Initiating intimacy can be terrifying. I’m not talking about procreation. Though certainly, it’s a topic that resulted in seven billion + people in our world. I’m talking about true intimacy. The sort that creates long lasting relationships. The sort that enabling institutions bond with. When we find authentic intimacy with people, we find our soul relationships.
“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘you’re safe with me’ – that’s intimacy.”
~ Taylor Jenkins Reid.
To me, Reid’s quote is the most honest reflection of what real intimacy is. It is trust. It is mutual respect. Without it, no amount of love or affection can be sustained.
The positive psychology movement delves into all facets of the human condition. They help us to enhance our overall lives for the greater good. Many times, our perception is clouded with ego, or the voices of others, whether that’s familial patterns, or cultural expectations.
Sometimes, in its sweetest revitalization, the pp industry tends not to talk about the most vulnerable topics that may just mean the most for us all. The people, places and experiences that shape our emotional attachments are our world.
An enabling institution
To enable from a mental illness viewpoint, one would say that we are allowing a destructive behavior to continue. But, to enable from a healthy mindset, we would say that we are creating a space of allowing the other or others to feel trusted on the deepest personal level.
The enabling institution, we all know, is a collective as small as two or as large as it need be. Facebook claims to have five billion accounts open. The expanse of a thing is not as important as how those relationships make us feel about ourselves. We can be in a large group, or large city and feel completely alone if we don’t have at least one other person we can feel safe with.
The beauty of developing an intimate relationship can be found in the language we use, or the dance in the moment of our communications. We are social creatures who crave being heard and crave finding comfort in each other.
We often create a synthetic bond to those we’re with in order to feel like we belong, but we rush it. Our bond of feeling intimately included in our culture is so strong, we will even tolerate that which is intolerable at times.
On the other hand, when we can find ourselves lost in a conversation where we know we are heard, safe, and open to our most vulnerable self, we know we have found home.
Valentine’s Day has become about synthetic love, when in truth, it is a day of honoring our intimate vulnerability. That which makes all of life worth living. To love and be loved is pure joy. Happiness is a bi-product emotion of intimacy at its deepest level.
Peace and Love,
Author: Karen Henry [Daly], MA CRM owns Henry Healing as a holistic well-being practitioner and writer. She’s a former university professor and current scholar practicing the infusion of holistic healing and positive psychology.