Doing What You Truly Value Makes You More Resilient

Doing What You Truly Value Makes You More Resilient

There’s something I’ve learned through studying many successful and highly resilient people over the last 13 years and, from observing myself when in my most resilient state. It is the immense power of living in accordance with your own values and therefore by default, not living to other people’s values instead of your own. Whether at work or in our personal lives, if we don’t live a life that aligns to our core values – that is, things that are truly most important to us – we soon become the weakest version of ourselves. You can do all the personal development work to build resilience like taking care of your body, building healthy relationships, healing past emotional wounds and fostering an optimistic mindset; but, if your life is out of sync with your true values, I fear you’ll always be chasing your tail. What happens when we do things we don’t value? If we define values as things that are most meaningful and important to us, then being out of alignment with them would simply mean spending lots of time, effort and energy focussing on things that are not meaningful or important to us. This might manifest as working 80 hours a week when what you value most is time with your kids. Or, sitting in accounts all day when what you value most is art and creativity. Or, being a stay at home parent when what you value most is your career. It may manifest as being in a relationship with the wrong person, living in the wrong place, hanging out with the wrong social group. Anything that...
Authentic Leadership

Authentic Leadership

In the midst of belief, when you are the only one in the knowing, it can feel like you are wondering in darkness, as everyone you meet doesn’t know your clarity. It is not a form of realisation for everyone to see. It is just a thought, a feeling, a deep sense of knowing that in a future time and space it will all be made clear. Unknown waters In leadership you sometimes have to lead into unknown waters if you want things to continue to grow. Therefore, you need to feel comfortable in what is not yet to be seen and trust the flow of experience to bring you exactly at the right destination as well as guide the people you are leading. In your uncertainty you need to still provide the confidence, faith and trust as you stand in your authenticity. To be a leader you need to learn the balance of when to let things go, which no longer serve a purpose, no matter how long the process has been in place with bringing in changes that are needed to move things forward. It is also knowing that not everyone you meet along your leadership journey will complete the whole journey with you. It is about having integrity and knowing that your leadership has a ripple effect into the world as you interact with each person you meet. This is about shining your light bright so each person you work with increases in their light as they work with you. When you keep your leadership authentic, honest and positive you will always be a blessing in...
Positive Psychology and Values

Positive Psychology and Values

In a recent conversation with a fellow MAPP (MSc in Applied Positive Psychology) student we found ourselves covering the full range of typical positive psychology themes; hope, resilience, love, gratitude, forgiveness, authenticity, growth, compassion. My colleague said she felt that these topics were rarely talked about in general society. That may be true, but I hear these issues explored every Sunday, in church. I am not the first person to suggest that the VIA classifications of strengths and virtues read like a list of “the fruits of the spirit”  (Galatians; 5 22-23). Indeed, given that the Bible was one of the texts used to derive Seligman & Peterson’s cross cultural classification of character strengths, that is hardly a surprise. However, talking about my beliefs in a positive psychology context still makes me uncomfortable. Religion and Positive Psychology A number of prominent positive psychologists have been clear that they don’t believe in God. For me, Positive Psychology (PP) research is an affirmation of my Christian beliefs. That is not to say that I believe PP either proves or disproves the existence of God, nor should it try to. Without uncertainty there is no need for faith, which is a key element of all religions. However, psychology still seems to shy away from discussion of religion and spirituality, despite the clear evidence of their importance to well-being. There are a number of mechanisms that could explain the relationship between religiousness, spirituality and well-being and these should be explored. However, the possibility that there might just be something more going on here should not be ignored either. But Is It Science? Perhaps,...