by Sarah Cramoysan | January, 2022 | Habits, Sarah Cramoysan
New Year’s resolutions. It’s traditional on New Year’s Eve to make New Year’s resolutions. People promise themselves they will lose weight, drink less, quit smoking or start exercising. If they are lucky, they might keep up their new year’s resolutions for a couple of weeks before they run out of steam. Some people will succeed, but many people fail. Why is it so hard to create new habits and even harder to break old ones? The usefulness of habits Every morning I take my dog for a walk. Sometimes we go out with friends and do different walks, but most of the time we do a familiar loop from our house. We walk out of our house, across the road, around the field then back up the hill and home. It’s so familiar I don’t have to think about it. Once I get started it’s easy and effortless and I can think about something else – what I’m going to be doing that day, enjoy just looking at the scenery or whatever takes my fancy. Even the dog knows that when we reach the field we normally loop around to the right. Just occasionally I will make a conscious decision to break out of the loop and do something different, but that takes thought and effort, and the default is to walk the normal route. The downside of this is it can be a bit boring. If I make an effort to go somewhere new, then it’s generally more enjoyable walking somewhere different. So why do I do this? Because it’s easy. The dog needs walking and it’s...
by Sarah Cramoysan | November, 2021 | Life, Sarah Cramoysan
When life deals you Lemons… Positive Psychology has sometimes been described as what takes us from OK to great – but what happens when something knocks us sideways and we are finding it hard to cope? There are times when things just aren’t going right for us and no amount of positivity can fix it, so what do we do then? I’m normally a fan of gratitude journaling to keep focussed on the bright side of life, but in the last couple of months there have been a couple of issues over which I have no control that have made it hard to feel positive or hopeful. So this month I thought I would try to summarise what I’ve learnt from Positive Psychology that has helped me through. Acknowledge your emotions, but don’t get swept away If you are feeling angry, or frustrated or upset or sad, that’s OK. Don’t be hard on yourself or feel that you shouldn’t ‘feel’ that way, just accept those emotions as part of your human experience. But at the same time, don’t get swept up in your emotions or take action when they are in full flow. This is easier said than done, and takes practice, but if you can allow yourself to time to feel and process an emotion, without reacting to it and leaping into action straightaway, the feelings will calm down eventually and then you can move forward. One way I found helped me was to rephrase the way I spoke to myself. Instead of saying “I am angry” (or sad, or whatever) I rephrase it as “I feel...
by Sarah Cramoysan | September, 2021 | Positive Psychology, Sarah Cramoysan
Racing for gold Imagine yourself performing your favourite sport in the Tokyo Olympics – maybe a running event. You’ve worked hard, trained for it, you’re ready for the big day. On the day, it gets off to a good start, you race hard, and it goes better than expected. You cross the finish line behind the world number one, but you are just ahead of your other main rival – you come second place and get silver! As you stand there on the podium, across from your rival who got bronze – who do you think has the biggest smile? Intuitively, you would expect silver medal winners to be happier than bronze medal winners, but a study by Medvec et al.(1995) looked at the emotional expressions of athletes at the summer 1992 Olympics, found that bronze medallists seemed happier than silver medallists, both immediately after the event and on the podium. How can that be? The answer to the question is comparison. When we assess a situation, we compare what actually happened to ‘what might have been’. The silver medallists focussed on how they almost won the race – so coming second was good, but a disappointment compared to ‘what might have been’. However, the bronze medallists were just pleased that they got a medal at all – they compared themselves to the non-medallists who were nipping at their heels as they ran, so they were delighted to make it onto the podium. When making comparisons, be careful which way you look If bronze medallists can be happier than silver medallists by a downward comparison (what happened was...
by Sarah Cramoysan | July, 2021 | Gratitude, Sarah Cramoysan
What is gratitude journaling? In the last couple of decades, research into happiness and wellbeing has shown that consciously choosing to participate in certain activities (sometimes called positive psychology interventions) can have a positive effect on our mood, increasing our happiness, optimism, and sense of wellbeing. One such simple intervention is keeping a ‘gratitude journal’ – the practice of writing down things that we feel grateful for, on a regular basis. When considering activities that might increase wellbeing, different people might be drawn to different type of activities – there is no ‘one size fits all’ in positive psychology, however, gratitude journaling is a particular favourite of mine. It is something I have found to be simple and effective, and in my master’s research project on gratitude journaling, I found that most participants who volunteered to take part enjoyed the process and found it rewarding. How do I go about gratitude journaling? It’s easy – just find a notebook or sheet of paper and each day set aside a few minutes to think about what you are grateful for, then jot it down. I keep my journal by my bed and often write before I go to sleep, which has the added benefit that I end my day thinking about something positive. I normally aim for three things, some days I’ve had a great day and more things come to mind. What I’ve found, is that if you keep it up for a couple of weeks, you gradually become more attuned to the positive and it becomes easier to think of things to write. What should I...
by Sarah Cramoysan | March, 2021 | Covid19, Sarah Cramoysan
Lockdown Insomnia One of the side effects of this lockdown for me, seems to be a type of insomnia. I have no problem going to sleep, but often wake up about four hours later and have an hour or two of wakefulness, before eventually drifting back into a sound sleep. In those wee hours, worries arise and chase round my head, but I have learnt over time that they will often seem much smaller in the morning. So I try not to solve big problems in the middle of the night, but instead turn my mind to smaller and more interesting ones to mull over. Yesterday I was reminded that it was time to submit another blog post, so I found myself lying awake at 3am wondering what I could write about, that might actually be useful or helpful to read as the current lockdown drags on. Silver Linings I have written before about using humour and social connection to get through these tough times. It would be very tempting to write another article about staying positive or seeing the bright side and although I’m a great believer in the power of looking for the silver linings in the clouds, there are days when it has been cloudy for so long that we’re all just tired out. Then it occurred to me that’s what I should write about. It’s OK to not be OK. We can embrace the dark side too. The Dark Side Positive psychology is not about being happy all the time. It’s also about being a whole person who will have dark days too. It’s not...
by Sarah Cramoysan | January, 2021 | Positive Psychology, Sarah Cramoysan
The joy of a fresh new page My family laugh at me, as whenever I decide to be more organised, I buy myself a new notebook or planner. As I open it, the crisp clean pages make me feel like this is a new start, a new beginning. They laugh because they know that in a few weeks’ time I will still be muddling through as always, and I won’t be able to remember quite what my new system of organisation was meant to be, but for me, a new notebook is symbolic of a fresh start. One of the things I love about New Year is the same feeling of a new chapter of life about to unfold. I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions anymore, but I love the chance to reflect on the year that has gone and to think forward to what might be next year. This year, that fresh new page isn’t quite there, as we know that we still have months of the Covid pandemic affecting our lives, but we can now see some light at the end of the tunnel as the vaccines roll out. So maybe we can look back on what we’ve learnt in this year of disruption and pain and then look forward and start to plan for better things next year. Best Possible Self Exercise Recently, I tried out a Positive Psychology Intervention on myself called the “Best Possible Self” exercise (BPS) which allows us to imagine a future self where everything has gone well, where you are your ‘best possible self’. First, choose a point in the future...