by Tracy Bevan | October, 2024 | Life, Tracy Bevan
Balance doesn’t come easy, at least not to me, and just when you think you have things on an even keel, life happens! The pulls on our time and attention shift and evolve. Becoming self-employed this year has highlighted this for me. I no longer have a contract with set work hours, annual leave quotas or sick leave and carers leave allowances. So I find I am in need of a new balance, one that I have to create myself. Knowing the ideal isn’t easy, but we can recognise when we are veering off course; The feeling of being ‘stressed’ doesn’t lessen after a stressful event has passed. We feel frazzled, short-tempered, tired. Our good routines around sleep, food and exercise go out the window. We lose our ‘mojo’ and the fun seems to have seeped out of life. When you start to feel like this, getting through the essentials of life is all you have energy for. Keeping all your balls in the air becomes harder and harder! What Works For You? Finding Your Equilibrium When you don’t have a good work-life balance, it can feel like one area of life is taking over the other. It becomes overwhelming trying to meet all the roles we, and others, expect of us. The downtime we allow ourselves for relaxation and fun are often the first casualties. It’s more complicated than ‘work’ and ‘life’ though. We fulfil many roles inside and outside of work. We are parent, partner, carer, volunteer, friend, manager, employee, mentor, colleague. And then there is time for hobbies, keeping healthy or simply doing nothing, just...
by Inge Beckers | August, 2024 | Inge Beckers, Life
Embracing the Shades of Grey in a Polarized World In recent years, it feels as though the world has become increasingly divided. We see it in politics, in social issues, and even in our personal relationships. The lines between right and wrong, love and hate, for and against have become so sharply drawn that it often seems like there’s no room for anything in between. The middle ground, the shades of grey where we see nuance and understanding, is fading away. This growing polarization isn’t just a perception—it’s a reality fueled by several factors, with social media playing a significant role. Platforms that were once designed to connect us now often serve to divide us. Algorithms feed us content that aligns with our existing beliefs, reinforcing our personal viewpoints. We get locked in our own opinion-bubble and become less tolerant of those who think differently. But this black-and-white thinking is dangerous. It oversimplifies complex issues, strips us of empathy, and drives us further apart. When we refuse to really listen to other viewpoints or try to understand them, we lose the opportunity to learn and grow. Even worse, we begin to dehumanize those who think differently, seeing them as adversaries rather than fellow human beings with their own experiences, struggles, and hopes. This trend towards polarization makes our world colder and more hostile. And yet, there is a way to counter it—a way to bring back the shades of grey, to foster understanding and connection. What we need is more kindness and mildness in our interactions with others. The power of kindness Kindness is often dismissed as a soft...
by Inge Beckers | November, 2023 | Inge Beckers, Life
Do you sometimes feel like we live in a world where more equals better? More money, more clothes, more gadgets, more productivity, more growth, … It seems like a big part of our life is in fast-forward modus. We find ourselves entangled in the web of constant notifications, hectic schedules, and the pressure to keep up with the ever-increasing pace of life. We are all very busy and many people perceive being busy as being successful. But is that true? Personally, the older I get the more I feel a need to slow down and embrace simplicity. And I think I am not alone. I can see that more and more people see the art of slowing down as a necessity, not just a luxury. Research shows that if you go too fast, you overload your cognitive abilities, and they degrade. One of the leading experts on this topic, G. Claxton, analysed what happens to a person’s focus if they engage in deliberately slow practices like yoga and mindfulness. He is very clear in this: slowness nurtures attention, speed shatters it. So, how can we create simplicity in our lives and savour the beauty of a slower, more deliberate existence? These are things that work for me: 1. Disconnect to reconnect. In a world dominated by smartphones and social media, taking a break from screens can be incredibly rejuvenating. I discovered the Focus button on my phone, and it is very helpful to designate specific times during the day and especially in the evening to disconnect from my device. Instead, I choose to read a book, take a walk,...
by Lisa Jones | June, 2023 | Life, Lisa Jones
Following on from my last post on mid-life (https://www.thepositivepsychologypeople.com/focus-on-mid-life-in-21st-century/), this one is also about mid-life, but here I am focusing on the experience of how to feel alive, even when things are changing for us. It can be very easy to become caught up in anxieties and fear for the future, especially when changes are not expected. Yet it is in these moments of change that we are more alive than ever. There is no one way to be when our lives are in transition, but here I suggest a few techniques which may just help you hold onto some of the awe in the world. How to feel alive “I don’t think [the meaning of life] is what we’re seeking. I think [it’s] an experience of being alive so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” Joseph Campbell The above quote is attributed to Joseph Campbell from the 1980s American series ‘The Power of Myth’. Campbell was a writer who studied mythology and religious texts for most of his life. He became an expert at understanding the patterns within stories which can be found across the many cultures and societies we humans have created for millennia. Campbell argues that despite the belief that we are all searching for some sort of meaning in our lives, what we really want and need is what he calls the “rapture of being alive”. This is when you feel fully alive, and all your senses are piqued and firing. It...
by James McIntyre-Ure | May, 2023 | James McIntyre-Ure, Life
You may have heard of the term ‘midlife crisis’. As people approach their mid-thirties or forties, it’s quite common to experience a phase of deep reflection, introspection, and evaluate one’s accomplishments in life. Quite often people start to question whether it’s too late to start a family or change careers. Maybe they have been in their current job for a long time and are now feeling stuck, empty, or unfulfilled. The sense of safety and security they spent so long building is now too risky to jeopardise, yet reinforced each day they don’t act. Perhaps they are starting to feel life’s toll on their skin, body, and health; realising that they won’t be around forever and wondering whether people will remember them when they are gone. (The death of someone close could also be a cruel reminder of our limited time here). If you’re looking for some inspiration, keep reading as I’ll briefly outline 5 ways to help you find a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Being connected to something greater Fortunately, we are not alone, as these needs can be explained with Developmental Psychology. Erik Erikson outlines 8 stages of psychosocial development and specifically as we enter the mid-stage of our lives, we all have a hope to be connected to something bigger and nurture future generations. This is a likely reason people start to question the meaning of life, their legacy or whether it’s too late to have children. Knowing the meaning of life is extremely complex and subjective, which makes us feel uncertain and sense a lack of control. I want you...
by Pinky Jangra | April, 2023 | Life, Pinky Jangra
Wouldn’t it be nice to feel like you are living life through flow? How great would it be if things just fell into place, with minimal effort on your part? Imagine the peace, the joy, the gratitude of a life like this. Let yourself imagine it for a moment. Let yourself seep into that feeling of grace, ease and flow. And now, look at your current life… Is it flowing? It is full of ease and grace? For many of us, the answer will be ‘no’. Many of us are pushing, forcing and trying really hard which can lead to frustration, resentment, exhaustion and more. But, it needn’t be this way. You can create more ease and flow in your life. I speak from experience and, I’d like to share some tips with you. The first thing is to recognise if you are living through force, rather than flow. Are you forcing life? See if any of these are true for you: You feel a lot of stress and heaviness in life You often feel like you are ‘pushing against’ something You feel overwhelmed by external situations, people and things You feel controlled by external situations, people and things You feel powerless in your own life You are exhausted You are frequently trying really hard You become resentful and unhappy You may feel like a victim You may get angry when things aren’t going your way It takes a lot of effort to achieve what you want When you get what you want, you often lose it again If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these, you are...
