by Kelly Seaward-Ding | April, 2024 | Kelly Seaward - Ding, Motherhood
‘We see our world as we are conditioned to see it’ (Covey, 2013). Exploring Positive Psychology and Therapy over a long period makes you identify, analyse and reflect on your inner world with a greater awareness as you explore the depths of these domains. When becoming a mum and knowing you are responsible for the physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health of your child, the impact of those early years is paramount to the development of your child across their lifespan. We are as parents responsible for the conditioning, those inner patterns that are created and then become the foundations for their habits and subconscious drives that either become effective contributors to our children’s’ lives or ineffective. However, before we become effective or ineffective drivers for our children, we must apply our self-awareness to scrutinise how effective or ineffective we contribute to our own lives. What subconscious drives, our own inner patterns are we running our own lives on? Are they helping towards creating a flourishing life or are we on groundhog day allow our inner scripts to run on autopilot in the background and feeling discontent with life? Do we know those inner scripts? Do we stop and take moments of reflection before we add more to our never-ending to-do list? Taking action changes lives. The one thing I have noticed is that I know a lot of stuff about self-development and psycho-emotional development. I have a Character Strength when completing the Values in Action (VIA) survey of a ‘Love of Learning’, so learning is an important part of my life. I have the knowledge and at...
by Kelly Seaward-Ding | January, 2024 | Kelly Seaward - Ding, Motherhood
The power of habits While my baby daughter grows, each milestone is important and embeds the foundation of her emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual health. Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology stated when he searched what parents want the most for their child, their response was happiness (Seligman, 2011). This helped formed his concept for Positive Education. This is also such a big question for all parents – How do we create the foundation for happiness for our children? What is happiness? Howcan we sustain happiness? All these questions plus the juggling of the day-to-day activities. In reflection I thought I would start by looking at how the habits in our lives create happiness or despair. Also, how can I as a mother, use this information to help create healthy patterns for my daughter, so she doesn’t have to spend her adulthood unpicking stuff that just gets in the way. Is this even possible? What is a habit? ‘A habit is a routine or behaviour that is performed regularly – and, in many cases automatically’ (Clear, 2018, p. 6). My daughter is currently building her habits like brushes her teeth every day, going to bed at a set time (on most days) and so forth. She is at the stage where observing her environment is key to her developmental learning and is a prime time to implement habits that will empower her. These habits at the moment are eating healthy, this does not mean avoid all those ‘treats’, but to install balance. I gave up my gym membership when I was pregnant and returned to working out at home...
by Kelly Seaward-Ding | August, 2023 | Kelly Seaward - Ding, Motherhood
Navigating motherhood for the first time is unknown territory and unique as each one of us is different. But to me the most gracious gift from the divine. My husband and I are mediums and we met in a spiritualist church. Therefore, my blogs will have the essence of spirituality running through them. I have said in a previous blog, I had my daughter at 42, so she is a great blessing because I overcame fertility issues. In her presence, I daily journey with her in great wonderment as she learns, develops, and grows in this world of ours. I feel a calling to share my experience of motherhood for reasons I am still uncovering, but in this, I give the intention to hope it touches, inspires, or helps others because words are a powerful tool for transformation, connection, and compassion. While at home with my daughter on maternity leave, which I was very lucky to have the first year off with her. When she took her naps, I became accustomed to the YouTube app on my TV. One of my Character Strengths from working with Values in Action (VIA) on the MAPP is ‘love of learning’, which comes under the virtue of wisdom (Linley, 2008). This strength has been the driver of my chosen career as a teacher and the journey into mediumship in my thirties and I only connected the dots during the strengths-based development and engagement module on the MAPP. I knew I needed to keep this Character Strength nurtured otherwise it affects my energy levels and there is one thing a new mum needs and...
