by Sarah Monk | April, 2020 | Emotions, Sarah Monk
Positive Psychology’s relationship to emotions One criticism of Positive Psychology (PP) has been that it focuses too much on positivity and neglects the reality of suffering as part of human experience. This results from a misperception of what PP is really about. The emergence of PP was indeed a reaction to a historical overemphasis in psychological research, theory and practice on psychopathology or what goes wrong with us. However, examining and promoting what goes right with us does not mean we aim to all go around grinning like Cheshire cats all the time. That would be unrealistic and we know this kind of expectation that can hamper rather than promote happiness. The term PP does lend itself to such an image but in this blog I argue that both positive and negative emotions are an essential part of PP and that true thriving is often found is often found in the dialectical balance where they meet. What good are negative emotions? We need negative emotions, without them we wouldn’t have evolved and we wouldn’t survive today. Negative emotions like fear, anger and disgust are a necessary call to action. They tell us something is wrong, they marshall our attention and narrow our focus to solve the problem. They are associated with the flight or fight response of the sympathetic nervous system which produces the physical changes the body needs to respond to a threat often before we’ve cognitively assessed the challenge. These responses were developed through natural selection because those who could respond better to the threat of physical harm lived longer and reproduced. In modern society we fortunately...
by Amy Poole | July, 2019 | Amy Poole, Emotions
Identification The classic “go to” piece of advice when you find yourself worried, anxious, grieving, broken hearted, or angry is near enough always the same: “distract yourself” or “try to take your mind off of things”. These phrases are much more easier said than done. We may find they go over our heads along with the other valuable pick me up points “things will get better”, “just try to stay positive” that our loved ones wrap us in when feeling low. We grow bored and frustrated at ourselves for feeling down, but do not have the energy or information about what to do to pick ourselves up. Which arguably, results in then feeling even worse. Welcome, the vicious cycle of negative thinking. We may be able to identify we need to change something, but when has anyone asked “when are you finding yourself in flow?” The founder of Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a highly respected researcher within the field of positive psychology. Interestingly, his research began following the devastation that followed World War II. Csikszentmihalyi became interested in the science of happiness and how to create more of it after witnessing so much pain and suffering. The way in which Csikszentmihalyi first came to investigate happiness I feel is particularly significant. When are we most likely to look for happiness? When we are down and when we are suffering. Yet, when we are happy, how often do we pause to reflect on the present moments that are making us feel joy, contentment and love? Not enough. Perhaps the moments in which we find ourselves blissfully happy we should actively pay more attention...
by Inge Beckers | May, 2019 | Emotions
Do you recognise that feeling when you are in the car listening to some music and then they play something that strikes a chord and it reminds you of someone or some situation and wham, you just start crying. Well, I do. Quite annoying when you are on your way to work and don’t want to mess up your make up. So, then I have to switch channels, really! I switch to a happy song and just sing along to get rid of my tears. For me, music is emotion. It really has the power to touch me in an emotional way. It can make me cry, but it can also give me energy when I feel tired, or it can bring me in a good mood when I feel a bit down. Fortunately for me, being moved to tears by music is not unusual. A research at the University of North Carolina showed that 89,8 percent of the people in their study reported that they experienced feelings like crying by hearing music. Music as a medicine Music can be so much more than just some melody. It can be balm for the soul, but also promote the mental and social development of people. We can benefit from listening to music and from making music. It mobilizes the brain and produces happy hormones. That is why many experts today don’t consider it just as a hobby, but also use it as a therapeutic tool in medicine. Research has linked music to a number of health benefits. It can affect the entire human body. In fact, it can boost immune...
by Lisa Jones | January, 2019 | Emotions, Lisa Jones
Some people love New Year with the promise of resolutions, a new beginning, renewed energy to do the thing that they meant to do last year. Others dread the long winter days, the dreary ‘down’ after the busy high of Christmas. This blog looks at the mixed (ambivalent) emotions that are often felt this time of year. Traditionally psychology has presented these types of emotion patterns as a bad thing (“we must try and focus on the positives, people!”), but more recent research is telling us that mixed emotions can actually be a good thing. What are ambivalent emotions? The research into emotions uses different terms to study the varied feelings we have: complex, granular, diverse, and creative to name but a few. These all refer to the broad range of emotions felt at a given time or across a timeframe. It is becoming generally understood that it’s a good thing to have lots of varied emotions as this creates a richer experience and stronger cognitive reasoning. Part of this richness is ambivalent feelings: the simultaneous experience of feeling positive and negative emotions at the same time. There are however numerous studies which suggest this is a bad state to be in, as people become indecisive and focus on negative feelings to try to reduce the ambivalence. For instance, some research states that being ambivalent makes people inflexible and disengaged from others. But is it all bad? Recently it has been found that if someone has empathy for another person, even when feeling ambivalent, the mixed emotions felt will strengthen the empathic behaviour. This makes sense when we look...
by Julie Ostrow | December, 2018 | Emotions, Julie Ostrow
I was raised to be strong and to not show emotions…especially the “negative” or “bad” emotions such as sadness or anger. I have developed a strong sense of myself and I have figured out what works for me and what doesn’t. What does become challenging for me at times is listening to and paying attention to that voice that tells me something isn’t right for me and setting boundaries. The inner battle It is an inner battle that I fight quite often. Knowing what is right for me can mean saying, “No” to someone else or to their opinion. Saying that I disagree with them or that I am not ready to talk about that issue at that very moment does not mean that I don’t want to talk about that issue—or them—ever again. Setting boundaries and not being upset if someone else does not like it can be extremely challenging. What is it about setting a boundary that makes me feel like I have alienated that person or a particular group of people? For me, it comes from my upbringing. I recall so clearly having a differing opinion is “wrong” and it disrupts the “norm.” And, we can’t have that! Healthy boundaries Making the move to set healthy boundaries and to take care of myself was neither admired nor respected. But, rather, the result would be alienation and rejection. I was labeled as someone who just wanted to cause problems. Setting boundaries leads to happiness. (Even if it feels a bit painful or challenging at first). If someone wants you to volunteer and you can’t or you don’t...
by Pinky Jangra | December, 2018 | Emotions, Pinky Jangra
Sadness, anger, frustration, fear, shame, envy, resentment, guilt, stress, boredom, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, confusion, grief, unworthiness, loneliness – there are many unpleasant emotions. And let’s be honest, they feel icky. We don’t like them. We don’t want to experience them. They can all just go away. I’m very good at making them ‘go away’ and I wanted to share some of my tips with you. Here’s six: 1. Fix the outside world It’s that thing/ person/ situation ‘over there’ that is the cause of our unpleasant emotion – so we must fix it. Control it. Change it. Make it the way you want it. Once we’ve done that, our pains will disappear. Bingo. 2. Blame the outside world You might not be able to fix the thing outside of you that’s causing you pain, but at least you can blame it. Blame the person, the government, the situation, the job, the product, the economy, the dog – anything that keeps attention off you is a win. Sorted. 3. Get a quick fix of pleasure We should utilise quick fixes of pleasure to make us feel better for a minute. My go-to’s are shopping and movies. Food and alcohol are also popular choices. The modern world puts all these things at our fingertips. Easy peasy! 4. Lie Two words will help you here: ‘I’m fine’. Use them as much as possible. Whether in conversations with yourself in your head, or with others outside of you. If you can repeat these words enough, you’ll start to believe them. Ignorance is bliss. 5. Keep busy This one is great – if you...