The last year has been like none the world has ever experienced in my lifetime and it has certainly been a time of huge change, mental and physical readjustment with many challenges along the way. For me, a move to a new country, culture, and way of being has made life very colourful despite COVID restrictions, but like millions of us around the world, I have been apart from those I care about, with no way to travel and only seeing my loved ones on Zoom or video chats. A new kind of normal COVID caused and in some places is very sadly still causing, separation from family and friends and a lack of any kind of social contact. Even though life for many of us is beginning to look like it did before, nothing is the same as it was. So many people have suffered huge hardships, anxiety, loneliness, and loss. In Israel, where I now live, COVID is almost gone, and life is almost back to what we might think as ‘normal’. Except it isn’t the normal we knew before. I am watching the joy of people hugging parents, children, and friends again. There is an atmosphere of relief, appreciation, and a strong sense of zest for life and making the most of the moment. Missing hugs Larissa Meijer and colleagues’ (2021) recent study showed that touch-starved people rate touch more highly than usual, even when only viewing touch on video. Nothing makes up for hugging our friends and family. Touch and connection to others are imperative for human wellbeing and before the pandemic, we...
In this blog, I look at how Positive Psychology (PP) can provide pathways to help us engage with questions about what is important in life, whatever your background. The benefits of talking in groups One of the things many people have noticed during the pandemic is how much they miss meeting in groups. We have been fortunate that technology has helped us address this to some extent via videoconferencing platforms. Indeed, some people have found that they have connected more with family and friends because they have had to be organised about it. They even aim to continue meeting in this way when it proves impossible to synchronise everyone’s diaries for a (guideline permitted) face to face meeting. Talking with other people helps boost our sense of connectedness, allows us to reflect on what we have been doing and gain feedback and affirmation. It promotes interest and curiosity in others, widens and challenges our perspective and ultimately both builds the social relationships vital to our wellbeing and encourages personal growth, as we learn vicariously from the experiences of others. We are social creatures and we learn and thrive from being with one another. Life’s big questions Another related gift of the pandemic has, perhaps, also been a shakeup of our values and engagement with meaning. When we can’t see people, we notice we miss them. When people are dying and our lives disrupted we tend to ask questions like; “what really matters?”, “who do I value more, my delivery driver or my accountant?”, “how do I balance physical health risk to myself and others with mental health needs?” These...
Whilst studying for my Positive Psychology degree I came across hope theory by C.R.Snyder. Hope theory basically consists of 3 components, a goal, a pathway, and agency. It is something I instantly recognised as I realised, I’d live by this theory for most of my life. I had goals for everything, business goals, financial goals, health and fitness goals, relationship goals etc. Every time I put my hand to something I would set up a goal. The idea is quite simple, I achieve these goals and I would be deliriously happy. However, it never quite turned out that way because I discovered hope theory has some major flaws. Sh*t happens In 2004 I was offered the chance to run my own business and it went really well. By year 4 I had ambitious plans to expand, everything felt right, I was building a team that had plenty of happy customers, and so I drew up a series of goals for the business and what I was going to do with the money I was going to make. What could possibly go wrong? I don’t think anyone saw the bank crash coming. Overnight my company went from big profit to big loss, we had to re-evaluate everything and the goals I had set up were quickly set aside. A few years later my marriage broke down and with it all my personal goals. Ten years later my life had turned around, my business and personal life was going well, I had a whole lot of new goals and defined pathways to reach them. This time there would be nothing to...
Change. It’s been quite a year. A pandemic, economic uncertainty and technology changing at the speed of light. Change can be exhilarating but continual change can create anxiety and eventually health issues like burnout and depression. How can you as a manager support the complex and varied needs of your team during this tumultuous time? Keep talking Talk to your team more than you think you need to. Teams that talk less experience increased feelings of isolation and anxiety. Obviously tell your team about any company changes and updates, inform them about any changes to your flexible working policies and what the implications are. Help your team to prioritise their workload and understand where the ‘give’ is in your team’s agenda. Support a culture of teamwork and collaboration. Give feedback in a timely manner. Develop a culture of praise, use appreciate enquiry where you can [1] Be available for your team as much as possible. Be vulnerable If you can be vulnerable with the team or individuals about your own wellbeing it will build trust. Being open helps us to develop and deepen relationships. Be sure to only share what you feel comfortable with sharing there is no obligation for you or others to ‘over share’ [2] Check-in with each other Don’t view it as yet another Zoom meeting…checking in with individuals and teams is critical, do it regularly and with commitment. It’s not always easy to tell if someone is struggling, especially remotely. You can start with ‘How are you?’ but don’t end there…really listen and understand the response, ask follow up questions that show that you’re listening...
I have taken part in and read many conversations recently about improving our own wellbeing, particularly as many of us have seen some light at the end of the COVID-19 tunnel and are considering the best ways to live our lives with our returning freedoms. Common threads include an ability to accept life’s challenges, stay grounded and grateful for the good that we already have, and be willing to be open to challenges as opportunities for personal growth. Even before the pandemic, I don’t know anyone who has come through life without facing their own personal challenges and crises and sometimes, it is useful to start with taking a step back and observing our own situation in a more detached way. Mindfulness researcher Jon Kabat-Zinn (2012) reminds us that the events we have experienced until now have already happened to us; we can’t change them, but we can change the way we react to and overcome stressful situations. The ways we find to manage life will be unique to each of us; what works for some may not work for others but here are a few ideas about remaining grounded and resilient, no matter what is going on around us. Mindfully observing the ‘movie’ of our own lives Practising mindfulness can help us switch off panic and anxiety and begin to think differently. Stopping to watch how our own life movie is unfolding, without judging it or trying to fix what we don’t like, can help us to detach from being ‘in’ our experience. Mindful pauses can help us break stressful patterns of thought and find clarity and...
An invitation to be vaccinated… I have occasional health anxiety, I know what caused it, how it gets triggered and how to manage it. The pandemic didn’t help and when I was invited for my Covid vaccination I had very mixed feelings. Of course, I was going to have it, but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. It was almost impossible to avoid the international debate and concern about the Astra Zenica Oxford vaccination and this worried me, perhaps I’d be offered a different type of vaccination and the side effects would be negligible… On the dreaded Tuesday, I went along to the vaccination centre. We live in the country and the local exhibition space most often used for agricultural shows had been transformed. There were over 200 people in the queue when I got there and we waited outside for a while next to a shed that said ‘Sheep Shearing’ (We moved out of London 7 years ago, I’m a townie at heart, these things still amuse me). As I stood in the immaculately organised, quiet queue I reflected on the conversations with 3 different friends who had rung to describe to me a variation on the theme of ‘actually I’ve been quite ill, but don’t let that put you off’. Having the vaccination really felt counterintuitive. (I know, I know, I understand the science but the feeling remains) When my anxiety started to rise and I began sentences with ‘What if…” my husband would always respond with “Sweetheart, it’s going to be absolutely fine” Holistic preparation, safety behaviours or adaptive coping strategies?… I’d been ‘preparing’ for...
