by Lynn Soots | August, 2016 | Uncategorized
(B)e (I)n (T)he (E)xperience – BITE If you are learning about Positive Psychology, you will find a lot of technical aspects highlighting the ought to be’s or the should be’s of getting to a point of feeling happiness or happier. “Go to Disneyland, try a yoga class, try a cooking class, join a club etc.” These are all great avenues to explore but they are one dimensional and do not address the engagement factors of what we as humans crave; positive interaction and feedback. While living in Hawaii, I was asked how anyone could possibly be unhappy living in Hawaii. The beauty, the music, the food are all incredible; a true paradise. But, Hawaii is just the setting for the experience, not the full interactive experience itself. I have also lived in poverty-stricken places where living is day to day. Again, I have been asked how people there could find happiness given the difficult living conditions. It is not always about the backdrop that surrounds us, but the positive engagement in the moment experiences we take in and use to invigorate and empower our sense of being human. Shift- Take a BITE By acknowledging the SHIFT- one-dimensional environment to multi-dimensional experience, it allows us to realize and stockpile the positive benefits of the experience. I recall many moons ago, while stationed in the Philippines, being invited to my first “local” pig-roast gathering. Upon arriving I was quickly ushered to the kitchen where all the ladies were making lumpia and pancit. Without any conversation, a huge tray was set in front of me and I was given a ten-second talking-hand...
by Lynn Soots | July, 2016 | Health, Positive Psychology
A couple of years ago I learned about a Positive Psychologist named Barbara Frederickson and her concept of Broaden and Build Theory. This was a light-bulb-epiphany-penny-dropping moment for me. It was also an extremely confronting moment, but seriously life changing and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hope that this information will also serve you in a similar manner and help you to change your life for the better. The Spiral Affect Before I talk about Broaden and Build Theory, first you must understand something very important about the brain and how biologically it has a tendency to focus on negatives more than positives. This is because it needs to, to keep you safe. Once upon a time before we were a civilised nation, we ran around with sticks and lived in caves. Our brains had to be alert to negative clues of danger to keep us from being eaten by lions and tigers and other such beastly animals. Our brain evolved to focus on those negatives at an unconscious level in order to keep us alive. Now that we are civilised however, we do not face these physical dangers to our lives every day. Due to the way our brain evolved though it still focuses on negatives and danger because that is how it was designed to function and it serves a purpose for when we are in a dangerous situation. The problem with this is that today’s danger is mostly just an emotional threat. So biologically we now have this tendency to naturally focus on negatives and emotionally dangerous situations more than we...
by Julie Ostrow | July, 2016 | Health, Julie Ostrow
Admittedly, I allow too much of my day to be caught up in doing, doing, doing. It seems I am constantly Judging. “What needs to be done?” “What did I do?” “What didn’t I do?” Judging, questioning, and doubting catapults me out of the present moment and into either the past or into the future. Creativity or joy rarely evolves from ruminating over the past or worry and contemplating the future. No goal-no expectation of the outcome- no plan- no agenda When I was a child, I’d daydream a lot. My imagination was on fire. I’d lose track of time and I’d be lost in play. I’d be lost in the present moment.Throughout my childhood and young adult years I’d spend hours doing something just for the sake of fun and using my imagination. ~I’d create something out of nothing. I loved carving shapes out of Ivory soap. ~I’d color just because I wanted to. Not because I had to for a project. ~I’d pretend the dock at our house on the river in Michigan was a raft. My childhood friend and I would pretend we were Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn floating down the river to our next adventure. ~I’d spend hours at Tower Records on my way home from my job on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. I’d listen to music before I bought it. Maybe even dance if the music moved me to do so. After an evening of exploring music, I’d walk home with at least three new CD’s. By weekend’s end, I’d know every song on all of the CD’s. Getting lost in thought Recently,...
by Lynn Soots | July, 2016 | Relationships, Uncategorized
As a fun communication game, my son and I play “would you rather…”. This usually leads to something disgusting that would have to be eaten or something embarrassing. None-the-less it is funny and we learn a bit more about each other each time we play the game. The other day, my son asked a more serious question “would you rather have me here, or take a million dollars?” Quite honestly I was taken back as the answer should have been obvious. It made me ponder the society we live in and the how we place value accordingly. Teaching positive psychology I often talk about how we value different things in our life, and the idea that positive experiences and positive relationships are often a predictor of our own happiness, but I had not stopped to consider how an eleven-year-old boy developed a sense of value; I quickly grabbed the teaching moment… What is a marble worth? I asked my son how much a marble was worth. His answer was “that depends on the marble, but anywhere from a dime to few dollars”. We agreed on a middle ground of a dollar a piece for each marble. Then I asked him what if each marble was worth a memory? How would you value it then? He quickly responded with “you can’t value it, it is not worth anything”…and the long pause commenced. His next comment was “I just said memories weren’t worth anything didn’t I?” Then I said, remember last week when we went to the movie and when we came out and it was pouring raining and you jumped...
by Lynn Soots | July, 2016 | Community
Building Character Strengths in post-Brexit Britain I wouldn’t normally describe myself as a particularly vocal person on the subject of politics but I think like many other people at the moment, I am still reeling from the decision to leave the European Union (EU). I was especially shocked at the strength of my reaction to the news of Brexit and towards my fellow compatriots – and even some of the ‘senior’ members of my own family – for voting to leave. But I would like to think that studying Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) has taught me to ‘self-regulate’ more quickly and to recognise the importance of dealing with this situation and these emotions as speedily and positively as we can. Whichever way we voted, action is essential if we are to prevent a potentially very divisive split in relationships with family, friends, colleagues, neighbours and communities. The power of fear and negativity can bring out the worst in all of us. The Archbishop of Canterbury has already spoken out on “an out-welling of poison and hatred” that has occurred since the Brexit result, with racial attacks increasing dramatically. Whilst I applaud the attempt to make clear that Britain is not a nation of racists, I don’t think the ‘wear a safety pin’ to display this perspective is enough: it is in our everyday attitudes and actions that the truth will be made evident. Core values of the British ‘character’ This division could damage the very heart of our British ‘strength of character’ with core values such as fairness, tolerance and humanity. But it’s not only the public who need...
