want to live fully. We want to express ourselves and taste the many delights that this world has to offer. Like an eager child, we want to go forth into the world, to explore, to experiment, to play, to dive in. But equally, many of us don’t actually do…
Starting A New Job In The Post-Covid Workplace
The company I work for went through a merger this month and I’ve been planted into a new role. In many ways it is very similar to my previous position but with any new organisation comes new ways of doing things; new policies, new procedures and crucially a new…
Positive Psychology and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Introduction In this blog I aim to give you a brief overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/Training (ACT), outline why I believe it is very compatible with Positive Psychology (PP) and look at how the two approaches might complement each other. What is…
Are You Curious And What Are The Benefits of Curiosity?
What is curiosity? Why are we curious? What makes us curious? Psychology has a few answers to these questions, for instance, there are studies that show that curiosity may arise when we observe discrepancies (Berlyne, 2006), or when we perceive gap in our knowledge…
The Qualities of Qualitative Research
Often qualitative research is seen as second-best to quantitative research. It doesn’t give us numbers that we can analyse and compare. It does not translate well into headlines. It is more complex, more time consuming to analyse and results may be more ambiguous….
Dancing Your Way to Happiness
Dancing my way to happiness It was nearly nine years ago when I first walked into a modern Jive class. “ I want to learn to dance,” I said, “You’ve come just to the right place” came the reply. Little did I know then just how much dancing would change my life and the…
The Light Life Applied to Mental Illness
30% of the population lives with mental illness. That’s a statistic shared with me in an early 2000’s introduction to positive psychology. Today, Johns Hopkins reports that 26% of Americans suffer from a mental illness. Globally, it is reported that 11-18% of the…
Feedback and its bad reputation
Being able to give and receive feedback is considered to be one of the skills every good leader should possess. It is important because it promotes the professional growth and skills of employees, and it can create a greater sense of job satisfaction in the workplace….
Relaxing Your Way to Success
Relaxing is usually seen as luxurious downtime, rest time, recuperation time. It’s the lazy Sunday afternoon or the chilled-out beach holiday. It’s when you switch off and tune out, let go and release, mentally, emotionally, and physically. But it only happens here…
The Light Life Applied to Darkness
What happens when we use applied positive psychology on the darkness in the world today? This is something I’ve been contemplating for several years now. While working with people who were truly suffering, I attempted to apply positive psychology. I was in a…
Love Your Negativity Bias
What is your negativity bias and why do you have one? Your negativity bias is an evolved function whose purpose is the keep you alive. This means you are hard-wired to notice and act on negative information more than positive information. By noticing the dangers in…
Together Alone: Being By Yourself and With Yourself
You may be thinking that the two words ‘together’ and ‘alone’ are an odd two words to put together. I’ve put them together for this post to emphasise the need to know ourselves and be comfortable in our own company. In today’s contemporary world we have little time to…
The Light Life Leans on Languishing
The light life leans on languishing. The NYTimes recently published an Adam Grant article about how so many of us are languishing as a result of the relentless pandemic. Of course, once one major news source picks up a key concept, a flood of others follow suit. So?…
How to be Happy: Four Myths Debunked
The question of how to be happy, and how to live a good life has been kicking around for aeons. Back to when the Ancient Greeks were shooting the breeze in Athens, debating what type of happiness was best, there are written records of people discussing happiness and…
Becoming a Positive Psychology Practitioner
From Student To Practitioner I’ve always loved transitions. Moving from one place to another, starting things, packing up. It is a time full of potential and I relish the change. I’m meeting new people and feel buoyed up by optimism. It’s energizing. In my current…
Are You Joking?
