by James McIntyre-Ure | October, 2023 | James McIntyre-Ure
Listen to the audio version of this article. Bored with the tasks you do as part of your job? No energy to start any projects of your own? Not keeping up with what’s going on in your field? No longer finding your work challenging? If you find yourself answering yes to these questions, it is an indicator that you may be feeling stuck and in need of a healthy change. At least you’re not alone (because 70% of people feel the same way) and continue to spend over 50% of their waking hours frustrated. Feeling stuck in your career can have a knock-on effect to other areas of our lives. The smallest things our colleagues do at work start to become more noticeable and less bearable. We become resentful of the powers that be and end up feeling cynical, and in some cases burnout from the endless emotional drain. We may even notice that we have a shorter temper when with our loved ones, or a feeling of emptiness when talking about our days at work. Continue reading for practical advice to help you come unstuck and forge a path toward a fulfilling and purposeful career. Reflect on energisers and drainers Think of your career as a ship sailing through stormy waters. While you will get momentarily thrown off course by setbacks, you still want to be heading in the right direction. Some storms are inevitable, but if you find yourself experiencing constant waves, it could be a key moment to pause and reassess. What are the stars that are guiding your professional journey? Reflect on your...
by James McIntyre-Ure | May, 2023 | James McIntyre-Ure, Life
You may have heard of the term ‘midlife crisis’. As people approach their mid-thirties or forties, it’s quite common to experience a phase of deep reflection, introspection, and evaluate one’s accomplishments in life. Quite often people start to question whether it’s too late to start a family or change careers. Maybe they have been in their current job for a long time and are now feeling stuck, empty, or unfulfilled. The sense of safety and security they spent so long building is now too risky to jeopardise, yet reinforced each day they don’t act. Perhaps they are starting to feel life’s toll on their skin, body, and health; realising that they won’t be around forever and wondering whether people will remember them when they are gone. (The death of someone close could also be a cruel reminder of our limited time here). If you’re looking for some inspiration, keep reading as I’ll briefly outline 5 ways to help you find a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Being connected to something greater Fortunately, we are not alone, as these needs can be explained with Developmental Psychology. Erik Erikson outlines 8 stages of psychosocial development and specifically as we enter the mid-stage of our lives, we all have a hope to be connected to something bigger and nurture future generations. This is a likely reason people start to question the meaning of life, their legacy or whether it’s too late to have children. Knowing the meaning of life is extremely complex and subjective, which makes us feel uncertain and sense a lack of control. I want you...
by James McIntyre-Ure | April, 2023 | empathy, James McIntyre-Ure
Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of life, whether it’s resolving a conflict with a loved one or consoling a friend in distress. These conversations are emotionally charged which makes them tricky to navigate in the heat of the moment. A key skill that helps us during these times is empathy and it’s becoming quite the buzzword. Empathy allows us to connect on a deeper level, understand perspective, and respond to needs in a more compassionate and rational way. Speaking to emotions makes people feel accepted and heard, whereas when they are not acknowledged, it can make them feel resentful, rejected or unimportant. Read on for a step-by-step approach on how to remain empathetic, during difficult conversations. Avoid mind reading Has your partner ever responded to you with “Don’t tell me how I feel!”? If so, this is completely plausible because you’ll never be able to fully understand another person’s lived experience. The best you can do is be curious about gathering enough information to help you imagine what it’s like to be in their shoes. The minute you start jumping to conclusions is the minute you start mind reading, and we are all so bad at this. Even the likes of Derren Brown (famous mentalist and illusionist), would admit they can’t actually mind reading but are experts at creating enough illusions to make it seem to be the case. Other reasons we are bad at mind reading are because people’s challenging situations can trigger an emotional response that clouds our judgment, not to mention 24 cognitive biases at play. Allow time to vent During times of...
by James McIntyre-Ure | March, 2023 | James McIntyre-Ure, Positive Psychology
First of all, let’s clarify what positive psychology is not, as it’s commonly misunderstood. Smile, think happy thoughts, be positive and never give up. While there are benefits to those suggestions, we must be cautious of toxic positivity as it’s much more complex than that. Ultimately, Positive Psychology is a field of study that explores how people can live their best lives. While some people like to distinguish it from traditional Psychology, it actually encompasses all of the differing schools of thought. It has helped me see my past and future through a different lens, which has helped me to grow in endless ways. Since taking the time to reflect, I’ve felt less regretful when looking back on my life and much more hopeful when looking forward. I’d like to share some valuable lessons I’ve learned. Learning changes people One of the most memorable moments of my childhood was when my dad told me ‘You never stop learning’. I’ve always been a curious individual and one of the many questions I dwelled on during childhood was what makes people change? There are some people who seem like they never change, perhaps those who live with their parents for large parts of their lives or rarely venture outside of their hometown. On the other hand, there were people who I aspired to in school because they competed in national competitions and ventured abroad. While of course, some opportunities aren’t necessarily available to all, we not only learn from our own experiences but from other people’s too. People don’t need solutions Another thing I wondered about when growing up was...
by James McIntyre-Ure | February, 2023 | James McIntyre-Ure
A happiness group is where a group of people gets together and discuss a range of topics that affect their day-to-day happiness including definitions of happiness, goal accomplishment, habits, mindfulness and personal values. We spend enough time worrying about how we look, but not enough time reflecting on what we truly value and how we can use that as a motivator for positive change. Being part of a group means we can learn more about ourselves, encourage each other and have some form of accountability that helps us achieve the goals we want. Read on to find out how you can set up your own happiness project group. Values in action The VIA Character developed a strengths survey to measure what people value. VIA stands for Values In Action and 24 values were chosen because they fulfilled a list of criteria that were both universal and improved people’s well-being. They went through a rigorous selection process and were chosen by the founder of Positive Psychology Dr Martin Seligman, and famous psychologist Christopher Peterson. You can take the FREE survey online here. Once you know what you value, then you design 30-day goals based on a particular value. For instance, your value could be kindness, which means you would choose goals related to being kind (e.g. offering to help someone, telling someone you’re grateful for something they did or volunteering). You would then design a plan where you act in alignment with your values and then after a month, meet up with your group and share experiences. Why do people start them? Perhaps if you’ve been meaning to...
