by Janette Kirk-Willis | February, 2021 | Janette Kirk-Willis, resilience
We are only too aware of the physical, social and economic effects of this current pandemic, but it is also widely acknowledged that the psychological effects on individuals will be possibly our biggest long term challenge. Mental health and the pandemic The burden of mental health disorders following disasters and previous viral outbreaks is well documented. A recent report for mentalhealth.org.uk [1] looked at the effect of the pandemic on our mental health; ‘Resilience enables us as individuals, communities, nations and as a country, to cope with the stress of the coronavirus pandemic. Whilst 64% of people say that they are coping well with the stress of the pandemic of those who have experienced stress almost nine out of ten 87% are using at least one coping strategy. People have used a wide range of strategies to cope; these most often included going for a walk, spending time in green spaces, and staying connected with others whilst some people are resorting to potentially harmful ways of coping, including increased alcohol consumption, substance misuse, and over-eating, putting their mental and physical health at greater risk’ The Health Foundation’s findings [2] show that when you take into account the effects of social isolation, job and financial losses, housing insecurity and reduced access to Mental Health services you can begin to imagine the sheer numbers of people that are potentially affected. What can we do to stay psychologically well? Well, one of the best things that we can do is to manage our emotions. Managing our emotions during this pandemic will increase our resilience. The RQi Resilience Model developed by...
by Janette Kirk-Willis | December, 2020 | Janette Kirk-Willis, Life
Acceptance and its questionable reputation At first glance acceptance doesn’t have a great reputation does it? What often springs to mind is defeat. It feels somehow passive, perhaps resigned to settling for less that we had hoped for. It may feel unpalatable and against our every instinct. It feels like giving up. But it’s not. Acceptance takes a huge effort. It’s hard work to accept something as it is, especially when it’s not what we’d hoped for or have been working towards. Definitions of acceptance So what’s the definition of acceptance? “It is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it.” [1] Jon Kabat- Zinn describes acceptance as taking “A huge amount of fortitude and motivation to accept what is — especially when you don’t like it — and then work wisely and effectively as best you possibly can with the circumstances you find yourself in and with the resources at your disposal, both inner and outer, to mitigate, heal, redirect, and change what can be changed.” [2] So why is acceptance good for us? Acceptance helps us to move forward. Acceptance is power. Deepak Chopra in ‘The 7 laws of spiritual success’ says “we might want things to be different in the future but in the present moment we need to accept them as they are…” Whether it’s the global pandemic, questionable politics, a potential redundancy, a company reorganisation, relationship difficulties or financial worries, the outcome is the same. When we refuse to accept reality we create a suffering for...
by Janette Kirk-Willis | October, 2020 | Janette Kirk-Willis
Resilience is a set of skills and behaviours that can be learned and having resilience is probably more important now than ever before. Managing our boundaries plays a big part in our personal resilience and wellbeing. But what do we mean by ‘managing our boundaries?’, have a look at the list below and see if you recognise any of the following; Do you ever… · feel unable to say ‘no’ for fear of what others will think of you or through fear that you might be rejected from the team or group that you value? · Feel responsible for the happiness of others? · Feel that others are making the decisions in your life and feel disempowered as a result? · Share too much information too soon or alternatively not express your needs and wants at all? All of these feelings and actions may be an indication of unhealthy boundaries and they certainly won’t enable you to manage your resilience going forward. What are boundaries within relationships and why are they import Boundaries tell people where the line is…It’s the invisible line that we communicate as our limit. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, political, intellectual and time-based. We’ve all had instances where we’ve allowed our boundaries to be pushed. The extra work with an unreasonable deadline, the family responsibility that is suddenly exclusively ours, and the dismissal of our thoughts and ideas as irrelevant. It feels uncomfortable to have our boundaries breached. If you’re unsure whether your boundary has been breached notice how you’re feeling – If you feel anger or resentment or find yourself complaining, you probably need to...
