Habits and Communication

Habits and Communication

“In a relationship, when communication starts to fade, everything else follows.” Before Taking Positive Psychology I was not sure what to expect. I thought the class would be about how to have a more positive attitude and outlook on life. This class taught me many great things from breaking bad habits, hope, temperament, and personality, to FLOW, emotional behavior, and creativity. Positive psychology pushed me to look more within myself to find the things that may need a bit more work. An Ah-Ha moment for me was learning about HABITS. I have found myself in quite the rut as of late, and to study and learn about changing habits was very POSITIVE for me. I learned that habits are more than just the things we do day in and day out. Habits are behaviors that take little to no thought process. For example, like brushing our teeth or taking the same route to and from work every day. Habits can be as easy to break as they are to keep, it is merely whether you want to change or not. Make it a Habit to Engage in the Conversation Habits and communication go hand in hand. There is a statement I have heard in the past, “keep your ears open and your mouth shut”. “Communication skills are essential for empathizing with others, for understanding their concerns, and for setting the stage for interpersonal problem solving” (Carr, A Pg. 175). I am sure we all have had or tried to have, a conversation with the type of person that likes to rule the conversation, constantly cutting you off, or wanting...
Habits and Communication

Communication is Key

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand we listen to reply.” Using what I learned I thought Positive Psychology was about having a positive outlook on life, and how to deal with things in a positive manner. I know that psychology deals with different point of views and always helps me apply what I have learned to my life. After the course, I expected to apply my knowledge and to become a more positive individual. An Ah-Ha moment for me was learning about communication. This was a very important topic because I believe that communication is the key to personal and career success. Communication is very vital to any type of relationship, whether it is personal or professional. Poor communication is the cause of many problems because of misunderstanding, miscommunication, and poor listening. Positive Psychology opened my eyes to proper communication. No matter what the situation is,  there is a way to properly express your point of view; whether it is through verbal or non-verbal communication. Listening to understand “Communication skills are essential for empathizing with others, for understanding their concerns, and for setting the stage for interpersonal problem solving” (Carr, A Pg. 369).  The text explored how miscommunication and misunderstanding are big problems in the world of technology when is come to communication. Generally, there is a  lack the connection of emotions and body language when we use technology to communicate. As the stated quote indicates,  we do not listen to understand we listen to reply and also state our own point of view without paying attention or understanding others. Strong enough to embrace...
How Laughter can Help you Keep Relationships Positive

How Laughter can Help you Keep Relationships Positive

All of us go through tough times in life and it’s so important to make sure we get the most out of our relationships whether it’s with our partner, kids, friends or colleagues.  I, like many of you, have had my fair share of knocks in life and would love to share a few where laughter really made the difference and kept me positive. Laughter Yoga gave me a new sense of empowerment and confidence and I actually made a change in my life and decided to be happy no matter what.  This starting to show immediately and people started responding differently to me. Breaking up is hard to do: The first and possibly most important change that I owe to Laughter Yoga is with my relationship with my ex husband, the father of my 2 children. Visiting my kids every 3 months in Iran was so stressful and drained me so much.  Having had a toxic relationship and difficult breakup, it was hard for us to spend too much time together without getting into a fight, we had both built up anger because of the way things had turned out. This all changed when I learned how to change the way I looked at life and how I responded to what it was dishing me. I had called to book my trip to see my kids and had mentioned to my ex that I had started a new career in Laughter Yoga and was totally surprised by his reaction when he saw me at the airport.  Now imagine an arrogant, angry man who was bitter that I had...
The Positive Side of Silent  Running

The Positive Side of Silent Running

While I do not profess to be an expert on Navy submarines, in my military travels I do recall several Navy friends talking about the silent running of the submarines. This is a term used when a submarine goes into a silent mode of operations. In the mode of silent running, the purpose is to evade attacks from the enemy and requires those aboard to stand down; let there be a stillness. Speed, movement, and noise from the propellers are drastically reduced, and for good reason. The intention is to allow for safety along a stretch of a journey that poses potential harm. Silent running can be summed up as a tactic to maximize safe passage and minimize destruction. Communication and relationships are in themselves a journey that can be, at times, overwhelming and impact wellness. Just as the commanding officer of the submarine must analyze the impact of an encounter, we too can be the commanders of our journey. Prepare for impact: size and strength of negativity I recall, in an episode of the Lucille Ball show, poor old Lucille Ball on the candy conveyor belt line, unable to keep up with sorting and placing of candies neatly in the packages, thus leaving her to shove abundant amounts of candy into her mouth. Information is much the same, the amount and type have an influence on us; how much negativity can we take in before it becomes unhealthy? This concept is not new or novel to this generation. We can find research regarding the retaining capacity of the brain in late 1950 and probably even further back than...
Oh BITE me!

Oh BITE me!

(B)e  (I)n  (T)he  (E)xperience – BITE If you are learning about Positive Psychology, you will find a lot of technical aspects highlighting the ought to be’s or the should be’s  of getting to a point of feeling happiness or happier. “Go to Disneyland, try a yoga class, try a cooking class, join a club etc.” These are all great avenues to explore but they are one dimensional and do not address the engagement factors of what we as humans crave; positive interaction and feedback. While living in Hawaii, I was asked how anyone could possibly be unhappy living in Hawaii. The beauty, the music, the food are all incredible; a true paradise. But, Hawaii is just the setting for the experience, not  the full interactive experience itself. I have also lived in poverty-stricken places where living is day to day. Again, I have been asked how people there could find happiness given the difficult living conditions.  It is not always about the backdrop that surrounds us, but the positive engagement in the moment experiences we take in and use to invigorate and empower our sense of being human. Shift- Take a BITE By acknowledging the SHIFT- one-dimensional environment to multi-dimensional experience, it allows us to realize and stockpile the positive benefits of the experience. I recall many moons ago, while stationed in the Philippines, being invited to my first “local” pig-roast gathering. Upon arriving I was quickly ushered to the kitchen where all the ladies were making lumpia and pancit. Without any conversation, a huge tray was set in front of me and I was given a ten-second talking-hand...