The medical profession has to alert you to the risks but due to the high-risk category, there was a constant dialogue about the difficulties.  I was lucky I had a very compassionate midwife, who helped keep my thoughts positive.  During the second trimester, I experienced antenatal anxiety and using the Positive Psychology theory and interventions helped shape the remainder of my pregnancy with that sense of glow and the antenatal anxiety slowly disappeared.

If there is one thing anxiety does – it robs you of your joy and I had waited so long to be a mother, I was going to enjoy every minute of the journey.  I listened to the medical profession and the risks, but I focused on positive emotions as what I was feeling and what my baby was feeling.  It was really important for me to reduce my stress levels and add more relaxation into my life.

What Went Well:

I used the What Went Well intervention (Seligman, 2011), where you focus on three positive things that happened that day.  I wrote in a diary every night before I went to bed.  This made me consciously consider the positivity that my day consisted of.  This then enhanced positive emotions.  Once I had chosen my three things, I would then talk to baby about our day, adding to the bonding experience.  I would complete my night’s ritual by telling my baby ‘I love you, night night’.

Shortly after I delivered the midwife asked if I spoke to my baby during pregnancy.  I said every day.  She said you can tell the mothers who speak to their babies during pregnancy by their baby’s reactions.  At the time I was recovering from a complicated birth, so I cannot recall what the exact difference is between mothers who speak to their babies during pregnancy and those that do not.  But it was nice to have had it noticed.

Self-Compassion:

I have quite a critical inner critic, which is active when I enter a new aspect of my life.  This happened in the first trimester before the first scan.  Hearing my baby’s heartbeat and seeing her in the scan helped me change my perspective.  I used the Self-Compassion work by Kristin Neff, who states ‘we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend’ (Neff, 2011).  I would never speak to a friend how I speak to myself, so revisiting the work of Neff, helped me realise how easy it is to fall into the pattern of not being good to yourself.

I used ‘changing your critical self-talk’, where you reframe your self-talk with compassion.  I also used meditation to generate a more peaceful inner being.  The Self-Compassion work is very empowering and it is something I will teach my daughter.  I wish I had this knowledge as a child because it would have made my earlier years more joyful.  My parents did the best job they could, based on the knowledge they had at the time.

Studying the MAPP has opened up a new horizon of flourishing.  My parents’ generation was taught how to survive because their parents experienced the Second World War, so surviving was the optimal state as they witnessed so much death and decay.  So, their teachings were valuable, but my contribution to our generational lineage will be to navigate the pathway of flourishing as I will now pass on my knowledge and love to my daughter.

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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The Pandemic has refocused our lives.  The restrictions have created a different way of living, a new perspective and reflection process.  For some of us, the treadmill of life has slowed down, for some, it has stopped completely and for some new ways of working.  The family dynamics have altered as social distancing and staying within the family home and not mixing is in place.  The sense of loss is felt in several areas of life, it can be through the death of loved ones, a loss of the workplace environment as furlough schemes and working from home increases and the loss of physical face to face contact with loved ones as we move to virtual meetups to stay in contact.  The loss of identity and lifestyles as life changes.  Even though there is an understanding of why this has had to happen, the uncertainty can be overwhelming.

The How of Happiness

In Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book ‘The How of Happiness’ (2010), she offers lots of activities that you can apply to your life to increase and sustain happiness in your life.  It is at times like this during the pandemic when things sometimes feel difficult, that taking some action can help cultivate positive thinking, motivation and a sense of faith.

The one I have found powerful at this time is expressing gratitude.  I am a secondary school teacher and the changes made to Education have been tough.  These changes are essential but working within an industry already known for excessive stress and burnout rates, the pressure has increased and to stop it imploding on my mental health as a negative effect, I have implemented certain strategies to help maintain my well-being.  Expressing gratitude is something that I already applied in my life, but I have given it a daily presence.  Lyubomirsky states that gratitude is an antidote to negative emotions.  It is a sense of thankfulness and appreciation for life.