Seriously… I’m not being ironic, I’m asking you, are you joking? Because why wouldn’t or shouldn’t you be joking? We know that being funny is not only good for those who are laughing at us but we the joker benefit from it as well. Humour is there for all ages, all…
Mindfulness and Meditation Revisited
Introduction Mindfulness and meditation are two of the most prolific terms in Positive Psychology and often the most misunderstood. I have not written a blog specifically on this topic since my very first one in 2017, so I thought it was time to revisit the…
The Light Life Gets Personal
The light life gets personal. It’s hard to imagine that 2007 was fifteen years ago, but that’s how long I’ve been in the positive psychology business. First, as a doctoral student, then university teacher, and finally, as a mental health coach. I…
Why using your local shops is good for your Mental Wellbeing
Did you know using to your local shops may improve your wellbeing? A few years ago I made a decision to stop using the major supermarket in the town and start using the local shops instead. There were a couple of reasons for this; I felt quite strongly that suppliers…
The Art of Observation
Allow me to take you by the hand and pull you back from the world and introduce you to the art of observation. Let’s retreat a little. Now, from afar, let’s look at what’s going on. Can you see it? The chaos? The confusion? The noise? The fear? Also, the hive of…
The Light Life Love
How deep is your love? Do you love yourself? How about your metaphorical neighbors? Your parents or family? The stranger on the bus, trying to make their way home? Humans are disconnecting from each other through our labels, categories, and fundamental belief…
Appreciative Inquiry in Coaching.
Why use Appreciative Inquiry in your coaching practice? We have so many positive psychology interventions to choose from, so why would we choose appreciative Inquiry (AI)? Positive psychology has a close relationship with AI, both start at a positive standpoint and…
Is Remote Working Damaging Workplace relationships?
Remote working is damaging workplace relationships, here’s how to tackle it The pandemic has created a seismic shift in the way in which people work. Both employers and staff are in a difficult period of fear and uncertainty. For employers, there is a lack of…
Are you Feeling the Pressure of Aloneliness?
Are you feeling the pressure of aloneliness? How to recognise it and take action It’s the New Year and most people will have had a whirlwind of a Festive season. The level of busyness cranks up for many and there is very little time to be truly alone- even in these…
Making and Breaking Habits – How to Reprogram our Lazy brains.
New Year’s resolutions. It’s traditional on New Year’s Eve to make New Year’s resolutions. People promise themselves they will lose weight, drink less, quit smoking or start exercising. If they are lucky, they might keep up their new year’s…
The Light Life is Holistic Healing
The Light Life is going to focus on the science of holistic healing for 2022. I am a firm believer in energy work. It is both scientifically backed and quantifiably verified. So why then, do so many people in the psychology industry, rebuke the effectiveness of the…
Values, Strengths and Goals: How do they work together?
In this blog I talk about what we mean by values, strengths and goals and how these can optimally work together to promote flourishing. Values Values are the things that really matter to us, our compass bearings for who we want to be in life and what we want to stand…
The Light Life is Curious
This journey into our 2022, the light life is curious. But I’m also wary, which makes for an eclectic mix of questions at this juncture in the journey through our positive psychology. The parts of ourselves that were rattled with grief, remain pain points for…
The Light Life Diamond Sky
Rhianna has a song that reminds us all to, “Shine bright like a diamond in the sky …” encouraging her listeners to be the glow up of their own choosing. All the challenges in the world can’t take your light from you, but they sure do try from…
Why Positive Energy at Work Matters.
Have you ever worked with a negative person, a chronic complainer who always points out why things are not going to work, often called a naysayer? And have you felt how this affects your mood and drains the energy in you and your team? You have probably come across…
Transforming Yourself From Caterpillar to Butterfly
The caterpillar Eat, sleep, repeat. You are what you are. You don’t even slightly resemble a butterfly. You are wonderful and unique in your own right, you are life, but you’re only ever going to crawl around on the ground. The human as a caterpillar is…
The Light Life Energizes
The light life energizes us to be open to living our best life. But, that’s not the only way to be. Have you ever felt like you don’t have any energy left? 2021 drained a lot of people of a lot of energy. We were tested with healing on multiple levels this year. …
The Four Different Attachment Types in Relationships.
The four different attachment types and what this means for relationships. Attachment theory says that for their social and emotional development, children need to form a relationship with at least one primary caregiver. This attachment normally develops through four…
Why Positive Education Matters
Positive education interventions are very slowly making their way into some mainstream schools and colleges. However, there are very few that offer a whole-school approach. Notable ones are Wellington College, an independent school in England and Geelong Grammar in…
Pride and Prejudice Review – Positive Psychology Book Club
Welcome to the new series of Positive Psychology Book Club! Each month I will review a fairly recent work of modern contemporary fiction through a positive psychology lens – announcing the book we are reading and giving you a month to read it in advance….
