The vomiting started, we knew something was coming because nursery prewarned us of the cases of children who had experienced the ‘sickness bug’.  Their utter professionalism and dedication to the children in their care made me on high alert and definitely shaped the actions I took.  Then came the temperature and we just could not settle it.  My daughter is vibrant, full of life and loves dancing.  But she just did not have any of this in her.  Then I just could not keep fluids down her and she became lethargic.  Time for some help.

The Accident & Emergency part of the hospital processed us very quickly.  Within an hour my daughter was on a drip.  I remember the nurse coming to see me after the drip was completed and say ‘well done mummy, you were brave.  A lot of mothers break at that part’.  I completely empathise. It took all my might to hold back my own tears as my daughter screamed, one from the pain and two from the unknown.  As much as you want to be that reassuring parent, sometimes you just don’t know!  I did a hypnobirthing course to prepare me for birth, and I did not realise just how powerful these techniques would be not just in birth, but the transferable methods that grounded me in a sense of calmness, which my daughter so needed.  Her blood sugars had lowered to a dangerous level and the nurse said we would have had a completely different outcome if I had not come in when I did (one I cannot bear to comprehend). 

We were then transferred to ward for the night.  I gave those awful phone calls to grandparents, who passed the message onto our loved ones and we all just had to wait this one out.  My daughter was monitored every two hours and administered the medication she needed to stabilise her blood sugars.  It was exhausting, but as mummy you find the strength to keep going.  I remember sending my husband home with a very detailed list of what to put in our overnight bag.  I am the type of person, that packs for everything.  At this point we had no idea when we would be sent home and this was something in my control.

Thankfully the medication worked, and my daughter started to heal.  We were lucky to be sent home the next day.  My daughter was diagnosed with Ketotic Hypoglycaemia.  A condition which is the result of low blood sugar (hypoglycaemia) and the presence of high levels of ketones in the blood.  It is common that children grow out of this by the time they are five years old.  We have a repeated prescription of glucose which I must have ready if she gets into this condition again.  My daughter has now gained a more relaxed mummy around eating chocolate as this is my daughter’s go to sugar.  Don’t get me wrong it is still within a balanced diet, but my daughter seems to know when she needs something to boost her.  We have been under the supervision of the hospital, and we finally got that all clear we don’t need to go anymore, and the GP will be our guide.  Unless another extreme case occurs, but so far, we have managed to live with it well. 

On reflection of this journey, it has reconnected me to the literature on Mental Toughness.  Zahariades (2020), defines Mental Toughness as ‘our durability in the face of adversity’.  He gives recognition to the fact that ‘raising children involves uncertainty and fear’ (Zahariades, 2020, p. 15), which navigating through this terrain of the unknown, sometimes uncomfortable and a profound sense of protection, being a parent absolutely encompasses the attributes of Mental Toughness.  

As Zahariades (2020), states: Raising healthy, confident, capable, self-sufficient children requires weathering times of stress, fear and guilt.  But it also embraces wholehearted love, laughter, joy and connection.  

Listen to the Deep Dive podcast that discusses this article

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

The post Motherhood and Mental Toughness appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

Exploring Positive Psychology and Therapy over a long period makes you identify, analyse and reflect on your inner world with a greater awareness as you explore the depths of these domains.  When becoming a mum and knowing you are responsible for the physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health of your child, the impact of those early years is paramount to the development of your child across their lifespan.  We are as parents responsible for the conditioning, those inner patterns that are created and then become the foundations for their habits and subconscious drives that either become effective contributors to our children’s’ lives or ineffective.

However, before we become effective or ineffective drivers for our children, we must apply our self-awareness to scrutinise how effective or ineffective we contribute to our own lives.  What subconscious drives, our own inner patterns are we running our own lives on?  Are they helping towards creating a flourishing life or are we on groundhog day allow our inner scripts to run on autopilot in the background and feeling discontent with life?  Do we know those inner scripts?  Do we stop and take moments of reflection before we add more to our never-ending to-do list?

Taking action changes lives.

The one thing I have noticed is that I know a lot of stuff about self-development and psycho-emotional development.  I have a Character Strength when completing the Values in Action (VIA) survey of a ‘Love of Learning’, so learning is an important part of my life.  I have the knowledge and at times I apply this knowledge as knowledge alone does not create transformation.  Taking action changes lives.  Before I was a mum, I was inconsistent with the application of transformation.  I wanted change, my emotional body was definitely giving me the internal messages of change, but I would start and stop the approaches that I wanted to do.  Becoming a mum has been my biggest motivator to take ACTION.

