We are all searching. Seeking to find something more that we believe will satisfy and complete. What we overlook in our drive to win is the extent of our compulsion and instinct. The drive forward becomes an unquestioned first base and so we ‘strike and run’, time and again – caught in our own game of winning, playing it competitively, sometimes adept and well and yet missing the original chance and choice not to play at all.  How do we learn to see and step out of our own games?

The image of ice depicts the dilemma – am I caught or free – how will I find my liberation?

Paradoxically, this may be our only chance of winning. The game may also have its place, for if we did not play and ultimately experience the futility and circularity of the running and seeking – how would we ever consider to turn our attention elsewhere? Must we lose the game in order to win back our lives?

As we seek answers, so we seek a guide – someone in whom we can trust – an avatar, a mentor and maybe ultimately a God. We may default to the control of a dictator for at least it appears that they think they know what they are doing. Yet where will we truly find our essential guides?

Strangely the world appears to have a secret code and map – when we are in need and if we can open our hearts to ask for guidance – ‘it will come’. This brings a realisation that although we seek with great singularity in our games to win – the most significant growth points in our lives often involve the presence of significant others. Those who with their own experience of the life journey, can hold our questions and create space for us to discover our answer. Not to search outward for ‘the answer’ but to turn our world ‘inside out’. In the moment of this meaningful somersault, our thinking becomes reflective and inwardly directed, we have the chance to learn the real location of our own inner resourcefulness and guide. We want to win and be the best and yet to become the best we often need another to gently open the door for us to see to see the way. How strange and wonderful life is – must we lose our path to find our way? Must we strive to be the best and yet require others to see that person within us first.

Like the impressions of shells in the sand, we have original imprints which cannot be washed away or fully turned away from. Such original memories, if we can learn to listen will always be the essential signposts of our journey. When we do listen we may discover we already have a guide – a sort of inner satnav – the only compass that can truly guide your journey. We can spend a lifetime searching for a guide – only to find them waiting for our return.

May we learn to see our games. Losing – a choice not to play – may be the secret to redeeming our unlived life.


About the Author: Andrew Machon PhD, MA, MCC has dedicated his life to enabling others to change for the better. He has worked for over 3 decades in major international business as an executive business coach, coach trainer and experienced coaching supervisor. He is a trained and qualified psychotherapist and a visiting lecturer in positive psychology to New Bucks University. Andrew’s life long aspiration is to share insights into the real nature of development and mastery.


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