by Lena Britnell | June, 2019 | Life
“My house says to me, ‘Do not leave me, for here dwells your past.’ And the road says to me, ’Come and follow me, for I am your future.’ And I say to both my house and the road, ‘I have no past, nor have I a future. If I stay here, there is a going in my staying; and if I go, there is a staying in my going. Only love and death change all things.’” Old words of comfort When I was leaving home for the first time, before I left, I had a copy of these words up on my bedroom wall. Looking back they were comforting and held a lot of meaning for me during a difficult time in my life. My understanding of these words has only deepened over time as I have become exposed to positive psychology and gone through my own journey of change. Every time I read those words, and in particular when writing them out above, I find I have a lump to my throat and a tear in my eye. I also feel a strange sharpening of my gaze and a calming of my spirit. I couldn’t really explain why but I know that a lot of what Gibran wrote leaves me feeling this way, connected, uplifted but somehow more aware of the paradox of life: there is no joy without sadness and there is no meaning without suffering. Gibran words clearly resonated with me as a teenager, embarking on my first solo adventure and leaving the security of my family home for the first time. Today it feels...
by Pinky Jangra | June, 2019 | Life, Pinky Jangra
I could probably write 100 life lessons but, I’ll save that for my future book! I love learning about myself, about others and about this thing we call life. And, I love teaching and sharing my lessons with anyone who’ll listen. If you’re up for listening, without further ado, let’s get on to my top six life lessons: 1. Your childhood determines your adulthood What’s between your ears (your brain, in case you’re wondering!) was 90% formed by the time you were 5 years old. Whilst genetics helped it along in its growth, it largely developed in response to the environment. This means, the first few years of your life were massively influential in the life you experience now, as an adult. Whilst neuroplasticity means the brain continues to change, creating major, self directed change of your psychology and thus your emotions and behaviour, tends to require conscious effort. The reality is that most people don’t put that effort in. They are simply running off childhood patterns – we all are to varying degrees, I’m not sure it’s totally escapable. If you’re seeking to become more self-aware and develop yourself and your life, always start with reviewing your childhood. Some things to consider are: The quality of your childhood relationships: Children who experience abandonment, neglect, parental divorce, continued movement around foster homes etc. are likely to have impaired attachment relationships which in turn, impact their ability to form healthy adult relationships. The emotional connection and nurture you received from adults: Your ability to regulate your own emotions as an adult is based on how they were handled in childhood....
by Pinky Jangra | April, 2019 | Life, Pinky Jangra
When things are bad in your life, it’s easy to think ‘why me?’. Why do I have a rubbish job? Why is my relationship not working? Why did I lose my phone? Why is my family so difficult? Why am I sick? Why do people treat me poorly? Why did my car break down? Why didn’t I get that job? Why do I have financial worries? Why is MY life so difficult? ‘Why me?’ is usually accompanied by feelings of being unlucky, unworthy and alone. There’s often blame attached to ‘why me?’, whether that’s blame you place on yourself, other people, the wider world or some invisible force. ‘Why me?’ paints you as a victim, a lonely victim who’s been singled out for various forms of misery and strife, whether they be passing or long term, trivial or significant. Some of my recent ‘why me?’ experiences include getting parking and speeding tickets, having professional challenges and some really bad online shopping experiences! These are largely trivial, thankfully, but I really felt the ‘why me?’ mindset; I was angry, I felt like there was a dark cloud over MY head. Why ME? Why NOT you? This might feel like a big leap, so let’s walk the bridge from ‘why me?’ to ‘why NOT me?’ together, with some examples: Those speeding and parking tickets I mentioned? I read that the government makes millions of pounds from these things so, clearly thousands, if not millions of us have had them. It’s not just me. Those professional challenges I was experiencing? I spoke recently to someone who had similar problems. It’s not just...