Gratitude in the present moment

By focusing on gratitude, it allows you to be in the present moment, somewhere that the past and the future does not reside in.  Lyubomirsky states people who are consistently grateful have been found to be relatively happier, more energetic and more hopeful and to report experiencing more frequent positive emotions.  It is for this reason that I have increased the amount of Gratitude I use in my life.  The pressure is high offering the conditions for burnout.  Therefore, the need to cultivate more well-being interventions in my life.  When time is precious it so easy to not have enough time for everything and I am used to putting on hold those things that actually help create positive mental health, like exercise, taking walks in nature, taking regular breaks and the list goes on.  This time I made sure that I kept all these important things in my life, as so many changes were happening, I knew it was very important to do whatever I can to ensure I enhanced positivity into my life, so I could still turn up for my students with that brightness they deserve.

Gratitude Journal

I keep a gratitude journal and write all the things that I am thankful for each day.  It is good for refocusing the mind on the good side of life.  It doesn’t mean that you ignore the uncomfortable parts of life, but it helps you remain a balanced view of life.  Lyubomirsky states when a person is more inclined to gratitude, the less likely she or he is to be depressed, anxious and lonely.  Now, this gratitude journal does not transform you overnight.  It is a process.  It happens over time.  It needs to be a consistent process, a skill developed daily for optimum results.  It is like going to the gym weekly to sustain and improve your physical health. Your mental health needs to be treated the same.  It does not just work itself into a positive trajectory.  Mental Well-being needs to be nurtured, cultivated and embedded into your lifestyle.  It does not mean you are bulletproof to the adversities of life, but it does help build resilience, positive emotions and more mindfulness into your life.

Every day there is something to be grateful for.  It might not always be the big stuff, but the smaller ones.  These smaller ones happen every day and even though some days are tougher than others, these small moments of gratitude have a big impact.

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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The Power of Goal Setting to Activate Change

A couple of years ago I felt like I was going around in a circle.  I was in a good place in life, I had lots of successful moments, but the sense of flow seemed static.  There was something missing, even though I had all these past successes.  When I explored further the reason I landed at this place, was due to completing all my dreams.  I had been so focused on them, that in their completion, I had forgotten to make new ones.  I stood there thinking: What do I want now?  I had become bored with my comfort zone, yet I didn’t really know what was next?  This was new for me, as I was the teenager who knew what she wanted when she left school.

So began to read everything I could on goal setting.  I invested in a goal setting diary, so I could get more clarity where I wanted to be.  The goals are broken down into material, financial, emotional, mind-set, home-based, relationship and spiritual goals.  The first year it was a slow process, but I still continue this goal setting practice and this practice includes the following

Crystal Clear Intentions:

When your intentions are really clear they are more manageable and measurable.  Unclear intentions will keep you at the start line of any goal.  I find using vision boards, and Journals helps me to process this step.

Decide to Commit:

This requires you to actually do the work to achieve the goal.  I find putting a deadline on my goals helps to give them some urgency to them.  It just ensures that the goal doesn’t always end up on the bottom of my ‘to do’ list or stay as a wish.

Visualisation:

Visualisation helps your Subconscious Mind accept your goals.  The more you mentally rehearse the outcome of your goals, the more you can feel them.  The mind and body are interconnected and it is important that the thinking process is in unison with the feeling process.  This helps you to believe in you goals and helps generate motivation to attaining them.

Take Action:

You have to take each step necessary to achieving your goals.  They do not happen without some form of action.  Your goals need ‘motion’ in order to move forward.  This is how you get from where you are to where you want to be.

Patience:

Some goals takes time.  Manifesting doesn’t necessarily happen immediately.  It depends on the size of the goal.  So patience is really important.  However the more you work on your goals, the more you believe and the momentum eventually speeds up.

Mind-Set:

Mind-Set in its simplest form is to align your beliefs with your intentions.  If you are dreaming of something and your underlying belief is it will never happen, you are using a counteraction.  You are in inner conflict and this breaks the alignment required to keep your goal active.  If you self-doubt you are actually making a statement you do not want it to happen.  So Mind-Set is key.

Gratitude:

These steps helps towards achieving your goals – saying thank you to something that is not in your reality yet.  Gratitude keeps your goal setting humble, keeps your spirits up and increases your belief.

I wish you great success in preparing new goals for the New Year and a new decade.

About the author: Kelly Seaward completed her MSc Applied Positive Psychology course in 2018.  She advocates the teachings within this field of psychology in her own teaching.   She is also a qualified hypnotherapist, counsellor and psychotherapist. Her mission is to help teacher flourish positiveteachertherapy.weebly.com

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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I believe in divine timing and this really was the case when I delved into this wonderment of the human capacity for courage, vulnerability and empathy.  The aspect which is most compelling from the research Brown offers the world is her ability to courageously be honest about the depths of shame and the way it shapes human conditioning.

