In life, we all have goals that we want to achieve. These goals can be big or small, short-term or long-term. But regardless of their size or scope, our goals are important because they give us something to strive for. They provide us with a sense of purpose and direction, and they help us to stay motivated and focused. But what happens when our goals are challenged by circumstances? What if we experience setbacks or obstacles that make it seem impossible to achieve our goals? In these moments, it’s important to remember that our goals are still worth pursuing. Even if we have to adjust our timelines or change our strategies, we should never give up on our dreams.

There are many benefits to pursuing goals (Latham, 2004), even in the face of challenging circumstances. For one, setting and achieving goals can boost our self-esteem and confidence. When we accomplish something that we set our minds to, it gives us a sense of accomplishment and pride. This can lead to a more positive outlook on life and a greater sense of well-being. In addition, pursuing goals can help us to learn and grow. When we face challenges, we are forced to step outside of our comfort zones and develop new skills and abilities. This can make us more resilient and adaptable in the face of future challenges.

Finally, pursuing goals can help us to connect with others (Pineda & Lerner, 2006). When we share our goals with others, we can find support and encouragement. This can make the journey to achieving our goals more enjoyable and rewarding. Of course, there are no guarantees that we will achieve all of our goals. But if we keep trying and never give up, we are more likely to succeed. And even if we don’t achieve our goals in the end, we will still have gained valuable lessons and experiences along the way.

The Relationship Between Goals and Circumstances

The relationship between goals and circumstances is complex and ever-changing. On the one hand, our goals are shaped by our circumstances. The opportunities and challenges that we face in life influence the goals that we set for ourselves (Midgley et al., 2001). For example, someone who grows up in poverty may have different goals than someone who grows up in a wealthy family.

Let me open a small imaginary bracket here:

There is this hype that people learn to be bad from movies. And then they pursue bad goals. Someone who is socially, emotionally and in family matters is well mannered, cannot learn to be against the rule of law, democracy or human rights from films. So, if you observe carefully the stories of horror and action movies, you will see the following plots: In the old black and white movie the monster or the villain came from the outer space, from a different world. Then after the situation has changed and the villain came from our own world, from the cemeteries, from unfinished criminal cases, but it was already here, coming only from the past. Then the dramaturgy changes again and the story focus on the present, we now see that the villain is actually a family member. And finally, the dramaturgy changes again, only to see that the villain is actually the main character, he did it, which he only realises after researching his own past. And the point has an enlightening message, because it shows the atrocities of the modern world. And the message is that you must watch out what you do in the present, for in the future you may be held accountable of your actions!

On the other hand, our goals can also shape our circumstances (Chakraborty et al., 2017). When we set ambitious goals for ourselves, we are more likely to take action to make them a reality. This can lead to positive changes in our lives, such as better education, higher-paying jobs, and stronger relationships. Think of it! You are poor, disadvantaged and bullied today; you are tempted to be corrupt, to steal and play dirty games. Well don’t! Tomorrow can and will be better if you do not play your cards dirty.

In short, goals and circumstances are mutually reinforcing. Our goals help to create the circumstances that we need to achieve them, and our circumstances help to shape the goals that we set for ourselves.

The Role of Positive Psychology in Goal Pursuit

Positive psychology is the study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. It has already made a significant contribution to our understanding of goal pursuit. One of the key insights of positive psychology is that our goals are more likely to be achieved if we focus on our strengths and virtues (Corbu et al., 2021). When we focus on our strengths, we are more likely to believe in ourselves and our ability to succeed. We are also more likely to take risks and persevere in the face of challenges. Of course, there are prices we will pay for being true to our nature, but in the end it’s worth it. In addition, positive psychology emphasizes the importance of having a positive outlook on life. When we have a positive outlook, we are more likely to see opportunities and possibilities. We are also more likely to be resilient in the face of setbacks.

The Importance of Health and Well-being

Finally, it is important to remember that our goals should be aligned with our health and well-being. If our goals are making us unhappy or stressed, then they are not worth pursuing. Instead, we should focus on setting goals that will make us feel good and that will contribute to our overall well-being. Do not work in a company that does not align with your values, do not take jobs that aren’t satisfying, fulfilment is not only for the very rich, remember.

In conclusion, goals are an important part of life. They give us something to strive for and they help us to stay motivated and focused, even if you need to hunker down to the grim basics and postpone the pursuit of good life until we feel safe again. But it is important to remember that our goals are not always easy to achieve. We will face challenges and obstacles along the way. But if we keep trying and never give up, we are more likely to succeed. And even if we don’t achieve our goals in the end, we will still have gained valuable lessons and experiences along the way.

