Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

I embarked on the MAPP course at UEL with the intention of learning about and applying positive psychology interventions in my workplace but the focus of the course led me on a different journey. I never was very good at map reading anyway so during my 2 year MAPP journey I have focused on topics of personal interest to me.

I have become a convert to hope theory which has proved to be the missing link in achieving my goals. Hope theory has taught me that being a card carrying optimist is just the beginning of the journey and that to arrive at a desired destination other elements need to be in place. It is important to have clear goals in line with your own values, several paths to acheiving goals as well as high levels of motivation and the willingness to ask for help. When I reflect on things which have previously not gone according to plan, I now recognize that one of these elements of hope theory was missing.

I also found self-compassion theory really enlightening. Previously I would have beaten myself up for not achieving something which I had put my mind to, but self-compassion research shows that cutting yourself some slack and treating yourself as kindly as you would a dear friend is a much more helpful and much more successful way to reach your goals.

The growth mindset theory equally suggests that the important thing to recognize is that you are not there yet. Simply because someone is not an expert in something at this point in their lives does not mean that they can’t get there in the future through hard work and perseverance. For example, applying self-compassion and a growth mindset enabled me to significantly increase my levels of willpower, courage and even fitness.

I became fascinated by the connection between a healthy mind and a healthy body and by the somatopsychic side to flourishing. As educationalist Ken Robinson quipped in his brilliant TED talk, I used to be one of those people who thought that the sole purpose of my body was to take my head to another meeting! Realizing how closely mind and body are interlinked led me to explore the effects of positive nutrition on both physical and psychological well-being and to discover the close links between the theories of functional medicine and positive psychology.

By experimenting with increasing courage through a 30 day challenge in which I did something that scared me every day I became fascinated by how people choose to overcome their fears to live courageous lives. My Masters thesis is looking at people who pursue a courageous vision to make the world a better place.

The serenity prayer sums up my MAPP journey beautifully. There are so many things I can change, if I choose to, and just because I am not there yet doesn’t mean that I won’t find myself in a different place in the future.

Further reading:

Lopez, S. J. (2013). Making hope happen: Create the future you want for yourself and others. Simon and Schuster

Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. Penguin

Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House

Hefferon, K. (2013). Positive Psychology and the Body. McGraw-Hill Education (UK)

Hyman, M. (2009). The UltraMind Solution: Fix Your Broken Brain by Healing Your Body First. Simon and Schuster

Robinson, K. (2013). Finding your element: How to discover your talents and passions and transform your life. Penguin UK

Pury, C. L., & Lopez, S. J. (2010). The psychology of courage: Modern research on an ancient virtue. American Psychological Association

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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Change is something that we all experience whether we are conscious of it or not and we don’t always look back on the journey of change that we have taken. In this blog, I review and reflect the journey of change that I undertook during the two years of my Masters in Applied Positive Psychology course. Although there were positive and negative situations in that period, I found that there were more positives and that I was better equipped to cope with the negative situations. For me, even applying for the course took courage for me venture outside my comfort zone, whilst overcoming the fear of the unknown and yet at the same time, I knew that it was going to be something that would enrich my life. Funnily enough, throughout the duration of the course I was taken back to my authentic self, who valued gratitude, helping others to excel and live a meaningful life. Somehow that had been lost a little in the treadmill of life.

For example, learning about and applying mindfulness had a big impact in the way that I interacted with friends, family and colleagues. From a family perspective, this was invaluable, especially as a dad. I was able to get to know my son better and I felt that as a result, our bond grew stronger and I was better equipped to give my him what he wanted, to help him grow into the best possible person that he can be. This isn’t to say that there weren’t negative situations, more that I was more aware of them and able to manage them and reframe the situation positively.

My passion for the research and application of strengths and strengths spotting have enriched my life enormously. It has changed my outlook on and approach to life, in that I am more able to see the best in people and situations. Where previously I may see the bad in people or be dismissive of them, I am now better able to see the strengths and positive intentions behind their behaviour.

I feel that throughout the course I have made positive changes as a person. That’s not to claim that I am fault free or that I don’t make mistakes, as I think that’s human nature to be like that. I wouldn’t want to suppress instinctive emotions and reactions, but I am more aware that I want to flourish and to ensure that I bring joy into the life of others. I acknowledge that this journey of change and growth is something that I want to, and would even go as far to say, must, devote the rest of my life to. Change is something that is a constant in our lives and should be embraced rather than feared as it often is. Change can be an opportunity to learn something new, add to our talents and give more to the people and world around us.

I’m looking forward to adding to my journey of change by carrying out further research and application, so as to expand the number and variety of Positive Psychology interventions that could help make a positive difference in people’s lives and those around them.