Brown’s concept of shame and how it plays out in different avenues of life, really resonated with me on a soul level.  It felt like delving into Pandora’s box were everything is brought to the surface and when you dig that deep, you have to rely on hope to help navigate you out, as once you are on this journey, the deeper you dig into your internal world and begin to understand the conditioning and the patterns, you have to take personal responsibility to move through the wilderness and out into the light.

There are no more excuses.  If you want to move forward you need to be honest, have the courage and be kind with yourself as you reform your internal world.  This research for me gave light to something that is played out in all walks of life and can be seen through all ages of time, but now there is a language, which has been built by many academic areas: psychology, spirituality, neuroscience, philosophy and so forth.  But for some reason, Brown words spoke to me on a soul level which helped me accept my transformation process.

Authenticity

The one thing about shame is it is really good and keeping us bound to our fears.  It keeps us in habit patterns which no longer serves us, it keeps us in unhealthy relationships, it keeps us in careers which no longer light our soul.  It generates the psychological brake being firmly on and then we become psychologically, emotionally and spiritually stuck.  When we become stuck we have more playtime with the negative emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness and so forth.

The journey of the wilderness is a return to our true self.  As we wonder the depths of the wilderness, this place of authenticity, we shed the psychological, emotional and spiritual layers of ourselves which are no longer needed.  This wilderness for me was an internal transformation.

It was something innate that on some divine plan of mine, which I in my human form did not know why, but that soul part of me seemed to understand.  The beginning of this wilderness, I found myself in an internal battle where resistance set in.  However once trust was put in place and I gave myself permission to go with the flow of these events that really did at the time feel out of my control, the wilderness journey was more comfortable.  The flow aspect helped me access more positive emotions such as joy, happiness and love.

There was still a deep sense of uncertainty but I let go of the need to know and the need for control.  When I moved into this internal space, the journey for authenticity had more clarity.  It is not that I was necessarily avoiding being my true self before.  There became an awareness that through age priorities change, circumstances change and perspectives change.  I still needed to work on removing limiting belief systems that I had not seen before and I needed to be free of them, but this wilderness for me was more like a mark of change due to my age.

True Belonging

The concept of the wilderness is we return to our true self and as I suggested earlier my true-self in this period of time where I found myself in the wilderness is a few years leading up to my 40th birthday.  I found myself really shedding layers of psychological and emotional baggage which opened me up to a deeper connection to my spirituality.  It is key here to reflect on Brown’s definition of true belonging: (Brown, 2017, p. 40).

True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.  True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.

It is the spiritual practice aspect of Brown’s definition for true belonging that really made sense to me.  As I shed the layers, I had more courage to open up my heart and this opening up of the heart really expands the spiritual side of humankind.  The biggest understanding I found when in my own personal wilderness was it created a spectrum of emotions.  The more fear dominated the more negative I felt, including depression.

The more I trusted the process, the more my faith grew and the more I accepted the quest, the more positive emotions – joy, happiness, gratitude and love entered my inner world.  I came to understand the depression I felt was a form of grief, as in the wilderness you are losing aspects of yourself as you transform and as the process evolved the darkness lifted and the light began to appear.

I think transformation is powerful and Brown’s words of Braving the Wildness helped me stay courageous, connected and empathetic through the process.  This life is one never-ending journey of change and our old-self doesn’t recognise the wilderness as so.  It is not until we become the newer versions, the truer versions of our self that we understand the whole journey.

About the author: Kelly Seaward completed her MSc Applied Positive Psychology course in 2018.  She advocates the teachings within this field of psychology in her own teaching and specialises in mental health and well-being for teachers.  Her mission is to help teacher flourish. positiveteachertherapy.weebly.com

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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Transformation of one decade to another…