The biggest obstacle I have had to overcome in my lifetime is negative thinking.  My self-talk.  I know I am not alone on this journey as I have had the privilege of sharing this self-discovery with others who too embark on the transformation of their inner world.  During my childhood I experienced a very messy divorce of my parents.  Being the eldest child meant a huge responsibility fell on me.  The darkness of this messy divorce left a lot of inner turmoil.  My friends say I have a lot of inner strength and resilience, which I don’t always see, but has come through this experience.

The effects of my parents’ divorce did not fully explode until many years later, in fact 23 years later when my aunt died unexpectedly.  The helplessness and hopelessness of my aunt’s death opened the floodgates to the helplessness and hopelessness I felt as a teenager when my parents divorced.  It was an immense emotional release that was painful.  I was in the middle of my Applied Positive Psychology Masters feeling anything but positive.  I was grieving my aunt’s departure from this world and dealing with the teenage girl inside me that hadn’t had the time to process the divorce and the impact it had on me because I went straight into caring for my younger siblings.  The biggest lesson I learnt here was to be authentic, be honest and trust the process of this inner awakening.

Be Proactive.

When exploring the work of Stephen R. Covey and reflecting on the inner avalanche of emotions that transpired during my aunt’s death, I was proactive and not reactive.  The reactive version would be to blame my parents for divorcing in the first place, but we were all suffering with our own versions of pain in the breakdown of this marriage and it would not have given me the healing I needed. Convey (2013), explains being proactive as being value-driven.  Carefully thinking and selecting the values you want in your life and internalising them.  The proactive approach is to change from the inside out.  It is this approach I want to apply to being a mother.  This is the gift I want to give to my daughter – be value-driven and live by her principles.

References:

Covey, S.R. (2013). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Simon & Schuster. New York. USA

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Five appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

While my baby daughter grows, each milestone is important and embeds the foundation of her emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual health. Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology stated when he searched what parents want the most for their child, their response was happiness (Seligman, 2011). This helped formed his concept for Positive Education. This is also such a big
question for all parents – How do we create the foundation for happiness for our children? What is happiness? Howcan we sustain happiness? All these questions plus the juggling of the day-to-day activities. In reflection I thought I would start by looking at how the habits in our lives create happiness or despair. Also, how can I as a mother, use this information to help create healthy patterns for my daughter, so she doesn’t have to spend her adulthood unpicking stuff that just gets in the way. Is this even possible?

What is a habit?

‘A habit is a routine or behaviour that is performed regularly – and, in many cases automatically’ (Clear, 2018, p. 6). My daughter is currently building her habits like brushes her teeth every day, going to bed at a set time (on most days) and so forth. She is at the stage where observing her environment is key to her developmental learning and is a prime time to implement habits that will empower her. These habits
at the moment are eating healthy, this does not mean avoid all those ‘treats’, but to install balance. I gave up my gym membership when I was pregnant and returned to working out at home like I did during the COVID lockdowns. I allow my daughter to join in, she may just sit on my yoga mat and watch me or get involved in her own little way. But she sees me do this regularly. This has made me more motivated to
keep up with the weekly exercise schedule because I know it not only benefits me but also grows a subconscious pattern for my daughter that exercise is important. We have also focused on books and she is at the stage where she can turn the pages herself and tell us a story in her own words as she is still yet to develop her speech, however she does know how to say the word ‘NO’. She also enjoys us reading to her and will now pick the book she wants read. These seem so simple, but when looked over time, the power of loving reading will assist her motivation for studying later in life or simply being emerged in a book for pleasure and activating a more mindful approach. The exercise will not only keep her body healthy, but also her mind as exercise creates endorphins, which help relieve pain, reduce stress and improve well-being.

