by Tracy Bevan | December, 2022 | Christmas, Tracy Bevan
Love it or hate it, Christmas is upon us once more! As I get older I find myself more often in the ‘love it’ camp but I still have to watch that I don’t let things don’t slip over into ‘The Season of Too Much’. If I do, I start to feel overstretched and it can become hard to enjoy even the good times. Too many late nights and parties can leave me exhausted before I even get to the big day. I know for some, time with family can be a celebration, but for others it can be fraught with trying to meet expectations, negotiating difficult family dynamics or a reminder of those we have lost. At times, Christmas can also feel a very lonely place, especially when, if you are to believe Facebook, everyone else is basking in the warmth of their harmonious families! On top of this, we add the financial strain that a commercial Christmas brings. We can forget to take time for ourselves and savour the joy of what can be a very special time of year. People are often kinder, more open and more generous. If we take a step back and keep mindful of the simpler moments then we can reclaim this season as a positive chance to connect with ourselves and with others. A Christmas Wish List of Your Own It used to be that by the time I finished work for Christmas I could generally expect some form of illness. My batteries had been drained and as soon as I stopped my body collapsed! I would spend much of...
by Tracy Bevan | October, 2022 | Positive Psychology, resilience, Tracy Bevan
This September my daughters left for their first term at university. They are twins so milestones arrive in duplicate. No dipping toes into changing family dynamics for me; it’s a head first dive into an empty nest situation, and it has churned up a lot of emotions. Will the loss of my ‘mum’ identity mirror the kicking and screaming of my younger self as I was dragged in to motherhood 20 years ago? Can I step back into the pre-child version of me or is she lost forever? Am I equipped to navigate this time of change and uncertainty? Luckily the answer to that last one is, hopefully, yes. Positive Psychology has offered me some tools that come into their own when life gets uncertain. That doesn’t mean the sea doesn’t get choppy it’s just I am more confident in my ability to float, perhaps even swim. So today, Day 2 in a childless house, my chest is tight. It feels like there is a tangled knot of something stuck there and unpicking the mess of feelings may just help me digest the whole. So here is what I have learnt about transitions, emotions and resilience. Emotions This season of change is bittersweet. Positive and negative emotions are jumbled together and hard to separate. The aim is to acknowledge these, trying to discern them as clearly as I can, without assigning judgements like ‘good’ or ‘bad’. For me, there is pride in my daughters’ success in their exams and excitement as they move towards adulthood but there is also sadness, loss, regret and emptiness. I accept I will...
by Tracy Bevan | June, 2022 | Tracy Bevan, Work
The company I work for went through a merger this month and I’ve been planted into a new role. In many ways it is very similar to my previous position but with any new organisation comes new ways of doing things; new policies, new procedures and crucially a new culture. Workplace Culture I write this from the viewpoint of an employee; I’m not an expert in organisational culture but it is a topic that has always fascinated the psychologist in me. I’ve worked within many organisations over the years, from local government to third-sector charities and housing associations. As I settle in to each new place there is that feeling, after a few months, of becoming known. You start to be a part of things, a part of the family. Your role – what you do – may be very similar, you may even have the same job title, but the way you do things, the attitudes and behaviours you adopt, can differ substantially. Organisations are a construct shaped by many different elements; employees, managers, directors, the CEO, a Board and other stakeholders. They all put a stamp on its character. Some places are more top-down, others may be more organic, some carry a more historic sense of institution, but each has a personality of its own, an identity beyond that of its constituent parts. Newbies are assimilated and we find a place for ourselves – or realise it is not the right fit and perhaps move on. Belonging For me, my place has often been on the outskirts. I am an observer by nature and I...
by Tracy Bevan | March, 2022 | Positive Psychology, Tracy Bevan
From Student To Practitioner I’ve always loved transitions. Moving from one place to another, starting things, packing up. It is a time full of potential and I relish the change. I’m meeting new people and feel buoyed up by optimism. It’s energizing. In my current transition stage from ‘coach in training’ to fully fledged practitioner I am in a good place; the fear : excitement ratio has tipped slightly in the favour of the latter and that’s all I need to keep going. The Between Space For me, the difficult part was not the ‘becoming’.. it was ‘beginning’. This time last year the chasm between student and coach was a dark place with no discernible path. I had a dream of being a successful coach, running my own practice and making a difference in people’s lives, but the in-between place was a no man’s land. How could I get started when what I was aiming for seemed an impossibility, a pie-in-the-sky scheme? Visualising didn’t help. The picture I would try and build in my head seemed too far removed from where I was. I couldn’t relate it to myself, the disconnect was too big. Me, self-employed and running my own business? Or the biggie; me, being commissioned and paid for my skills and expertise? No, I just couldn’t see that. Because how can you imagine anyone else valuing your abilities if you don’t value them yourself? This is where my biggest doubts crept in; believing anyone would part with their hard-earned cash for what I have to offer. Those First Steps So, how did I move past...