The biggest thing that occurred to me is lots of transformation happened in my 30s.  It felt like a period where shedding things which no longer served my life, my beliefs and my dreams took place.  This was helping me find my authentic self.  The real me, the true self, which had been underneath a pile of other people’s expectations, society’s bench marks and family patterning.  Some done in the power of love and some born out of fear.  Either way their creation in my life needed validation, where as in my 20s I would say I was way more accepting of things on face value.  This life lens had zoomed in and took a close up of me.  By doing this and really getting to know myself better, it helped this lens figure out a way of zooming out but this time create a more balanced lifestyle.  The desire to climb the corporate ladder from my 20s and early 30s subsided due to a work-related stress illness which created mild stroke like symptoms in my body.  I wouldn’t like to say I took my health for granted before my health declined.  I actually believed I was healthy.  I ate a healthy diet, I didn’t smoke, I exercised regularly and yet my body become so depleted by the workload of teaching, it literally started to stop working.  What I didn’t take into consideration was the NEED and the POWER of REST.  I wasn’t taught this and neither was it role modelled to me.  The first time I learnt about the importance of self-care was when I needed to restore myself from burn out.

The Inner Critic…

When examining my physical health during my recovery of work-related stress came the acknowledgement of my emotional, mental and spiritual health.  This is when I got curious about my thoughts and how I spoke to myself on a daily basis and its intrinsic relationship with my emotional and spiritual self.  This inner triad of abundance which I had been ignoring, not out of being ignorant, but my consciousness had not made room for it before.  This is when I realised I had spent years being an inner critic which did not act as my cheerleader.  It was negative, unhelpful and quite toxic.  The never ending cycle of ‘I am not good enough’ played on repeat – a continuous loop and this had a major impact on my emotions.  The liberation came when I realised I had control and I needed to change a really bad habit of negative self-talk into one that supports, encourages and most importantly nurtures me.  This I soon realised was challenging because I expected instant change, but as this habit had been with me for over 35 years, changing it over night was incredibly unrealistic.  However like training the physical body, once you develop a skill over time, it becomes easier.  I still haven’t mastered it and the journey of transforming and healing my inner world has brought up pain and even tears, but each time I shed that tear, feel that pain, is a step nearer to am I good enough.  I am enough just as I am.  Love, especially self-love doesn’t require a list of attributes, qualifications, exceptional experiences.  It requires you believing in yourself, being kind to yourself and being yourself.  As Eckhart Tolle says ‘Get the inside right.  The outside will fall into place.’  So, as I close the chapter on my 30s, I feel invigorated and excited about the decade which I enter because this decade I get to take the teaching of cultivating a prosperous inner world with me.  I have the knowledge which will be expanded upon and the message of I am good enough will radiant within me, instead of being a faint but growing presence like it has been in my 30s.  I then plan to share this message of I am good enough across my teaching, so my students do not need to wait until their 30 to begin to experience the power of its presence.  It will be like an echo, reaching all those that need it, near and far, so they can live in love and not bound by their fear.

About the author: Kelly Seaward  is a teacher and completed her MSc Applied Positive Psychology course in 2018.  She advocates the teachings within this field of psychology in her own teaching as a hypnotherapist, counsellor and psychotherapist.  Kelly  now specialises in mental health and well-being for teachers.  Her mission is to helps teachers to reconnect to their passion for teaching, so their students can love learning  positiveteachertherapy.weebly.com

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Unknown waters

In leadership you sometimes have to lead into unknown waters if you want things to continue to grow. Therefore, you need to feel comfortable in what is not yet to be seen and trust the flow of experience to bring you exactly at the right destination as well as guide the people you are leading. In your uncertainty you need to still provide the confidence, faith and trust as you stand in your authenticity.

To be a leader you need to learn the balance of when to let things go, which no longer serve a purpose, no matter how long the process has been in place with bringing in changes that are needed to move things forward. It is also knowing that not everyone you meet along your leadership journey will complete the whole journey with you. It is about having integrity and knowing that your leadership has a ripple effect into the world as you interact with each person you meet. This is about shining your light bright so each person you work with increases in their light as they work with you. When you keep your leadership authentic, honest and positive you will always be a blessing in this world, because you have encouraged and enhanced someone else’s self-worth and self-love. You become a beacon to make a positive difference in the world.

Being an authentic leader

Being an authentic leader is about having the necessary knowledge and skill and being able to apply them appropriately. It is also about being connected to your true purpose, staying true to your values and appreciating the work you do and the people you lead. It’s about knowing your fears and not armouring yourself against them as this blocks the flow of leadership and disconnects the relationships you build as your fears become the leader and not you. It is about active listening to all the people involved and balancing this with listening to your inner voice. It is like being the conductor in an orchestra where you bring harmony to all, as you create your masterpiece.