Focus on the System

While exploring the literature on habits, this quote stood out ‘Goals are good for setting a direction. Systems are best for making progress (Clear, 2018, p. 24). I knew this before I read this quote, but it was like I was reading with fresh eyes, a heightened awareness of some sort. Clear suggests that focusing on the end result – ‘the goal’ doesn’t help towards an embedded approach to habits. Following this method is the easiest way to revert back to your original pattern and not sustaining your habit over time because once your goal is achieved then the
momentum to continue can reduce. However, if you focus on following a system then the momentum to continue the habit is stronger and exceed after the goal is achieved. This all depends on the intended change, sometimes you may need to continue a habit over time for example exercising and eating healthy. But if the habit is a one off goal, you may not need to continue the habit or the intensity of the habit.
So why has this aspect obtained emphasis? In teaching my daughter about habits, I need to be more engaged with the system of implementing and embedding habits rather than goals with an end result. System focus allows for less disappointment
because it is the process. The exploration of this was drawing parallel concepts to Dweck’s Mindset theory (2012), where the effort should be commended and not just the attainment to develop a growth mindset. I am a crucial person in helping my daughter build her habits and the greater awareness I have, the greater impact I can have.

References:
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits. Penguin Publishing Group.
Dweck, C. (2012). Mindset: How you can fulfil your potential. London Robinson.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness
and well-being. Atria Paperback.

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Four appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

I have said in a previous blog, I had my daughter at 42, so she is a great blessing because I overcame fertility issues.  In her presence, I daily journey with her in great wonderment as she learns, develops, and grows in this world of ours.  I feel a calling to share my experience of motherhood for reasons I am still uncovering, but in this, I give the intention to hope it touches, inspires, or helps others because words are a powerful tool for transformation, connection, and compassion.

While at home with my daughter on maternity leave, which I was very lucky to have the first year off with her.  When she took her naps, I became accustomed to the YouTube app on my TV.  One of my Character Strengths from working with Values in Action (VIA) on the MAPP is ‘love of learning’, which comes under the virtue of wisdom (Linley, 2008).  This strength has been the driver of my chosen career as a teacher and the journey into mediumship in my thirties and I only connected the dots during the strengths-based development and engagement module on the MAPP.  I knew I needed to keep this Character Strength nurtured otherwise it affects my energy levels and there is one thing a new mum needs and that is energy.  While nurturing this virtue, I watched the teaching of Gabor Maté.  I had come across his work by reading ‘When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress’ (Gabor Maté, 2019).  I find his insight and knowledge about brain development fascinating.

Neurons that fire together, wire together.

The most profound message, which I already knew due to my extensive training in mental health and Positive Psychology was the “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”  Here I was with the responsibility of laying the foundations into the habit patterns that will shape my daughter for the trajectory of her lifespan.  A very powerful and meaningful role and one I am going to do consciously and intentionally.  I am not deluded, I am aware that subconscious drivers will play their part and there will be many moments of imperfection, but there are things I want to ensure my daughter has to equip her in her life.

Laughter Yoga

The first one is ‘laughter’.  I practice Laughter Yoga, which is prolonged voluntary laughter with my daughter daily.  This came from the work of our lovely co-founder of The Positive Psychology People – Lesley Lyle.  We were meant to have a session with Lesley on the MAPP, however, she actually could not make the session and our lecturers at the time Matthew Smith and Piers Worth conducted it.  The profound lesson I learnt is I wait for something funny to make me laugh and I wait a very long time.

My parents had a messy divorce, so happiness and laughter were always short-lived.  Laughter increases endorphins, which are the happy hormones in the brain.  My daughter and I have been doing daily Laughter Yoga since she began to laugh. Now she is older, we do it more than once a day and I join in every time she laughs.  It not only wires those neurons, but it also increases our positive connection as we share laughter together.  It is also rewiring my neurons from waiting for something to make me laugh to giving myself permission to laugh for absolutely no reason.  So, getting back to Maté, brain development in the first three years is fundamental to the development of the brain and the internal messages we send ourselves throughout our lives.  Some of the programming this early can still be deeply ingrained and affect us as adults.

Therefore, I know this journey of Laughter Yoga with Ava (my daughter) will create and cultivate core positive foundations that she will now have in her psychological and emotional toolbox that we will continue to develop together.  My main message for Ava is that we do not need to wait for something funny to laugh.  We can laugh without a reason because it makes us feel better.  It lifts our spirits, and it promotes happiness.

References:

Linley, A. (2008). Average to A+ : realising strengths in yourself and others. Capp Press.

Kern, M. L., & Wehmeyer, M. L. (2021). The Palgrave handbook of positive education. Palgrave Macmillan.

Maté, G (2019). When the body says no: the cost of hidden stress. Vermilion.

Norrish, J., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2015). Positive Education: the Geelong Grammar School journey. Oxford University Press.