by Janette Kirk-Willis | February, 2020 | Janette Kirk-Willis, Mental Health
‘Prevention is better than cure’ so the old adage goes…and it was never truer than with mental health. Fortunately, there are actions that we can take in order to keep ourselves psychologically well and resilient. It concerns me that the focus for some organisations is on providing Mental Health First Aiders (MHFA’s) rather than ‘Wellbeing Advocates’ Mental Health First Aid is about responding to someone exhibiting signs of distress or changed behaviours. It is, by its very nature, the equivalent of offering a sticking plaster when someone is on the edge. And how do we look after the MHFA’s? – Is their training thorough enough? – Who supports and supervises them? – Don’t they need an appropriate background to deal with mental health? – What happens if they get called outside of working hours? – What happens if their conversations turn into counselling, where does the professional liability lie then? And what responsibility does the organization have? – If your MHFA is put into a situation where they need to support someone who is struggling what can they realistically do? If an employee is really struggling they’re often going to need more than signposting. ‘Why would we wait until this critical point’? …why wait until someone is struggling when we know right now what actions and interventions can help individuals? Why wouldn’t we put in place a programme where the employee takes responsibility for their own mental health and wellbeing and can follow a programme proven to support them and keep them well. This is available right now. Small changes make a really big difference. The research shows us...
by Janette Kirk-Willis | December, 2019 | Janette Kirk-Willis, Work
Belonging – What is it? To feel a sense of belonging means to be accepted… It’s a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Feeling that you belong is vitally important to seeing value in life as well as coping with intensely painful emotions. Why would we be interested in ‘Belonging’ in the workplace? …. why is it important? Belonging and supportive relationships are critical in the workplace, not only to career development but to employee engagement, effective project work and the effectiveness of teams. Having someone to turn to in moments of stress and pressure are key to how we respond and react to those events. Being able to share concerns, as well as successes and getting advice and guidance on the best way forward. Matthew Critchlow [1] at the University of Westminster describes supportive relationships as having three components, Belonging, Sharing and Practical support. What does it feel like to ‘belong’ in the workplace? It might feel like there’s an appreciation of each other for our unique backgrounds, or that we can really simply just be ourselves at work without worrying about whether that’s acceptable or whether we’ll be judged. It might simply be being accepted without condition. The importance of Belonging applies to everyone, not just a selected few. Diversity is measured by numbers and percentages. Inclusion is measured by whether you feel included, whether your insights and perspectives matter….Is this enough? Fostering belonging at work is essential if we want to retain our talented employees. If people don’t feel like they belong, that their differences aren’t celebrated and they’re not supported, they won’t stay, and you risk...
by Janette Kirk-Willis | October, 2019 | Janette Kirk-Willis, Positive Psychology, Uncategorized
What does it mean to ‘flourish’? Is it possible to determine the state of flourishing and apply it to all of humanity? Well, yes and no. There are some core elements that need to be in place but of course the practical specifics will be different for everyone. Some of the core elements that are required in order for us to flourish are discussed below. · We are aware of our inner compass. · We are deeply aware of ourselves. · We are clear about our core purpose. · We are motivated and set ourselves goals · We have choice Our inner compass. We all have an inner compass. It’s amazingly accurate and reliable. It’s always there helping to guide you and keep you in alignment. Your Inner Compass is a very simple mechanism. It is an internal Yes/No mechanism that is your direct connection to your innate intelligence. When you are in alignment – when you are living in harmony with who you really are and what is best for you, you feel a sense of comfort, ease and flow in your life. In other words, you feel good. Your compass is pointing to your true North, and when you’re not in alignment with who you really are you will be off-kilter, and as a result, you feel a sense of discomfort or unease. In other words, you don’t feel so good. Our inner compass provides our innate directionality. It’s as simple as that. Being aware of our inner compass and listening to it is the key here, tuning in and staying true to it. Not being...