Authentic Leadership requires dedication, determination and drive. It requires you to do the inner work, the internal transformation work as understanding yourself with great clarity is essential. This is so your limiting beliefs, which will be there don’t restrict you. So, they don’t bound you in those fears. It helps you keep focused and liberates you into the greatness being a leader has. It is about understanding the potential within, so it can emerge into the external world. The more you get to know yourself, the deeper connection you have with yourself and the more empowering to others you become.

About the author: Kelly Seaward became a teacher in 2003, graduating from The Central School of Speech and Drama. She is also a qualified hypnotherapist, counsellor and psychotherapist. Currently she is a MAPP student at New Bucks University. Kelly specialises in mental health and well-being for teachers and helps teachers to reconnect to their passion for teaching.
www.positiveteachertherapy.weebly.com

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The Positive Psychology People is co-founded and sponsored
by Lesley Lyle and Dan Collinson,
Directors of Positive Psychology Learning and authors of the
8-week online Happiness Course

The post Authentic Leadership appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

Knowing yourself

The first thing I found out is I know myself really well in the ‘doing’ mode of life. I am determined, ambitious, passionate about what I do, extremely organised, reliable, friendly, speak my mind, get things done – not waiting around boom they are done!

I also know myself really well with the many different facets of roles I play. Whatever role I am in I have these basic ingredients: empathetic, caring, nurturing, I will give you my time (hours of it), I have the ability to say the right thing at the right time and I am very honest with it. What I found out is I didn’t know myself that well in the ‘being’ mode of life. My ‘being’ sense of life had been drowned out by helping others and all the multitude of tasks to do with work, keeping a home, having car and you know the rest.

Your authentic self

So to achieve this personal goal of mine – to get to know the authentic me better. I soon realised I need to spend more time learning me as a being. To be honest I still don’t know if I ever knew this side of me before I went on this journey of authenticity or it just got lost with trying to do too much. However, it has been an empowering journey.

Your energy

The first thing I noticed was the connection I had with my energy – the life force in me. If we are talking terms, the Chinese call it Chi, the Native Americans call it the Great Spirit and the Indians call it Prana. There are many variations and names given, but for me, here and now I am going to refer to it as energy. At first I just became really conscious of when I felt energerised and when I felt drained. The conscious awareness of my energy was the centre to me living mindfully. The sense of being was a consistent flow of positive energy that created great peace within and more joy in the interactions with my external world. The more I focused on attaining this sense of being, the more time I spent in it and the easier it became to connect and sustain this aspect of me. I already knew I could not create mindful living from negative thinking and emotions: anger, sadness, frustration and so forth. Those emotions that make your energy feel stuck, dense and tired. So I moved from knowing to consciously redirecting my thoughts to positive ones, which changed my emotional state which entered me into this bliss of being. The more I practiced this mindful approach to my very busy life, the less tired I felt, the more joy I felt and somehow I had more time. Now don’t get me wrong I am still living in the same twenty-four-hour universe you are, but I seem to get more done, felt less stressed and I could see tangible results in the projects I was doing. I felt more present when I spent time with my family and friends and I really slept well. Something I haven’t done for decades. I moved from busy doing life to the productive being one.

Doing an energy inventory

I did an energy inventory of everything: the people I spend my time with, the colours of clothing I wore, the style of clothing, the stuff in my house that I accumulate over time, the things I buy because I tell myself I ‘need’ them and so forth. The places I regularly visited, the places I should visit more often like woodland areas where I find peace, grounding and the rejuvenating process. I energy inventoried the exercise I did (what did my soul like doing and what was I doing just to keep fit?). Every aspect of my life has begun an energy inventory process not from a to do list mode, just as it comes up from a sense of being.

The New Year resolution is still shaping, the authenticity is still exploring, but the fundamental thing I have learnt on this journey is we rarely give ourselves the time to get to know ourselves, I mean put the self as a conscious priority not just an autopilot transmitted version of us. Finding me is about the relationship we have with ourselves, I strongly believe that this is the key to mindful and blissful living which needs a voice, a platform, a recognition in our lives. In giving my authenticity a voice, a platform, I have sustained a more appreciative, energised and happier me.