How Positive Psychology Can Help us to Cope in Difficult Times
When life deals you Lemons… Positive Psychology has sometimes been described as what takes us from OK to great – but what happens when something knocks us sideways and we are finding it hard to cope? There are times when things just aren’t going right for us and no…
How to Have a New Experience Without Leaving Your Chair!
Really we don’t need to always be out and about having a new experience; we can create our own simply by expanding our imagination and our access to new words. In this post, I aim to show you how that can be done. As I continue my research into what it means to be or…
The Importance of Boundary Setting for Optimising Positive Emotions
‘The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefitting from you having none’ I have seen the above quote a few times on Facebook. I usually write in line with empirical research regarding Positive Psychology, but…
The Light Life Honors the Shadow
In our work, we must not forget to honor the shadows. Life is not always full of light and love, nor is it full of shadows or darkness. The balance sways in one direction or another over the course of our lifetime. On any given day, we could be weathering a storm…
Fierce Self-Compassion
My favourite Positive Psychology book of the year (so far) is “Fierce Self-Compassion” by Dr Kristin Neff. Self-Compassion is one of my key areas of interest and in this blog, I hope to outline the new insights into this concept described in the book and how they…
Living Your True Nature and Purpose
Do you feel lost? Confused? Dissatisfied with life? Why are you here? Who are you? How are you meant to live? What are you meant to do? Why don’t you feel happy with your life? Well, I can’t guarantee that I have THE answers to these complex, existential questions….
The Light Life Warm Fuzzies
Our world needed the warm fuzzies by the 1990’s, but, do we need something more now that it’s almost 2022? I’ve been a fan and advocate, teacher and practitioner of the positive psychology movement since 2007. We have changed how the world works. We’ve watched our…
Why Are we Rubbish?
What does the state of our rubbish say about our relationships with ourselves, our communities and our planet? Why is it that some people take pride in how they leave places that they visited and others could not care less? What impact do these different values and…
Positive Education – Live It
We travel in this world in our bodies, it is our temple and it needs the right nourishment to do all the wonderful things it is capable of doing. The mind-body connection is constantly bringing new depths of research to help us navigate our way to flourishing. I…
Support and Tools For Personal Growth
Wanting the best for those we care about is a very common trait. We try to support those around us, helping them on their path, providing them with support and encouragement. This can often be very successful and we see those we care about grow in confidence as they…
The Never Ending Search for Beauty
What will make us truly happy? There is a lot of pressure in the media to look beautiful. Do we just age gracefully and accept the inevitable impact of time or do we want to make the best of our body and brains? How do we judge what is acceptable and what is not? Are…
Loneliness or Solitude? It depends on your point of view!
As a loneliness researcher, I am interested in the history and meaning of the word. Did you know there is no specific word that means the opposite of loneliness? This is intriguing in itself! Just to add to the mix, if you compare the word solitude with loneliness you…
The Light Life Flow Up
To Flow up is to glow up. I love pop culture references in synergy with the positive psychology terminology. When we glow up, we are reinventing ourselves in the best of ways. I’ve decided to reinvent the reinvention and call my own journey a ‘flow…
How Comparisons Affect our Happiness and Psychological Wellbeing
Racing for gold Imagine yourself performing your favourite sport in the Tokyo Olympics – maybe a running event. You’ve worked hard, trained for it, you’re ready for the big day. On the day, it gets off to a good start, you race hard, and it goes better than expected….
Using Positive Psychology in Practice to Manage a Challenge
PP in Practice In this blog I’m aiming to describe how I used a range of PP strategies in real-time to help me cope with a minor drama and look at the ways in which they helped. I also look at how this is different from the way in which I might have responded in the…
The Light Life in Transitions
Life is a series of transitions. It skips a beat sometimes. Whenever we have a legal holiday on a Monday, I spend all day Tuesday, thinking it’s Monday. Today, is such a day. When we’re going through transitions, our routine has hiccups. My decision to…