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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To be honest, I’m not a MAPP (MSc Applied Positive Psychology). I’m a barefoot fangirl of the MAPP’s. Being a champion of the program is more complicated than a few words can describe. My journey with MAPP began with my study of all things positive psychology, kicked off by “What is good is not the mere absence of what is bad” (Peterson & Park, 2006). I began my journey studying trauma and community. I read that article, followed by the flood gate of researchers that followed, joined IPPA (International Positive Psychology Association) as a charter member, flipped to studying all things positive psychology, discovered the MAPP’s and began adjunct teaching at a local state university all within a year.

I brought positive psychology to that psychology department as a special interest class four times, before it’s popularity had the, then chair, turn it into a full time class for the 400+ psychology department. I made sure that the MAPP programs around the world were always part of the curriculum, and I often held pro bono workshops or discussions with juniors and seniors about the possibility of positive psychology in whatever fields they were going into. Careers in positive psychology are endless. Many of those students went on to do exactly that.

Five years later, my bottom fell out. The department completely changed. A full time Professor wanted to teach my class. My personal life fell apart. In the span of a year, I lost everything I’d been working so hard to achieve. At middle age, the accomplishments were already challenging (something I wasn’t aware of until I had to start again). Only now, I am beginning again as Karen 2.0. Back to basics.

Thanks to positive psychology and following the public research of the MAPP’s (some of whom became my friends at a distance), and staying connected to the empirical and supportive MAPPaLicious collective, I held onto what matters most. Focus on what makes life worth living. The discipline in purpose and meaning have helped me to stay balanced. Not always positive, as we know that’s impractical. It was perfect timing that the ‘Dark Side’ book,  (‘The Upside of Your Dark Side’,
by Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener)  came out and the MAPP’s were a call to arms in spreading that notion. Nobody should be happy through tragedy and loss. Focusing on helping others, allowed me clarity and perspective on what is important in this world. Allowing myself to experience sorrow, made room for peace. By sharing the triumphs of those who have championed their goals, it has kept me in touch with my own through my darkest days. At first, I gave myself permission to rage. Then, with healing came the flood of gentling my soul, finding solace in kindness toward self and others.

My happy lies somewhere between contentment and peace. Celebrating my friends the MAPP’s as a fangirl has given me a greater gift of joy than boasting about my own life. Today, I live a simple life and write about the clarity that came after the storm. Positive psychology is always the base for all else.

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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In metaphoric terms, it is rather like how I see the world when I put on my reading glasses; I can see without them but wearing them removes the blur, bring things into focus and I see things much clearer. Of course, it also means I’m forced to see things that would otherwise be easy to overlook – my wrinkles when I look in the mirror, the dust upon the shelves and the calorific value on the labels of my favourite foods for instance. This is a similar experience as a result of the MAPP course; I’m more aware of strengths and virtues but with that comes the knowledge that I have sole responsibility for every aspect of how I feel and what I do with my life. I can no longer blame my circumstances, other people and lack of opportunities if I fail or feel out of sorts. If happiness and health are choices, then logic would suggest that so too are their opposites. This is how I view my life nowadays and frankly, sometimes it can feel uncomfortable. The emotional crutch of victim thinking and blaming others has been removed and sometimes I hobble, but it is worth it to experience the more frequent feelings of joy, vitality and the ability to soar.

I think in some ways embarking on the MAPP journey is like opening Pandora’s box – a lot of things come out! In the mythological tale hope was the one thing that remained in the box when Pandora opened it, and I have found that positive psychology is packed with hope. I most enjoyed learning about the upward spirals of positivity, love and positive emotions but it was, and remains hope that has given me the most comfort, security and optimism.

My journey with a MAPP provided me with the skills and resources I need to live a purposeful and meaningful life. Ironically perhaps, I already had them but I couldn’t access them until I was able to give them a name and gain an understanding of how they worked. Now I realise that I have everything I need in abundance. Like unused muscles, some skills have suffered from dystrophy through lack of use or never been properly developed but positive psychology shows ways to improve or create them through exercises called interventions.

With hindsight I can see that my journey with a MAPP has taken something away from me too. That something is unnecessary fear. MAPP has helped me embrace everything in my life with courage. I don’t fear failure, I don’t fear old age, I don’t fear death. I know how to savour good experiences and even gain something worthy from the more negative ones. Little of anything lasts long in our lives and we should remember this in good times and bad.

At the risk of becoming an Evangelist for positive psychology, I am passionate that the theory should be applied and believe that it is only through its application that it serves a positive purpose. I integrate the lessons from positive psychology into my personal life, my private practice (clinical hypnotherapy and laughter sessions) as well as teaching others about it. I am proud to be one of ‘The Positive Psychology People’ Team and believe that this is one of the ways the subject matter can be shared and adopted by people around the world.

I feel my life’s journey is going in exactly the right direction – and I couldn’t have done it without a MAPP.

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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