About the author: Kelly Seaward became a teacher in 2003, graduating from The Central School of Speech and Drama. She is also a Hypnotherapist, Counsellor and Psychotherapist. Currently she is a MAPP student at New Bucks University. Her passion is helping people to live positive, more joyful lives through changing their mind-sets, self-development and education.
www.silentblessing.co.uk

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The Positive Psychology People is co-founded and sponsored
by Lesley Lyle and Dan Collinson,
Directors of Positive Psychology Learning and authors of the
8-week online Happiness Course

The post Finding Me appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

The natural duality of life will send you storms and sunshine as you meander your way through the unknown path of life. There is power, real inner power being able to see the sunshine through the darkest of storms. This is not easy and may not come as you are experiencing the storm, it can come if you let your mind drift there after the turbulence as you give yourself permission to view things from different perspectives.

What is the Emotional Carousel?

So, what is this Emotional Carousel? It is full of life lessons, it is full of time that has past, it is you in the here and now, it is transparent as well as a solid feeling force when the control and balance is tilted away from your central core, your central being. It is your blueprint full of all the aspects that makes you – you, the past you, the present you and the future you.

It is full of the all the cycles you have had, and it has the ability for ever changing if you let the Carousel flow. It can have momentum and move you along or it can act like an anchor keeping you stationary. This stationary position felt over time, will feel like being stuck because flow feels absent.

It is full of the rainbow of emotions that pendulums between the spectrum of fear and love allowing you to feel all those other emotions along the pendulum line. It can be harnessed to a set point of love, peace and joy, but only if you embrace the journey of the duality dimension. You cannot experience night without day and so this duality exists within the power of the emotional body, which is the power of your story.

Stories and collective connections

Each story is individual but with collective connections that runs through the human experience, each story has an inspirational code, which will help one person through their storm. Whether you shine your light to transform one person from the storm into the rays of sunshine or encompass inspiration for a tribe of people, the ripple of inspiration from our stories on this Emotional Carousel will continue to move us towards our triumph.

The power of positive psychology

This is the power of Positive Psychology, it is not asking to forget, avoid or displace the storms in our lives, it is searching, researching, collaborating and sharing what creates that human spark that drives hope, compassion, resilience, happiness and all those wonderful areas of life that now umbrellas under Positive Psychology.

It provides the science behind the spirituality of humanity. Where we shift from surviving to thriving. Where we can see ourselves at our best, where we stop dimming our light and let it glow because we move from shame-led thinking and living to more heart-led. We have entrenched centuries of the power of fear and it serves a purpose for survival, but in this paradigm shift fear cannot only be the fuel driving us forward. Love must play its part.

So, this Emotional Carousel can either be led by fear, led by love or have a duality of both. It is a personal choice full of personal responsibility to get to know ourselves, so we navigate with authenticity. It is about evolving through the spectrums of the stages of life, ever unfolding and ever blossoming. Sharing kindness, setting boundaries and belonging to a tribe where they work with you so you all shine bright.

The Emotional Carousel is your inner emotional compass guiding you. Staying connected even in those times where you have disconnected and have forgotten to listen to the inner core of you. It pulses a rhythmic pattern that can be tuned to create wonderment or destruction. It is the life force within us that always has the potential to be great, the key is to know what authentically is great for you.

It moves around with meaning and purpose at its core. Each Emotional Carousel is coded differently, not one is the same. It is like the Earth orbiting around the sun. The Earth has its own individual orbit has its journeys around the sun. We have our own emotional orbit around this quest of life.

About the author: Kelly Seaward became a teacher in 2003, graduating from The Central School of Speech and Drama. She is also a Hypnotherapist, Counsellor and Psychotherapist. Currently she is a MAPP student at Bucks New University. Her passion is helping people to live positive, more joyful lives through changing their mind-sets, self-development and education. www.silentblessing.co.uk

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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The need to rest and play

With the busy, rushing and fast paced life styles that is so easy to adopt in this modern world, the need for rest and play seems to be an afterthought. As we activate our daily lives in the doing mode, we build tension and stress levels which slowly over time impact on our emotional, physical and mental wellbeing. As the demands for Ofsted ready, lesson plans, resources, tracking, assessment, professional development, differentiation, intervention… the work pile increases, the time decreases, and your mind struggles to shut of at the end of the day because there is still so much left to do. We focus on the scarcity – what’s not done, who hasn’t reach their progress level, which student caused a negative impact on the class, who’s in detention and the list goes on. The draining effect on energy levels while focusing on the negativity reduces creativity and expansion. This does need to be acknowledged but it is important to access the positive outcomes to maintain an equilibrium.

