by Ali Birch | December, 2018 | self-growth
What does wellbeing mean to you? Is it about physical health, mental health? Is it a feeling? A measurable state? Whilst we might all hold an aspiration for high levels of wellbeing, we may not all have the same thing in mind when we talk about it. So, when we ask someone how they are, or how they feel, what kind of response are we expecting? Do we really want to hear the detail of their trials and triumphs, their pains or their gains, or are we just hoping for a quick one-word response, preferably ‘fine’? I attended a national conference for ‘Health and Well Being at Work’ earlier this year, and discovered an extraordinary spectrum of exhibitors stands, ranging from ergonomic seating, through dietary additives, occupational health recruitment to resilience training and noise protection devices. No wonder we are confused about what wellbeing really means. Understanding what we mean by wellbeing is important though. The World Health Organisation defines good mental health as “A state of wellbeing in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.” Common language for wellbeing Wellbeing is an increasingly commonly used term, but there is a spectrum of meanings and even disparity in the spelling of the term (with or without a hyphen, one word or two). Philosophers have been arguing about the definition of wellbeing for centuries and economists have been debating it for decades, whilst psychologists and sociologists are relatively new to the debate. But...
by Pinky Jangra | October, 2018 | Pinky Jangra, self-growth
Alarm bells started ringing when I stopped to ponder how much of my life is driven by a single intention: to avoid rejection. It’s more of my life than I care to admit. In fact, more of my life than I had realised, until I stopped to look at it more closely today. I find myself people pleasing, hiding my true feelings, not saying ‘no’ to people, not saying ‘yes’ to people, sitting politely and staying quiet – all to avoid rejection. Fear of rejection and the shame associated with rejection (I think it’s the shame we’re more scared of, than the rejection itself) is such a stifling state of being. We’re so scared that someone will stop liking us or think badly of us, that we dare not make any bold moves. We shut down, we stop growing, we don’t step forward, we hold ourselves back, we stay small. Why on Earth are we doing that? Fear of rejection is critical to our survival When we’re children, we need adults to look after us until we mature. If an adult rejects a child and that child is left alone, that child will not survive. Therefore, a child’s brain is primarily focussed on attachment and being accepted is a matter of life and death. As adults and social creatures, we need to build and maintain healthy relationships for our wellbeing, survival and propagation of life. If we weren’t aware of what might cause people to reject us, we may dart around upsetting people and be left standing all alone. Fear of rejection has its place in our wellbeing and...
by Bryony Shaw | September, 2018 | Bryony Shaw, self-growth
One Positive Psychology exercise involves creating and living A Beautiful Day. I have found this to be a wonderful exercise which leaves me with a calm, fulfilled feeling that can last for some days afterwards. The Beautiful Day exercise involves four stages: The first is to reflect upon what constitutes a Beautiful Day. This activity causes you to think about and recall what has made you happy in the past, which activities bought you pleasure, what did you do, who did you do it with, did you do it alone? The second stage is to plan your Beautiful Day by using as many elements from step one as possible. This includes a plan from when you wake in the morning until when you sleep at night. You also need to set a date and make any necessary preparations such as check other people are free on that date. The third stages just requires you to live your Beautiful Day. The final stage is to reflect on your Beautiful Day, to record your experiences and the associated feelings. Again this invites a strong sense of savouring, re-experiencing the physical sensations and the internal emotions. Finally you are asked to think about what you would change when you plan your next Beautiful Day. Reflections Stage One Stage one provides many opportunities for experiencing positive emotions. You get to look through the lovely experiences that you have previously had, it is a focused act of savouring where forgotten details are brought to the fore and positive emotions are cultivated and dwelt upon. You know that you cannot do all of the experiences...
by Kelly Seaward | September, 2018 | Kelly Seaward, self-growth
On the commencement of 2018, I made a New Year’s resolution, I have tried them before and some I stuck to and some I did not. However, this one was different. The pact I made to myself was to spend 2018 finding me, the real me, the authentic me and see how the way I live my life is in true alignment to this. I started the journey with key questions: Who is the authentic me? Do I know the authentic me? Am I living as the authentic me? You see it occurred to me, I have spent my life acquiring skills (education), applying skills (job) and gaining more skills (moving up the career ladder). On a personal level I am a girlfriend, daughter, sister, auntie, friend, cousin, niece, granddaughter and the list could go. Now I am roles. So for most of my life I fluctuate from role to skill and back again. Knowing yourself The first thing I found out is I know myself really well in the ‘doing’ mode of life. I am determined, ambitious, passionate about what I do, extremely organised, reliable, friendly, speak my mind, get things done – not waiting around boom they are done! I also know myself really well with the many different facets of roles I play. Whatever role I am in I have these basic ingredients: empathetic, caring, nurturing, I will give you my time (hours of it), I have the ability to say the right thing at the right time and I am very honest with it. What I found out is I didn’t know myself that well...
by Fizza Shah | September, 2018 | Fizza Shah, self-growth
What does positive psychology say about motivation? Motivation is an imperative aspect of human functioning without it we would seize to do the most important tasks in our lives. So what is it? And where does positive psychology take it? Positive psychology has divided motivation into two sub fields’ intrinsic: inbuilt human attributes to pursue virtuousness and extrinsic: pursuing an activity for an alternative outcome, thus highlighting variant forms of motivational triggers. The self-determination theory formalises the four tenets of motivation being external: tasks driven by outside forces, introjected: self regulation of emotions conducting activities to avoid guilt, pressure, anxiety, identified: conducting imperative task regardless of it not being joyful and integrated: conducting tasks as they adhere to our values (Ryan & Deci, 2000). On a healthy motivational continuum the more we develop our intrinsic motivation the less likely we are to be forced to do things we did not want to. Autonomy is an important factor in finding your intrinsic motivation and so are competences, relatedness that form an overall driving force in finding your extrinsic motivation. The self-concordance model advocates well being as being much superior entity when individuals identify, amalgamate, implement intrinsic motivations within themselves in co coordinating their life goals (Sheldon, 1994). Evidence based research supports this notion and postulates that the model does indeed promote well being through attending to an individual’s innate psychological requirements (Boniwell, 2006). Some interesting perceptions of motivational strategies have been developed as the following recommended five dimensional steps: trust: fostering positive relationships, reward system: promotes healthy competition reinforcing good behaviours, recognition; appreciation of accomplishments, career advancement: opening up opportunities...
by Jo-Dee Walmsley, | August, 2018 | self-growth
Staying positive when life throws you a curve ball is not always easy. And I was reminded of a video I made a few months ago and maybe you can relate to it in some way. Maybe you can laugh yourself a bridge? Where it all started to make sense Imagine just how bad it must have been that I chose to leave my 2 small children when I left their father and divorced him. I left them all alone in a country where I had no say, no choice, no voice. I could have waded through that feeling of devastation. That deep sense of depression. And the feeling of total loss. I could have walked along the banks using my tears to fill the river but instead I chose to laugh myself a bridge and cross over it. Laughter has really changed my life and I would love to share my story with you today. 3 Bridges to help you 1. Laugh yourself a bridge to better self-esteem This is something to do with acceptance and self-love. Even though things may be falling apart around you, you can chose to love and accept yourself unconditionally. We all make mistakes or have ‘lessons’ as I call them. It’s best not to dwell on them, rather find out how to overcome it. Once you remove judgment from yourself and others you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. I felt guilty for years about leaving my kids, but when I realised I did everything in my power to get to see them, support them and love them I was...