Bibliography

Chakraborty, A., Singh, M. P., & Roy, M. (2017). A study of goal frames shaping pro-environmental behaviour in university students. International Journal of Sustainability in Higher Education, 18(7). https://doi.org/10.1108/IJSHE-10-2016-0185

Corbu, A., Peláez Zuberbühler, M. J., & Salanova, M. (2021). Positive Psychology Micro-Coaching Intervention: Effects on Psychological Capital and Goal-Related Self-Efficacy. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.566293

Latham, G. P. (2004). The motivational benefits of goal-setting. In Academy of Management Executive (Vol. 18, Issue 4). https://doi.org/10.5465/AME.2004.15268727

Midgley, C., Kaplan, A., & Middleton, M. (2001). Performance-approach goals: Good for what, for whom, under what circumstances, and at what cost? Journal of Educational Psychology, 93(1). https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0663.93.1.77

Pineda, R. C., & Lerner, L. D. (2006). Goal attainment, satisfaction and learning from teamwork. Team Performance Management, 12(5–6). https://doi.org/10.1108/13527590610687938

Read more about Roland Majla and his other articles HERE

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Others like me, took a more earth-mother approach, going with the flow and hating the idea of a strictly enforced routine. It was at that point in my life that it really struck me that maybe neither approach was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but what was important was to find an approach that suited the parents’ organisational style. Some people love lists, structure, routines and goals – others prefer a more meandering approach to life, going with the flow and pursuing what interests them at the time.

Both approaches have pros and cons, and whatever our personal style is (and that may change over time and circumstances), we should embrace our strengths, but also be humble enough to realise that a different approach also has its strengths and at times we can learn something from that.

Fast forward 20 years and whilst studying Snyder’s hope theory in Positive Psychology, I realised I had a problem with the word ‘goals’. Say ‘goal’ to me and it takes me back to working in IT in the 1980s and the acronym SMART – you will be more likely to meet a goal if it is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound. This is an entirely sensible idea, so why does the word make my inner anarchist squirm so much?

Maybe because in my mind’s eye, it makes the word ‘goal’ sound like something dry and logical, without taking into account any emotional component? What about the value of that goal in the first place? The importance of trying it even if it might not be achievable? And most of all, ‘goal’ to me sounds very outcome focused – we either achieve a goal or we don’t – but what about the learning along the way which may be as valuable as a successful outcome? What if we don’t quite know what we want to achieve in the first place?

A second problem that I see related to focus on ‘goals’ is it relates to a western ideal of focusing on personal achievement. Not that there’s necessarily a problem with personal achievement – it can be great! But again it comes back to that classic phrase, it’s the journey, not the destination.

A couple of years ago, I signed up for a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology at Buckinghamshire New University. In a way, I had a ‘goal’ of completing the course – which I achieved. But the important part to me wasn’t the qualification (albeit that does give me a nice rosy glow when I think about it), but it was the process of getting the degree that was the best bit. I travelled to Bucks once a month (until COVID interrupted), met so many wonderful people, had great conversations and learnt so many new things. That was the real ‘goal’ for me – but it was full of twists and turns and unexpected benefits along the way. Even if I hadn’t finished my Masters, I would have gained so much through going through the process.

Another example of a ‘goal’ I have pursued in the past was to have a family. After a number of years of infertility investigations and treatments, we finally went down the route of IVF, and were lucky enough to succeed on the second attempt, resulting in twins – a whole family in one go! When I studied Hope theory during my course – I thought back to this time, and whether the desire for a family met the idea of having a ‘goal’? Yes, it was a ‘goal’ of sorts, but at what point could I say ‘goal completed!’. On the day we got the fantastic news I was pregnant? On the day the scan revealed that I was expecting twins? The day that I gave birth? When they went to school? When they finally left home and became independent adults? (We’re still working on that one…) Having a family isn’t so much a ‘goal’ as a journey, an ongoing process of following my values and prioritising what is important and meaningful to me, in the same way that working on my Masters was.

Although I have had a sense of discomfort with the word ‘goal’ for a while, it was recently whilst reading an excellent book called “The Happiness Trap” (Harris, 2007), that I came across an excellent quote that crystallised this for me:

“It’s important to recognise that values are not the same thing as goals. A value is a direction we desire to keep moving in, an ongoing process that never ends.”

Thinking about it in those terms, it made sense to me why I have a problem with ‘goal setting’. I spent some time thinking about my values, and came up with three themes which capture them – Curiosity, Learning & Exploring, Connection to Others (which includes a sense of fairness and equality), and Connection to Nature. I can see that moving in the direction of my values is often a meandering process – curiosity side tracks me, looking at the flowers in the garden or doing creative stuff with the kids was always more interesting than tidying up or “getting things done”.

For me, a better approach to intentional behaviour is to set myself a ‘challenge’ rather than a goal. I’m often more motivated by “what happens if I do this? What will I learn? What interesting conversations about it will I have?” than the satisfaction of achieving something and ticking the box.