The need for self-care

The need for self-care is highly important in a pressurised teaching world. The act of putting you first because your energy levels and wellbeing needs restoring is fundamental in optimal functioning. It is about moving from the ‘doing’ lane and moving into the ‘being’ lane and more importantly having a balance of both. The balance brings a calmness in which energy can flow, it provides happiness because you bring back the control, as you become the pilot of your life, navigating the way that is right for you.

Self-care comes in all disguises: sitting down to drinking your favourite tea, getting a massage, doing a hobby you love, spending time with loved ones, doing something new, travelling, sitting in the sun, reading a book, dancing, listening to music and the list goes on, as self-care is a personalised attribute of life, as what provides self-care for one may not be self-care for another, but it’s essential purpose is to refuel. To uplift our spirit, live in the moment and to melt the tension from our hearts and find the inner peace that being busy distorts.

It about the feeling the calmness of a snow layers landscapes brings, the quietness of body, mind and spirit. It is about the joy your heart brings when you are so deeply connected to it. It is about you giving yourself permission to stop. It is about giving yourself permission to do something you love. It is about giving yourself permission to not continue with a schedule.

Self-care does not need to be only be given in holiday times, but little moments of self-care throughout your day, so you don’t become an empty vessel.

About the author: Kelly Seaward became a teacher in 2003, graduating from The Central School of Speech and Drama. She is also a Hypnotherapist, Counsellor and Psychotherapist. Currently she is a MAPP student at New Bucks University. Her passion is helping people to live positive, more joyful lives through changing their mind-sets, self-development and education.
www.silentblessing.co.uk

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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A lightness, a soft glow and an expanding energy field which helps us attract our desires, hopes and dreams.

It makes you feel like flying, being free and a peacefulness in your heart.

It is light and has the ability to connect souls, a community energy where we are all at one.

It is where our greatest confidence lies, the strongest part of our self-worth and the deepest part of our self-love.

It provides warmth, the ability to have clear judgement and allows you not to take life too seriously.

It is about having personal responsibility but understanding how fun can be part of the journey.

It is the happiest part of us.

Under the winds of time, it offers multidimensional pathways for life.

It’s glimmer of hope, faith and belief which all sit in a transparent vibration for all of us to touch upon.

It is a constant stream of support which can be clearly seen in the depths of suffering, or by the most awakened souls.

It journeys, meander through highs and lows offering threads of understanding to the lives we live.

It draws on the mysteries of life – yet there is no secret code, just a trust in something greater than the human self.

Something that connects us all but at the same time allows us to be individual with our unique attributes.

All of us a puzzle part in a divine plan. All connected through the flow of compassion.

What is compassion?

Compassion is the key to unlock the stress of our lives and live in abundance, not because we attract more stuff into our lives or attain more goals. It is not the part that we constantly wait for before we live our dreams. Its best place is in the moment, no matter what the circumstances. It is a silent part that can easily be drown out by the chaos life sometimes becomes. It awakens more when we are in our sense of being not doing. It can be felt easier when we are having fun, spending time with those special people in our lives and doing things we are most passionate about. To have more of it in our lives we have to feel it daily, it’s like developing a skill, the more you expand, the stronger it becomes.

It is something that needs to be taught in schools, not information for the mind, but emotional information for the soul. It needs to be the foundation in all our relationships as it nourishes every aspect of us.

Compassion and thriving

Compassion is the birthplace of thriving, soaring high, living gracefully and embracing the wonders of the world. Not just those immense physical places but those magical places deep within us. It is a shining light that continues to glow no matter if the darkness has set in.

It is hope, it is resilience, it is a promise that we are worth it. It is being your own best friend. Being your own cheerleader for both the celebrations and victories we experience and also in those times, which appear bleak. It is authenticity in its greatness. It is the door to positivity.
It is the moments when we feel most alive, the most connected and the most heart-led.

It is us when we fully embrace love.

About the author: Kelly Seaward became a teacher in 2003, graduating from The Central School of Speech and Drama. She is also a Hypnotherapist, Counsellor and Psychotherapist. Currently she is a MAPP student at New Bucks University. Her passion is helping people to live positive, more joyful lives through changing their mind-sets, self-development and education.
www.silentblessing.co.uk

Podcast Version

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post Compassion Is… appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.