“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life” ~ Coco Chanel

For years, I’ve wanted to know what it was like for women who had to cut all their hair off because of cancer related treatments. I’ve seen the wigs, the scarves, the confident bald heads of women who somehow hold their heads up higher, as a result of the baldness. I’ve wanted to know why men comb-over rather than proudly watch their hair thin to nothingness, accepting the change in life as a new reality for them. Are there insecurities involved in losing the most visible of our changing seasons… our hair?

Yes. And, no.

I myself have had “hair” issues my whole life. Some people do. Ademola Mandella said, “Our hair is a statement of style, an affirmation of beauty, an expression of self-love.” Even some popular people running for President are more famous for their hair than any other identifier. I’ve been admired and mocked because of my hair. The list is long, sometimes wonderful, more times cruel. I have to decide every day if I accept myself “as is”. Many do.

The hair is a metaphor for how we decide to see the world. How the world sees us. We are not our hair.

When we decide to do something, only action and moving forward can follow. Then, we settle into living with that decision. I know from personal experience that others have tried to define who I am as a person, based solely on my hair style. We humans do that. Sum others up by their appearance. We too often allow our outer appearance speak for us. There isn’t always congruency in that method of communications. As a matter of fact, there is a great deal of mis-communications based on appearance as a reflection of our personality.

The best way to clarify who we are?

Decide. Become the physical embodiment of who we are as individuals or members of a culture. Then, own it. Wear it well. Celebrate it. If we want to change (which can be terrifying), we have to decide what we want, then go for it.

A hair cut is sometimes in order. Me? I just cut mine all off. Buzz cut. Trendy, non-gender specific less than pixie. Why? Because it’s just hair. It’s not me. It forced me to take that first step toward the change I want to see in my worldview. It is a reflection of my experimental nature. I have been entangled in my biggest insecurity for far too long. How I look to others.

I was terrified. That which we fear, we must face if we are to thrive.


Free to be me.

I decided. I reflected upon that decision. I lived that experience. And then I settled into my new reality that my hair is “just hair”…. again, a metaphor for deciding on how we choose to live our lives.

In Clarity, I developed a P.A.T.H. upon which to D.R.I.V.E. myself. ©

Personal Accountability Toward Happiness. as we Decide. Reflect. Initiate. Vive! Evolve. ©
Because yes….. we all deserve to be happy.

About the author: Karen E.M. Henry is a transitions life coach, writer and speaker. She specializes in working with people who want to create positive changes and savor who they want to be. Her full bio can be found at:!about-karen-e-m-henry-ma/c11k


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