by Kelly Seaward - Ding | December, 2022 | Kelly Seaward - Ding, Motherhood, Positive Psychology
In part one, Transitioning into Motherhood, I explored my pregnancy journey. This blog – December 2022, marks the first anniversary of the death of my beloved cat Bella. She was part of our family for eleven wonderful years and this blog honours her memory. Bella entered our home in 2010. A cute kitten, full of energy and love. The decision to become a pet owner was due to my burnout experience months before. During my recovery, I knew I had to change my lifestyle. The classic I am a teacher and the system broke me. I wanted a reason, that when I returned home from work, I had something else to focus on rather than trying to use that time to complete a never-ending to do list, that I had no hope of ever fulfilling. Someone suggested having a cat. So, the journey of Bella and I began. How does Positive Psychology apply? If we take the PERMA model that underpins Positive Psychology, having pets really activates each component. Positive Emotions: The happiness, the laughter, the compassion and the love that exist between a pet and its owner is flourishing in its abundance. I am talking about owners who have unconditional love for their pets. The action of caring for your pet produces Oxytocin, the ‘love drug’ within the brain. All those cuddles produce a steady stream of Oxytocin, that helps combat stress and depression. Obviously, when they depart this world for the next, the loss is incredibly painful due to the fact you loved them so much. Positive Engagement: This component requires you to be present in...
by Kelly Seaward - Ding | November, 2021 | Kelly Seaward - Ding, Life
‘The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefitting from you having none’ I have seen the above quote a few times on Facebook. I usually write in line with empirical research regarding Positive Psychology, but within the spiritual practices I belong to, if you see something more than three times, you need to pay attention to it. This is the reason why I feel empowered to write about boundaries. Our modern culture has nearly everything on instant mode. This can sometimes make our lives easier. However, regarding our time it means that everything seems like a priority but you only have the same twenty-four hours a day to complete everything. So, this quote got me pondering that time is precious and how much our thoughts and emotions contribute to this notion of time. Seligman and Positive Emotions: According to Martin Seligman (2011), Positive Emotions is the first element in his Well-being Theory. It was also part of his original theory – Authentic Happiness. Positive Emotion is linked with the pleasant life. Positive Emotions are also connected to the research of Barbara Fredrickson. Fredrickson (2011), research suggests ten Positive Emotions: Love, Gratitude, Interest, Pride, Inspiration, Joy, Serenity, Hope, Amusement and Awe. Tugade and Fredrickson, (2004) state Positive Emotions can undo the harmful effects of negative emotions and promote resilience. They are also one of the key ingredients that promote flourishing. Coming back to the theme of boundaries. During the first lockdown when most things in life were restricted, I found I experienced a reflection process where I was reviewing all...
by Kelly Seaward - Ding | October, 2021 | Kelly Seaward - Ding
We travel in this world in our bodies, it is our temple and it needs the right nourishment to do all the wonderful things it is capable of doing. The mind-body connection is constantly bringing new depths of research to help us navigate our way to flourishing. I ponder on the word flourishing as we journey through COVID 19. Martin Seligman, the pioneer of Positive Psychology defines flourish as finding fulfilment in our lives, accomplishing meaningful and worthwhile tasks, and connecting with others at a deeper level—in essence, living the “good life” (Seligman, 2011). As a teacher embracing immense changes to working practices under the COVID guidelines, my profession, like many others found themselves with new challenges, learning to be adaptable, flexible and creative in how we managed this unpredictable time. I am an advocate for Positive Psychology, I found the pressure on workload commitments tested my application of Positive Psychology in my own life. Positive Psychology is the “scientific study of what goes right in life, from birth to death and all the stops in between: (White, 2016, p. 1). Positive Psychology is a lifestyle. You create wellbeing in your life through the activities you do. This makes it a unique practice as we are all different. Learn it, Live it, Teach it, Embed it I felt I was tested on how I apply Positive Psychology in my life. I completed the MAPP in 2018. Here is where I learnt the world of Positive Psychology. Now was the life test of how I applied it. Knowledge is good, but transformation takes place in the application stage. Taking...