Spending some time identifying your values can be really useful in that it makes sure that you are heading in the right direction in life, and not getting side-tracked by the achievement of goals that don’t meet your values. Having identified my values in this way, when I start thinking “shall I do so and so” I can relate it back to my values – is this something I really want to do? Or that I feel I ‘should’ do? Psychologists Ryan and Deci (2000) call this “Intrinsic motivation” – being motivated by our internal values. When we are intrinsically motivated, we are far more likely to persist and achieve our aims than when we are motivated by extrinsic values – external rewards such as money or approval from others.

So whether you are a person who loves structure and lists and are happy setting ‘goals’, or whether you prefer to meander and set yourself ‘challenges’ like me, take some time to think out what are your values. What is important to you? Dig deep. If you think “I would like to have lots of money”, why is that? If you had all the time and money you wanted, what would you do? Spend more time with friends? Maybe what you really value is connection to others. Travel?

Maybe like me, you are curious about other places and cultures. If you can identify your core values, you can set a better direction in your life. Yes, you might have to work, but if you choose a job where you put your values in action every day, it will be much more satisfying than one that doesn’t. And even if your life is full of things that you need to do and you don’t have much choice, you can start to carve out little pockets of working on things that do matter to you. And it’s not just ‘what do I want to do?’ but also ‘What sort of a person do I want to be?’ , ‘what sort of relationships do I want to build’ and ‘what do I value’?

To conclude, I will still wriggle if you use the word ‘goal’ too much, but I accept that’s me and if you love the word, that’s OK. But the important point is to think about how your direction in life aligns with your values. When you set a goal, is it moving you in the direction you desire? Or if you aren’t quite sure of what goals you want to set, start moving in that direction anyway by taking a small step. You might not know what will happen or be 100% sure of where you are going, but hopefully, you will enjoy the journey along the way.

References:

Harris, R. (2007). The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. The Happiness Trap, 7(2).
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68

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The Power of Goal Setting to Activate Change

A couple of years ago I felt like I was going around in a circle.  I was in a good place in life, I had lots of successful moments, but the sense of flow seemed static.  There was something missing, even though I had all these past successes.  When I explored further the reason I landed at this place, was due to completing all my dreams.  I had been so focused on them, that in their completion, I had forgotten to make new ones.  I stood there thinking: What do I want now?  I had become bored with my comfort zone, yet I didn’t really know what was next?  This was new for me, as I was the teenager who knew what she wanted when she left school.

So began to read everything I could on goal setting.  I invested in a goal setting diary, so I could get more clarity where I wanted to be.  The goals are broken down into material, financial, emotional, mind-set, home-based, relationship and spiritual goals.  The first year it was a slow process, but I still continue this goal setting practice and this practice includes the following

Crystal Clear Intentions:

When your intentions are really clear they are more manageable and measurable.  Unclear intentions will keep you at the start line of any goal.  I find using vision boards, and Journals helps me to process this step.

Decide to Commit:

This requires you to actually do the work to achieve the goal.  I find putting a deadline on my goals helps to give them some urgency to them.  It just ensures that the goal doesn’t always end up on the bottom of my ‘to do’ list or stay as a wish.

Visualisation:

Visualisation helps your Subconscious Mind accept your goals.  The more you mentally rehearse the outcome of your goals, the more you can feel them.  The mind and body are interconnected and it is important that the thinking process is in unison with the feeling process.  This helps you to believe in you goals and helps generate motivation to attaining them.

Take Action:

You have to take each step necessary to achieving your goals.  They do not happen without some form of action.  Your goals need ‘motion’ in order to move forward.  This is how you get from where you are to where you want to be.

Patience:

Some goals takes time.  Manifesting doesn’t necessarily happen immediately.  It depends on the size of the goal.  So patience is really important.  However the more you work on your goals, the more you believe and the momentum eventually speeds up.

Mind-Set:

Mind-Set in its simplest form is to align your beliefs with your intentions.  If you are dreaming of something and your underlying belief is it will never happen, you are using a counteraction.  You are in inner conflict and this breaks the alignment required to keep your goal active.  If you self-doubt you are actually making a statement you do not want it to happen.  So Mind-Set is key.

Gratitude:

These steps helps towards achieving your goals – saying thank you to something that is not in your reality yet.  Gratitude keeps your goal setting humble, keeps your spirits up and increases your belief.

I wish you great success in preparing new goals for the New Year and a new decade.

About the author: Kelly Seaward completed her MSc Applied Positive Psychology course in 2018.  She advocates the teachings within this field of psychology in her own teaching.   She is also a qualified hypnotherapist, counsellor and psychotherapist. Her mission is to help teacher flourish positiveteachertherapy.weebly.com

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