by Bryony Shaw | October, 2022 | Bryony Shaw, Emotions
Today I would like to explore positive emotions by using the analogy of the seasons. For those of you who have read my previous blogs, you will know my calling to help people to increase the amount of positive emotions they experience. This is because there are so many healthy consequences that result from increasing the amount of positive emotions such as joy, happiness, hope and inspiration. One healthy consequence is that increasing the frequency and intensity of positive emotions we experience, creates a protective, buffering effect for those difficult times that lie ahead of us. Summer This includes those times when we are relaxed or when we are immersed in a pleasurable experience such as swimming in the sea, having a bbq with friends or watching a beautiful sunset. These are the times when it is easy to cultivate and savour positive emotions. Autumn We can’t all stay on a high forever. Our moods level out and this can be compared to the transition to autumn. Gone are the long sunny days, however, the gentle wonder of the changing seasons is present, providing us with less intense positive emotions. Winter This is when then things go wrong in our life, or things are spiralling out of control, and we can be flooded with negative emotions such as fear, despair or worry. They can be over powering and bring us to a standstill. These are difficult days to get through. Spring Here, we are recovering from the hardship of the difficult times we have just experience in a winter of our life. Just like plants that burst from the...
by Pinky Jangra | February, 2021 | Emotions, Pinky Jangra
The ‘be positive’ movement has been running for a while now. On the surface, it feels like a great thing – why wouldn’t you be positive? It makes sense that being positive is better for you mentally, emotionally and physically. The problem is that a lot of people employ what I call ‘false positivity’. False positivity can actually get people into more of a pickle or at least, keep them stuck where they are instead of helping them move forward during times of difficulty. True optimism is much more complex and powerful than false positivity. What is false positivity? False positivity is a sticky plaster we put on things when they’re broken. It is a cover we put on our painful feelings. It’s the glitter we sprinkle on our negative thoughts. Key signs of false positivity are avoidance, dishonesty and naivety. We tend to use false positivity to avoid a painful truth or to pretend that we’re fine when we’re not. We also use it often unconsciously, to mentally and emotionally detach from what might be a very serious situation that needs properly addressing. When we use false positivity we don’t really believe the positive words we say to ourselves e.g. “it’ll be fine” or “it’ll all work out in the end”. I’m not saying it won’t be fine or, that it won’t work out in the end but, I am suggesting that most people are just paying lip service when they say things like this. They don’t really believe it. In fact, what they deeply believe is probably the opposite. If your life is crumbling and all you’re...
by Steve Emery | February, 2021 | Emotions, Steve Emery
There is a tale of unknown origin. An old man says to his grandson:” There’s a fight going on inside me. It’s a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil-angry, greedy, jealous, arrogant, and cowardly. The other is good-peaceful, loving, modest, generous, honest, and trustworthy. The boy asks, “Which wolf will win?” The old man replies, “The one you feed.” Meeting the angry wolf Imagine walking down the street and being confronted by an angry wolf. He stands in front of you, feet planted firmly on the ground, the hair on the back of his neck standing up, he’s showing his teeth and growling at you. What would you do? You would no doubt go in to fight or flight mode, you may decide to fight the wolf, but it’s more likely you will back off, cross to the other side of the street, run as fast and as far away from the wolf as you can. How do you feel? Your heart will probably be racing, you will be sweating, and full of adrenaline. Maybe you will feel afraid, and angry because this wolf is allowed to prowl the streets. Where is the protection from this wolf, where are the police who are meant to patrol these streets? This fear and anger may be with you for the rest of the day, and even into night-time. You may go to bed and not be able to sleep, continually thinking about your confrontation with the wolf, and thinking about all the different scenarios that could have happened. What if he had attacked you, and hurt you physically as well as...
by Sarah Monk | January, 2021 | Emotions, Sarah Monk
When did you last feel elevated? Elevation is the emotion elicited when you see someone do something morally beautiful, such as helping someone in need. Try and think about the last time you experienced this. Perhaps it was seeing a video about a hard-working caregiver going above and beyond the call of duty during the Covid-19 crisis, or the work of rescuers during a natural disaster or on a smaller level someone going out of their way to help an elderly neighbour clear snow from their path? How did you feel? What impact did it have on you? I hope to review what science tells us about this emotion and why it could be important to cultivate it. A new emotion Elevation or moral elevation, as it is sometimes known, was first described in the scientific literature as a distinct emotion as recently as 2000 by Jonathan Haidt. However, I’m sure we all recognise it has been around for much longer than that. Haidt (2000) characterised elevation as the emotion felt on witnessing the good and admirable deeds of others. This is experienced as a warmth in the chest accompanied by feeling uplifted and inspired, a sense of optimism about humanity and a motivation to behave more altruistically. He argues that this is different from awe as it does not involve a sense of vastness and power and separate from inspiration in that it is always associated with a moral outcome rather than just excellence of achievement. Haidt (2000) suggests that elevation is the opposite of disgust, but like disgust has important functions in regulating our thoughts, feelings and...
by Neil Wilkie | December, 2020 | Emotions, Neil Wilkie, Relationships
Lockdown is a time where the disrupted world will unleash a whole range of emotions. These are likely to be heightened by the continuing uncertainty and lack of control. Lockdown 2.0 is worse in many ways than the first because the novelty has worn off, the days are darker and colder and the uncertainty over money and employment is increasing. Here are twelve key emotions, the impact they can have on your relationship and how to deal with them. The first 8 are negative emotions as these will be more likely. I have also listed 4 positive emotions that can be a wonderful antidote: 1. Scared This is one of the fundamental emotions that is really strong and visceral. We may be scared that: we or our loved ones will get ill and even die we may lose our jobs and not find another one we will run out of money and may even become homeless our basic physiological and safety needs are under threat life in the future will be very different This is likely to trigger the primeval fight, flight or freeze response. Our body will become flooded with adrenaline to get us ready to cope with the threat. Longer-term this can create significant physical and mental side effects. How will this impact on our relationship? You may go within ourselves, freeze in our internal comfort zone and be unwilling to be vulnerable, to share feelings or be intimate. This could make your partner feel excluded and rejected and create a downward spiral. How to manage this? Share your feelings and get support from your partner....
by Pinky Jangra | December, 2020 | Emotions, Pinky Jangra
Emotional baggage is heavy. It weighs us down mentally, energetically and physically. You’ll notice for example that people who have a lot of stress tend to get backaches, headaches and tension in their shoulders. People with anger and anxiety tend to get stomach issues. Bodily pains will often show you how much emotional weight you are carrying. This emotional weight is something we’ve been carrying all our lives. We’ve been packing a rucksack full of emotional rocks and carrying it on our backs for 20, 40, 60+ years. In 2020 with all the challenges we’ve faced and are still facing, we’ve taken on even more emotional weight, we’ve put even more rocks in our rucksack. Right now, it’s REALLY heavy. And that is taking its toll. It’s time to lose that weight. Feel it to heal it Have you ever noticed how light you feel after a good cry? That’s because you took an emotional rock out of your rucksack. Have you noticed how relieved you feel when you have that honest conversation with someone and express your truth? That’s because you took an emotional rock out of your rucksack. Expressing pent up emotions is healthy, natural, powerful and I’m going to teach you a way that you can do it entirely alone. Emptying your emotional rucksack is all about you and what you’re holding on to. You don’t need the object of your anger/ pain/ sadness etc. to be there with you. You don’t need anything in the outside world to ‘change’ or ‘receive’ or ‘respond to’ your emotions. You have the power to transmute it all...
