by Roland Majla | March, 2024 | Loneliness, Roland Majla, World Happiness Summit (Wohasu)
For those who are not aware of what WOHASU is, I’ll start my writing with a link: https://worldhappinesssummit.com/ WOHASU is The World Happiness Summit, and it was created to bring awareness about the benefits of happiness and wellbeing. Or as Karen Guggenheim the founder & CEO has said: “instead of letting life happen to you, show up to your life”. Listen to the audio version of this article At WOHASU 2024 in London, Karen had a brilliant conversation with Dr. Vivek Murthy, American Surgeon General who has a keen eye on loneliness and human connection. Dr. Vivek statistically explained the dire situation in North America and in general around the Western world, where 1 in 2 adults suffer a measurable level of loneliness, which leads to an increase of – 25% levels of anxiety and depression 29% levels of cardiovascular disease 31% levels of stroke 50% levels of dementia Ageing alone can lead to a higher level of all these morbidities, now, some of us are making things worse with our actions or inaction. In a world seemingly more connected than ever before, it’s paradoxical to acknowledge the epidemic of loneliness gripping societies worldwide. Dr. Vivek Murthy, Surgeon General of the United States, illuminated this sobering truth at the World Happiness Summit, shedding light on the staggering statistics that reveal the pervasive nature of loneliness and its detrimental effects on individuals and communities. According to Dr. Murthy’s insights, it’s alarming to learn that in the United States, one in two adults suffers from measurable levels of loneliness. This loneliness epidemic is not merely a matter of emotional discomfort;...
by Roland Majla | May, 2023 | Loneliness, Roland Majla
Let’s talk about loneliness. What does it mean to be lonely? Why do we feel it? Are there any good things about being and feeling lonely? People sometimes do feel lonely, but when ‘sometimes’ becomes ‘most of the time’ is what worries us. Right? Abe Maslow said that it’s a fundamental need to have social connections (Elizabeth Hopper, 2020), Erikson was a bit more optimistic, he said that loneliness helps with personal growth (Gross, 2020), Cacioppo pushed this further (Holding et al., 2020), and he said that it can lead to cardiovascular disease. Some of us have a deep feeling of not being good enough, and we hide away from people, feeling unworthy of attention. Those of us who feel this way should start reflecting deeply on the idea of excellence and should start taking steps to avoid a monolithic view of excellence. It’s not you who is worthless! It’s your idea about yourself that may need to be radically re-examined. We often read about people who are projecting their inner world to the outer world (Waytz, 2011), and while there are certainly such kinds of people, they tend to see the world the way they see themselves. But for the purpose of this blog, I will focus more on people who are on the other end of the spectrum. And namely, those who let the world project itself onto them, these are the people who let the wolf into the house. And while the wolf is being a wolf and behaving like a wolf, he does not realize the havoc he creates, and the suffering that follows follows....
by Lisa Jones | June, 2022 | Lisa Jones, Loneliness, Uncategorized
There is a common view that introverts don’t like interacting too much and would rather spend time alone, whilst extroverts spend all their time socialising and hate being alone. Is this a simplistic view of these personality traits? Could there be more to understand when considering who does and does not like spending time alone? Recent research has explored self-determined motivation for solitude and a preference for solitude, including how it relates to socialising. This post contributes to the discussion by also sharing some insights from my own research into qualities of time alone in midlife and how time alone is an undervalued activity in contemporary society. The Common Myth Society has a tendency to generalise a great deal. We often forget that the variation in people is far broader than the ‘average’ that we rely on as a measure of behaviour. The concept of introverts and extroverts was first presented by Carl Gustav Jung in the early 1900s. In very simple terms, Jung differentiated the types into those who tend to engage with the outside world in an active way (extroverts) and those that were more often engaged in the internal world of reflection (introverts). However, as the concept of personality was developed it became more and more defined as those who are outgoing and sociable (extroverts) and those who are inhibited and shy (introverts). This starts to put value judgements onto the traits as through the lens of sociability. Being an introvert myself I take umbradge at this! I am a sociable person and can be quite outgoing at times. True I am not the life...
by Lisa Jones | March, 2022 | Lisa Jones, Loneliness
You may be thinking that the two words ‘together’ and ‘alone’ are an odd two words to put together. I’ve put them together for this post to emphasise the need to know ourselves and be comfortable in our own company. In today’s contemporary world we have little time to listen to our own voices. I shall use prose and poetry I have come across in my research to explain the value in taking time to connect to YOU. Contemporary Culture When I read this excerpt of a book by Thich Nhat Hanh I thought it told the story of society very well. Many of us are afraid of going home to ourselves because we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us. That’s why we’re always reaching for more and more sense impressions to consume. – Thich Nhat Hanh, (2015) Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise We live in a world that is constantly talking to us, requesting our attention and our minds. Research data indicates that more and more people are self-reporting that they are depressed, anxious, or lonely. How can we be lonely when we are more connected than ever, living and existing in close proximity to everyone else? Being By Yourself We can all be by ourselves to a point. We can physically take ourselves off somewhere and be alone, or we can be absorbed in what we are doing, whether amongst people we know or strangers. For some this is easy enough, their lives allow for some time alone, or their work enables them to be focused...
by Lisa Jones | January, 2022 | Lisa Jones, Loneliness
Are you feeling the pressure of aloneliness? How to recognise it and take action It’s the New Year and most people will have had a whirlwind of a Festive season. The level of busyness cranks up for many and there is very little time to be truly alone- even in these times. Culturally we don’t value time alone and tend to fear it, a sign that we have a problem and might feel lonely. Yet the there is often a tension between having a full life and having time to just ‘be’. This tension has been researched by Robert J. Coplan and colleagues in a concept they call ‘aloneliness’. Here I explain how this cultural narrative has resulted in so many people feeling exhausted and how we can shift the narrative and our behaviours to one that is more balanced. Aloneliness The word a-loneliness has been defined as a negative feeling that arises when a person does not have enough time alone. It is the antithesis of loneliness when someone feels too alone. Coplan refers to the paradox of solitude where we recognise the benefits of time alone, such as in meditation, but at the same time perceive being alone negatively in most areas of our lives. Being too busy and not getting enough time alone can have an impact on mental health. If you are feeling tense or your mood is low, with just too much to do, could you be feeling alonely? The need to ‘do’ We are all aware of FOMO- Fear Of Missing Out which seems to have burrowed inside us. We twitch when...
by Lisa Jones | November, 2021 | Lisa Jones, Loneliness
Really we don’t need to always be out and about having a new experience; we can create our own simply by expanding our imagination and our access to new words. In this post, I aim to show you how that can be done. As I continue my research into what it means to be or feel alone, I have noticed a complex web of aloneness which is sometimes felt as loneliness, solitude, or something in between. The reason there are so many ways to feel alone is because the way we describe how we feel depends on the context, past experiences and individual interpretation. This is why new words often enter our language, sometimes borrowed from other cultures, to describe the different ways we experience the ever-changing world. Words evoke strong emotions, and so with a new word comes a new set of emotions. Different ways of saying how you feel Etymology is the study and history of words. A dip into the origins of specific words shows a picture where a word evolves its structure and meaning through the ages. In today’s society, new words are being created more than ever, and old ones are recycled into new meanings. We don’t have to stick to our own language. Other languages often have a word that describes something we don’t have. By learning the word and its meaning it can give us access to new feelings and experiences. Take words that are very emotive, such as those that are nostalgic or mournful. Emotions are very important to us, and these types of words hold a strong embodied sense...