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

‌

The post Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Three appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

Bella entered our home in 2010.  A cute kitten, full of energy and love.  The decision to become a pet owner was due to my burnout experience months before.  During my recovery, I knew I had to change my lifestyle.  The classic I am a teacher and the system broke me.  I wanted a reason, that when I returned home from work, I had something else to focus on rather than trying to use that time to complete a never-ending to do list, that I had no hope of ever fulfilling.  Someone suggested having a cat.

So, the journey of Bella and I began.

How does Positive Psychology apply?

If we take the PERMA model that underpins Positive Psychology, having pets really activates each component.

Positive Emotions: The happiness, the laughter, the compassion and the love that exist between a pet and its owner is flourishing in its abundance.  I am talking about owners who have unconditional love for their pets.  The action of caring for your pet produces Oxytocin, the ‘love drug’ within the brain. All those cuddles produce a steady stream of Oxytocin, that helps combat stress and depression.  Obviously, when they depart this world for the next, the loss is incredibly painful due to the fact you loved them so much.

Positive Engagement: This component requires you to be present in the moment.  Your mind is not wandering onto other things other than what you are doing right at that specific moment of time.  I found this one difficult at first as multi-tasking was a key attribute in how I managed my life.  When you give yourself permission to enter what is known as the flow state it has a positive effect on your mental health.  This can be fully present while feeding your pet, playing, cuddling and so on.

Positive Relationships: If you have a relationship based on love and compassion with clear and healthy boundaries you have positive relationships.  Bella use to greet me when I returned home.  She would either sit at the front window or she would run across our extension and jump down and sit herself on our front garden wall.  When my now husband moved in with Bella and me, if he was home before me, he would know when I was due home as Bella would tell him.  This is something I missed so much when she passed.  What a moment to create a smile in you, when someone is happy you are home.

Positive Meaning: I believe there is nothing more meaningful in life than being the light for someone else and they ignite the light within you simply based on sharing this life together.

Positive Accomplishment: The accomplishment was that I created 11 happy years for Bella.  She was very poorly in the end and I decided to bring her home so we could say goodbye.  Her death occurred during Covid and I would not have had the opportunity to kiss her goodbye due to all the restrictions put in place.  My husband and I are mediums, so I knew I had made the right decision to bring her home.  She had another 17 days with us.  The night she died I felt compelled to read the bible, so as she sat without much life left, I read her the bible while stroking her fur.  She gave me this very loud cry.  In the morning when I woke, she had passed and she looked so peaceful.  Just as in her life she knew the tremendous love I had for her, which was mirrored in helping her travel over that rainbow bridge.

Am I crying while writing this – ABSOLUTELY!  A duality of sadness because she is no longer here and complete joy because she was here.  I want to thank her because I now share this love with my baby and a new cat Sapphire.  Let the love flow.  Not only within this world but between this world and the one where all our loved ones go.

References:

·      Hoare, E., Bott, D., & Robinson, J. (2017). Learn it, Live it, Teach it, Embed it: Implementing a whole school approach to foster positive mental health and wellbeing through Positive Education. International Journal of Wellbeing, 7(3), 56–71. https://doi.org/10.5502/ijw.v7i3.645

·      ‌Kristjánsson, K. (2012). Positive Psychology and Positive Education: Old Wine in New Bottles? Educational Psychologist, 47(2), 86–105. https://doi.org/10.1080/00461520.2011.610678

·      Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: a visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Atria Paperback.

·      Seligman, M. E. P. (2019). Positive Psychology: A Personal History. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 15(1), 1–23. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050718-095653

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post Transitioning into Motherhood – Part Two appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

‘The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefitting from you having none’

I have seen the above quote a few times on Facebook.  I usually write in line with empirical research regarding Positive Psychology, but within the spiritual practices I belong to, if you see something more than three times, you need to pay attention to it.  This is the reason why I feel empowered to write about boundaries.

Our modern culture has nearly everything on instant mode.  This can sometimes make our lives easier.  However, regarding our time it means that everything seems like a priority but you only have the same twenty-four hours a day to complete everything.  So, this quote got me pondering that time is precious and how much our thoughts and emotions contribute to this notion of time.

