by Neil Wilkie | October, 2020 | Addiction, Neil Wilkie, Relationships
We have a clear understanding of what an affair is and this normally involves sex. Emotional affairs do not involve sex but can be even more damaging. What is an Emotional Affair? An emotional affair between two people is a relationship with the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship without the sex. It often starts with an innocent friendship and grows into intimacy and emotional attachment. There is normally sharing of intimate aspects of themselves, their relationships and subjects they wouldn’t talk about with their partners. Emotional affairs are on the increase. Social Media and dating sites make it much easier to connect with strangers. The fact that it is slightly disconnected, and boundaries can be lower means that platonic relationships can slowly morph into deep emotional friendships. Even when such affairs do not cross the line by becoming physical, the impact can be just as damaging and puts your relationship in the danger zone. Some partners see an emotional affair as more of a betrayal than ‘just’ sex because of the depth of emotional connection and the sharing of intimate knowledge. Are you having an Emotional Affair? Here are ten signs that indicate you probably are: You are feeling increasingly disconnected from your partner. The good times of connection fade into history and the negatives start to grow You start to lie to your partner or keep secrets. You compare your partner to them and get more critical of your partner. Your partner gets less of your thoughts, affection and time while they get more. You frequently communicate with this person and at unusual hours. You discuss very personal...
by Nicola Morgan | October, 2018 | Addiction
I was going to write a blog about an academic issue. Then I decided to share a personal story that causes me great pain instead. I have a brother who is an alcoholic. It is a very sad situation in which he is severely ill with this condition and is no longer an independent adult even though he is in his forties. He lives with my parents who house and feed him and take general care of him. He is not able to work as his condition means that when he secures a job, he is soon fired. He is not able to drive as his condition means that he is (thankfully) banned from driving and is likely to remain so in perpetuity unless he recovers. His children do not see him – they do not want to. His friends do not see him – they do not want to. I do not see him – I do want to but it is too difficult because he is aggressive, unpredictable and unsafe to be around. This has absolutely torn my once relatively happy family apart. Without going into all the details, the outcome has been that I do not really have a wider family anymore. This does not sound very ‘positive psychology’ does it? But, it can be helpful. What I am suffering is grief. I have lost the brother that I once had a great relationship with and I have lost my wider family. So, my challenge then is how to embrace this dark side and deal with that grief. If any readers have dealt with alcoholics before,...
