by Julie Ostrow | December, 2015 | Community, Julie Ostrow, Positive Psychology, Relationships, Uncategorized
What does it mean to ‘go home’? I recently had the opportunity to visit the town where I grew up. I haven’t lived there in decades, yet, I visited two weekends in a row. One weekend was reconnecting with the past—my high school reunion. The following weekend was spent sharing my present—leading an improv workshop at the Grand Rapids Improv Festival and being interviewed on a local morning show. Funny thing…and believe it or not, I was somewhat shy in high school. I didn’t take a single acting class or ever performed on stage in high school. Yet, decades later, I appear on TV and teach an improv workshop in my hometown. Attending my high school reunion brought unexpected connections and friendships. New and renewed friendships. Classmates I was friends with before are now in my life again. We shared laughter and stories of old and new. It felt like I never left-sort of Having been away from Grand Rapids, Michigan through the years left me with a constant longing for home. Being uprooted after my freshman year of college and embarking on an adventure to Raleigh, North Carolina with my mom and dad, this youngest of six was forced to make a home wherever she was. Moving from a Midwestern town to a Southern town was a culture shock for this once 18-year-old. I was told I talk funny by people from all over the Southern United States. For those of you not aware, just like there are different Midwest accents—from Illinois, Michigan, and Minnesota—there are various Southern accents—from the mountains to the beach of North Carolina, Georgia,...
by Lynn Soots | November, 2015 | Relationships, self-development, Strengths, Uncategorized
Back in Canada, I knew a lovely Spanish lady whose kids were in the same school as mine. We were talking about parenting one day, and she said the secret to a happy life was to raise children with all your heart and expect nothing in return. It sounded like wise advice, and given the genuine peace and joy that she radiated, I decided to use her words as my own True North. In the years since, it’s not been a perfect journey by any means, but for the most part I’ve managed to hang in there. Lately though, I’ve begun to wonder whether the advice now needs a bit of tweaking. Human Doubt We all have our share of moments where we question what we do. For me, one such moment was a couple of weeks ago. I had been feeling unwell, and not seeing the level of care and compassion from my children that I would’ve wanted, I began to feel rather hurt. Give the mind an inch and it’ll take a mile. It took advantage of a weak moment and instantly presented me with a legal case of my endless giving and their general ingratitude. Needless to say, the hurt soon turned into anger. True, they had upcoming exams and a lot on their plates. Also true that they had tried to show real concern in certain ways. But I could see that it was not easy for them and I began to question my friend’s advice. By being indifferent to reciprocity, was I making them less kindhearted people? By not expecting gentle words and caring...
by Lesley Lyle | November, 2015 | Relationships
Halloween is over. The fireworks have gone ‘bang’. Christmas is next on the list. It’s that time of year when we can’t avoid the Christmas atmosphere – the Christmas adverts are competing with each other for our awe and attention, the supermarket shelves are filling up with the latest ‘must-have’ gifts and goodies and Wham’s Last Christmas is being played over the speakers wherever we visit. And then we’ll have the TV cooks and chefs in their designer homes, showing us their idea of the perfect Christmas. But is that what Christmas is all about for you and your family? Remember that millions of pounds have been spent on those advertising campaigns to try to get you to shop at those stores, and cookery books have been published so that we can buy a little bit of that luxury lifestyle. Perhaps it time to think about what Christmas really means to you and your family. Christmas Traditions – Old and New What do you remember about Christmas from when you were little? What were the traditions that made Christmas special for you? For most of us, when we were little, Christmas was a magical time. Family traditions are important for children. They give a sense of belonging and identity, and a feeling of continuity over time. Looking back at old photographs of Christmas’s long gone give many of us pleasure and remind us about what is important. Most traditions are not about material wealth but about spending time together, doing things together as a family and being creative. Old or new, there’s always time to introduce traditions. Sometimes, when...
by Dan Collinson | November, 2015 | Relationships, self-development
Sharing my journey As something of a foreword, I suppose the following blog serves two purposes, firstly to cement my own inchoate ramblings and serve as a way of documenting my journey or learning process. Secondly, to share observations that I see as interesting in the hope that there are others out there that are like-minded and have a shared interest. Changing focus My research path and direction has recently straightened itself out as I move from examining the highly individual engaging, satisfying flow experiences to a focus on exploring shared decision-making between clients and practitioners in counselling and psychotherapy. That is, examining how therapeutic goals and methods are decided upon in a way that sees patient involvement as key, whilst at the same time utilising the expertise of the practitioner as well as encouraging open communication and the exchange of information within the therapeutic relationship. Shared decision making Shared decision-making can be seen to hold an important place within what is known as the pluralistic approach to counselling and psychotherapy (Cooper & Mcleod, 2011), which is there area where most of my reading has been directed lately. Adopting a philosophical stance of pluralism, this framework for counselling and psychotherapy asserts that there are may be different methods or a series of different techniques, as well as the way they are delivered, that might be more preferable and work best for each individual client and the meeting of their therapy goals. A different approach On the surface this seems like quite a topic shift, and you’re probably raising an eyebrow right about now. Yet, I see a natural progression...
by Lynn Soots | October, 2015 | Positive Psychology, Relationships, self-development
I have always harmonized with the idea that authentic or genuine lessons are often those lessons not taught in schools but realized from watching a true master craft their skills in everyday life. I would like to share a story about “Grandma Jennie” that is not only a story about wisdom, grace, and beauty but one that is a life lesson on how to truly make yourself memorable in the most meaningful way. Often my son and I are invited to join in festive celebrations at a neighbor’s house. Grandma Jennie lives there with her daughter and son-in-law, and family and friends visiting are a regular occurrence to generate a wonderful reason for an impromptu gathering. At the beautiful age of 95, Grandma Jennie is never a shadow or left-out person at the gathers; on the contrary, at times it is hard to get a moment of her time. Jokingly, I once said, “I have waited in a shorter line to get Billie Idol concert tickets.” So what makes this amazing woman so memorable and so special? Well, I have sat back and watched her, and her recipe is quite simple. A Simple Recipe to being Authentically Memorable: • 1 large dose of mindfulness • 1 large discarded bag of ego • 5 minutes of listening When you walk in a room, Grandma Jennie makes you feel like the party is for you and you now stand on the red carpet as the guest of honor. You are greeted with the warmest smile and a flicker of “girl giddiness” that hints something special is afoot. Then she asks you...
by Lynn Soots | October, 2015 | Community, Culture, Relationships, Uncategorized
The Syrian crisis has been the most frequent topic of discussion in my twins’ Global Perspectives class. I love the concept of the class – they access media coverage from around the world and see the same event covered from different perspectives. A great way to challenge their unconscious biases and broaden their perspective, or so one would think. But then they go on to do something that I think totally defeats the purpose. They critically analyze the news, but in what’s been called “motivated reasoning”, process the new information through the filter of their preexisting worldview. Which means that it often leads to what their teacher calls a drunk’s bar conversation, where they adamantly defend their positions and become all the more certain of their views. What Children Learn is Important At the breakfast table one day though, one of the twins was reading the story of a refugee family, one of many that they had read over the past few weeks. But when she looked up, something had changed within her. “Mommy!” she cried in alarm, “this family was just like us – they worked in good jobs, their children went to good schools. Their daughter did ballet, their two sons played soccer and basketball. And look what happened to them…” as she trailed off in disbelief. Somehow, the fact that most of the people were living normal lives before the crisis had evaded her for so long. And somehow this was all she needed to feel genuine empathy for them. It’s true that critical reasoning without empathy simply leads to cynicism and disconnect. To be moved...
