Making Lemonade When Life Gives Us Lemons

Making Lemonade When Life Gives Us Lemons

I have always been curious about why, despite really tough circumstances, many people manage to take the lemons life throws at them and make them into lemonade. I have also always loved this saying. Apart from making me smile at the thought of adodging lemons being lobbed in my direction, for me it represents, through taking something sour and making it sweetly fizz and bubble, the very essence of gratitude and an effervescent joy and love of life. As my journey unfolds, I have often been curious about how the resources I have developed have enabled me to overcome my own challenges and whilst managing life’s difficulties, noticing that I have simultaneously found many moments of joy and happiness. One state does not preclude the other, a finding that appeared to be common to those around me who shared their journeys with me; friends, colleagues and my study participants who faced their own bumpy roads. The balance between triumphs and trauma Whilst positive psychology focuses on how humans flourish, it also fully acknowledges life’s hardships. There is no smooth life path and we all face challenges every day, but often these difficulties become a source of our own personal growth. The human condition is one of constantly trying to maintain the balance, encompassing the duality of our ability to be both happy and struggling at the same time. Yet so many of us appear to triumph over our traumas, finding or maintaining our equilibrium, despite internal and external chaos. As my life has unfolded,  I have noticed that psychological strength is not simply pushing through pain, or pretending to...
Embracing Change in an Ever Changing World

Embracing Change in an Ever Changing World

There are few certainties in our human existence, aside from the understanding that our experience of life constantly changes. Much has been written about how we manage and think about our journey of change and whilst inevitable, change can be experienced as either exhilarating or debilitating, depending on how we perceive or respond to the event. Positive and negative change is all ‘life’ Life is a constant ebb and flow of happenings, some which we might perceive as ‘bad’ and some as ‘good’. Changes can be welcome, gradual and beautiful, creeping up on us slowly, like the change of seasons, our children growing from babyhood to adulthood, achieving our goals and moving from life stage to life stage. Sometimes change involves taking new steps, reminding ourselves that there is no ‘best time’ to try something we have never tried, and relishing taking risks. Yet positive change often fills our world with richness, joy, a sense of achievement and increased levels of happiness. Change can also be sudden, undesirable and unexpected, such as bereavement, serious illness, loss of income and career challenges. What we perceive as negative change often impacts on our sense of wellbeing and psychological safety, though as many psychological studies have found, the events and experiences which call on us to overcome difficulties are often the catalysts for personal growth and the development of resilient behaviours and resources that we didn’t know we had. Hal Hershfield, Susanne Scheibe and Tamara Sims’ 2013 longitudinal study on the effects of a mix of positive and negative emotions over a ten year period, suggests that not only is it good...
Finding Paths to Resilience

Finding Paths to Resilience

Looking back at my own life journey, particularly over the last decade, I see my personal path to resilience as a series of blue sky days with golden sun-rays with some very grey days flooded by thundery showers. Yet despite some stormy times, I generally find myself celebrating life and walking a path of joy and gratitude. My discoveries and observations of resilient behaviours in myself and those around me, led me to become interested during my academic studies, in how people become, or remain resilient. Having met with many people who I am honoured to have had share their stories with me, I don’t think I am unique in my continued joie de vivre no matter what life brings me. In fact, as the years pass and I meet more people on my journey, I often learn of people’s abilities to live through incredible hardships, yet still celebrate life and face their days with happiness. So how is this possible? Is resilience magic or not? Looking back at past studies of the science of resilience, it seems the opinions of psychological researchers have continued to fluctuate. In 1979, M. Pines defined resilient children as “superkids”, whilst Ann Masten and Michael Rutter found that many children thrived, despite difficult beginnings.  Ann Masten’s research considers the phenomenon of thriving despite adversity as common to many, describing resilience as “ordinary magic”. In 2016, researchers Suniya Luthar and Frank Infurna’s study challenged the view that resilience is ordinary. They found that when facing difficulties, it is evident that not everyone copes in the same way as some individuals struggle with adverse life...