Seligman and Positive Emotions:

According to Martin Seligman (2011), Positive Emotions is the first element in his Well-being Theory.  It was also part of his original theory – Authentic Happiness.  Positive Emotion is linked with the pleasant life. Positive Emotions are also connected to the research of Barbara Fredrickson.  Fredrickson (2011), research suggests ten Positive Emotions: Love, Gratitude, Interest, Pride, Inspiration, Joy, Serenity, Hope, Amusement and Awe.  Tugade and Fredrickson, (2004) state Positive Emotions can undo the harmful effects of negative emotions and promote resilience.  They are also one of the key ingredients that promote flourishing.

Coming back to the theme of boundaries.  During the first lockdown when most things in life were restricted, I found I experienced a reflection process where I was reviewing all aspects of my life on a much deeper level than I have previously because I had the time to.  I was still working full time as a teacher but life had slowed down for the first time in such a long time, it allowed more time to savour moments and to really consider how my thoughts impact my well-being.  When you are constantly busy you almost put yourself on autopilot and mender through life on this frequency.  The Pandemic helped shift this process for me.  I am more aware of when my body is saying ‘No’, and I will try and give it the rest it needs.  I am more aware when my emotions are hindering me and I take the time to reset, so I experience more of those emotions that are enabling, the ones that create joy and inner peace.

Emotions are our Internal Sat Nav:

I am a strong believer that my emotions communicate my internal world.  When the negative ones set in, I try and work out what is needed.  Sometimes it can be as simple as my body needs more sleep or I have had a few days where I have not provided my body with nourishing food.  It can also be that I have been indoors too long working and I need fresh air and a walk-in nature.  I find my emotions lead to the more negative when there is a lack of balance between work and home.  A lack of exercise, because I have convinced myself I don’t have enough time. I am late home from work on a few consecutive evenings and grab quick food and my habit of cooking wholesome meals is forgotten.  For me it is all about the habits you create in your life that either direct you to flourishing or away from it.  Your emotions are a great inner resource to tell you how you are shaping your life.

Therefore, the quote above that the universe kept sending, in this instance was not about how I set boundaries with other people, but how I set boundaries with myself and how quickly I let go of all the things that keep me well when other things come up.  The habits which no longer serve me get upset when I put the necessary changes in my life.  They were benefitting a previous version of me and sometimes it takes a lot of energy and willpower to make the required changes.  The word balance is very important and I believe my emotions, my internal sat nav lets me know through positive emotions when I am in balance and through negative emotions when I am imbalanced or need to change.

I find that when I am authentic and serving my true self, setting boundaries with others becomes easier because the hardest person to set them with, is yourself.

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post The Importance of Boundary Setting for Optimising Positive Emotions appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

As a teacher embracing immense changes to working practices under the COVID guidelines, my profession, like many others found themselves with new challenges, learning to be adaptable, flexible and creative in how we managed this unpredictable time.  I am an advocate for Positive Psychology, I found the pressure on workload commitments tested my application of Positive Psychology in my own life.  Positive Psychology is the “scientific study of what goes right in life, from birth to death and all the stops in between: (White, 2016, p. 1).  Positive Psychology is a lifestyle.  You create wellbeing in your life through the activities you do.  This makes it a unique practice as we are all different.

Learn it, Live it, Teach it, Embed it

I felt I was tested on how I apply Positive Psychology in my life.  I completed the MAPP in 2018.  Here is where I learnt the world of Positive Psychology.  Now was the life test of how I applied it.  Knowledge is good, but transformation takes place in the application stage.  Taking action is how change happens.  This made me think of the Positive Education framework of ‘Learn it, Live it, Teach it, Embed it’ (Norrish 2015).  Positive Education “seeks to combine principles in Positive Psychology with best-practice teaching and with educational paradigms to promote optimal development and flourishing in the school setting” (Norrish, Williams, O’Connor and Robinson, 2013, p. 147).  This is a merge between Positive Psychology and Education.  Positive Education originated from a collaboration between Seligman, his peers and Geelong Gramma School in Australia.  This began in 2008 and has continued to develop, offering the world a framework for flourishing in schools.  Flourishing is at the core of what they do and they have four stages of application: Learn it, Live it, Teach it, Embed it.

Learn it

Learn it refers to the staff learning Positive Psychology.  This means every member who works for Geelong learns the science of Positive Psychology, from the teachers to non-teaching staff.

Live it

Live it refers to living all aspect of your life with the Positive Psychology principles.  You apply your preferred Positive Psychology activities to achieve the good life.  The good life which is defined by you.  It is simply about you and it applies to both personal and professional aspects of your life.

Teach it

Teach it requires you teaching Positive Psychology to the students.  The reason the students are not taught it first is that the teachers need to be authentically living Positive Psychology before they can share the practice with others.

Embed it

Embed it means Positive Psychology is embraced in the school culture.  It is woven into organisational policies, practices and processes.

Embracing ‘Live it’

Worked sufficiently increased.  Over the last few years, I have tried to maintain a work/life balance.  It tends to be more balanced on work, but life gets space.  In my early career days life was non-existence.  During COVID I found my time for exercise, mindfulness (yoga and meditation), reading, getting adequate sleep started to disappear.  I was working to a deadline; I need to get things done and those things that I applied for my wellbeing took a back sit as the time was filled with work.  This is not living a balanced life.  Therefore, I have taken the summer holidays to reset.  Bring back those things that make me well.  Give my body and mind the nourishment it needs and take time to reflect that these things are essential and make sure I do not take them off my schedule when work commences.  It is okay if at times we have to get things done, the pandemic asked us all to step up.  However, neglecting our wellbeing on a continuous basis is not good for us.  Give your body and mind what it needs to flourish.  This will mean you will be giving from a full cup, not an empty one.

Read more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post Positive Education – Live It appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

One of my roles is teaching drama and something very interesting took place with my year 11 students.  For their GCSE they have to create a devised piece of drama.  The requirement is the teacher provides a variety of stimuli for the students to explore and then they decide where this will take them in relation to the end product.

I used a photo stimulus of Pandora opening a box.  The interesting part of this story is most groups I have used this with in the past, explores the despair and negative effects of opening the box.  This group started doing exactly this, but when they came to the ‘Hope’ aspect, they started to explore what the positive side of this one virtue being left meant to them.  Without knowing it they had ventured into the world of Positive Psychology and they just happen to have a drama teacher, who is also a Positive Psychologist.  I completed my MSc Applied Positive Psychology in 2018.  The students know this and I do use concepts from Positive Psychology with them, but they were left to their own devices in how they wanted to explore this stimulus.  Here is where the two worlds that co-exist for me began to organically merge.

In the Presence of Hope – Is the Power of Everything.

‘Hope’ has a pivotal role in the Positive Psychology world and is defined as ‘Positive Expectations and feelings about the likelihood of desired events and outcomes occurring in the future’. (Norrish, 2015).  This group of students looked at the box in an alternative way.  What if on opening the box, instead of all the despair being unleashed into the world, what if all the positivity and wonders of the world were unleashed instead?  What would this look like?  What positive emotions will be felt by humanity?  Can this focus on positivity be sustained over time?

Lots of questions were explored and their drama piece began to look at the concept of your glass is half full, not empty.  They looked at worldwide events that have brought humanity to its knees and then looked for the positivity in each of these bleak events.  They saw the courage, compassion and bravery that people showed to live through those harsh times.  They saw the wisdom that was generated and pass down to younger generations so history should not repeat itself.  They saw the ‘Grit’ as people preserved through the suffering of such difficulty.  They saw the spirituality in believing in some greater than humanity.

Journaling with Hope at its core:

In reflecting on these aspects using journaling as a method, a piece of creative writing merged, which I used with the group:

‘Hope’ has a pivotal role with the Positive Psychology world and is defined as ‘Positive Expectations and feelings about the likelihood of desired events and outcomes occurring in the future’. (Norrish, 2015).  This group of students looked at the box in an alternative way.  What if on opening the box, instead of all the despair being unleashed into the world, what if all the positivity and wonders of the world were unleashed instead?  What would this look like?  What positive emotions will be felt by humanity?  Can this focus on positivity be sustained over time?  Lots of questions were explored and their drama piece began to look at the concept of your glass is half full, not empty.  They looked at world wide events that has brought humanity to its knees and then looked for the positivity in each of these bleak events.  They saw the courage, compassion and bravery that people showed to live through those harsh times.  They saw the wisdom that was generated and pass down to younger generations so history should not repeat itself.  They saw the ‘Grit’ as people preserved through the suffering of such difficulty.  They saw the spirituality in believing in some greater than humanity.

Journaling with Hope at its core:

In reflecting on these aspects using journaling as a method, a piece of creative writing merged, which I used with the group:

In the midst of times, the division between good and evil, positive and negative plays out on all stages of times.

Its presence echoes through generation after generation mapping out the distinction of our moral compass.

As each human soul explores this great land the emotions play pivotal roles in how we conduct ourselves and how we interact with others.

The primate essence within us all roars itself to fruition when we are not mindful of our actions.

Our intentions can be pure, but their consequences can leave a ripple effect that can become centuries old.

When Pandora opened the box, she did not consider the consequences outside of herself or outside of that moment. 

That came later.

But with all the chaos and devastation she caused, that one essential emotion of HOPE was left and this we choose to focus

When there is hope there is faith, when there is faith, there is a belief and within this belief, the power of change can be activated. 

These emotions are linked to the higher calling emotion of love. 

Where there is love, there is abundance and even though Pandora did not leave Love behind, it stands firmly with Hope and when we choose to see life through this lens. 

Heaven is on Earth.

Final Thoughts:

As you read this, I offer you the power of hope in all those dreams that you have left to explore and that love surrounds you on your journey of life.

Find out more about Kelly Seaward-Ding and read her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post In the Presence of Hope – Is the Power of Everything. appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.

‘Love, as it turns out, nourishes your body the way the right balance of sunlight, nutrient-rich soil, and water nourishes plants and allows them to flourish’  (Fredrickson, 2014, p. 4).

As the schools shut on 20th March 2020 and the teaching world embraced a new challenge of remote learning, what had been my ‘normal’ for just under two decades was turned on its head.  The routines I had in my ‘teacher identity’ had abruptly stopped and as the whole world embraced the unknown due to the Coronavirus.  The path ahead was unclear and unpredictable.

The Nourishment of Life

The ‘new normal’ of working from home had its challenges and pressures, but the reflection time gained when life had changes so much was priceless.  As the whole world slowed down, the retreat nature of lockdown opened up the internal gates to review life.  It is exactly this process that resonates with the above quote from Barbara Fredrickson.  In her book Love 2.0, Fredrickson offers her research on the positive emotion of Love. This idea of the ingredients of nourishment is what I started to pay attention to.  What does nourishment look like in my life?  And am I getting enough of it?  I feel that the nourishment of life will differ from individual to individual with some similarities on the way because it relies on our unique journey of life.  So, during this reflection time, this is what I found out.  Some I was completely aware of and some I had let fade into the background of my life.

Exercise is really important for physical and mental health.

I know this.  I had a passion for dance since a little girl and danced most of my life.  I taught dance as a secondary school teacher and I loved it.  Now it is the past tense, because I stopped teaching dance a few years ago and then I slowly stopped dance classes and before I knew it, I no longer did it as life and work got busy.  I started PE with Joe alongside thousands of people across the world to maintain my fitness.  I have a gym membership and because they were shut, I needed to find another way of exercising.  What I learnt here is that joy started returning into my fitness, because I had time for it.  I used what would be my commuter journey time to exercise.  Even though I was exercising, I was resisting it as it took time away from catching up on my teacher workload!  Teachers never catch up on workload, as one thing is complete something else replaces it.  The lockdown made me realise that I was not showing up to my exercise with positivity, I was almost resenting the time it took.  This I changed, and I now feel more joy and excitement that I have taken the time out for me.  I feel like I have released a lot of guilt that I was dedicating some time for me and a clear approach of managing my time.

Walking in Nature

I live 5 minutes from a lovely canal full of lovely walks.  I have lived in my current house for 7 years and have never walked the canal!  I just did not have time.  I knew it was nearby but that was it.  I walked most days down the canal to create a boundary of the moment when I had finished work for the day, as it is some times difficult to separate work and life when you work from home.  I have kept this as a practice, not a daily one, but a weekly one.  Walking in nature is good for mental health, as it provides moments of mindfulness and it allows you get fresh air.

Sleep

Sleep is very important and feeling overwhelmed with workload sometimes disturbs my sleep as I wake up at 3am and think of all the things I need to do!!!!! I still had a lot do but it was somehow different.  As the pace of the day slowed down I found my sleep patterns improved.  When you have the required sleep for your body then your mood also improves.

Completing unfinished projects

Finishing uncomplete project helps feel productive.  The fact that we couldn’t physically see people, plus entertainment and leisure facilities were shut, this opened up time to finish D.I.Y projects.  The satisfaction in completing these things that had taken years on the do list was amazing and it meant new things can now be considered.

What ingredients do you need in your life to flourish?

Read more about Kelly Seaward – Ding and read her other articles HERE

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

The post ‘Love, as it turns out…’ appeared first on The Positive Psychology People.