A Guiding Hand episode In taking this photograph of the Northern Lights I had to scramble in the dark across rocks to get a good shot. Though at first the rocks were an unwanted and challenging obstacle, in the resulting photograph they take their place and are an essential aspect of the whole composition. So, in taking this image, I was left wondering what value might there be in accepting and including the obstacles that we face in our daily working lives? Consider if you will, the challenges that you currently face or have previously faced: Describe what is or was problematic. And what was your experience when you had faced these challenges? What did you discover? And learn? Take what time you need to fully respond to these questions….. I commonly encounter folk in my work as a coach who experience begin stuck and somehow locked and unable to move forward by a particular problem. Automatically in these situations, we think that to move forward, we must push through or try harder. However, is this the answer or indeed what creates the problem? Consider for yourself. Albert Einstein wisely reminds, that we cannot solve a problem by the same level or by the same logic, that created it. So where do we find our answers if we are not able to rationally push through? When we think about challenges, we commonly take an objective viewpoint and as result view the problem we are facing from the outside looking in. But what if standing outside and looking in is more the problem than answer? Might the solution we seek...
A Guiding Hand episode Often when we speak about our developmental journey, we refer to the term growth. But, how in fact do we grow? Consider your own growth over time: What is or are your measures and yardsticks? Though it may not be immediately apparent, one of our key measures for growth is the extent of our self-awareness. This is the degree to which we have ‘come to know’ ourselves. Self is not an absolute but more an emergent principle and experience. We have established in previous conversations that often and especially when we feel under pressure, our attention span is greatly reduced. As a result, our self-awareness becomes limited, and our attention is confined, as we are aware of only a small fraction of who we really are. We then operate superficially. Life’s journey is one through which we continually emerge and grow. Commonly our attention is directed outward in seeking and searching for more. Consider where you have placed and or directed your attention today? Activities like searching for a new home, car, or holiday, filing or filling in forms for example may largely involve – a turning of our attention outward. In marked contrast, the journey of ‘coming to know’ ourselves, invites the opposite, that is that we learn how to turn our attention inwards, and can inwardly reflect. I name this learned ability – involution. Because it necessitates not only a learning of how to turn attention inward but also how this learned capacity may be essential to our growth and evolution. Involution therefore involves our ability to refocus and to turn our attention...
A Guiding Hand episode In the moment I took this photograph, the Northern Lights appeared to adopt an unusual shape in the sky, not unlike that of a jigsaw piece. This left me contemplating what if life were a jigsaw? What would be the ‘picture on the box’ and if and how do we piece ourselves together? Take a little time to consider if your developmental journey has taken the form of a jigsaw: What do you recognise as your vital pieces? How does your jigsaw fit together? And what piece may complete your jigsaw? These are large questions, so take what time you need to offer your response… When I look back over my life journey, one of my biggest learnings is deeply paradoxical. My true potential and power were hidden in the one place that I would have never dreamed to look – together with my vulnerability. Let’s explore this possible realisation a little more… Firstly, let me ask, what is your understanding of the word vulnerability? Do you have vulnerabilities? If so, what are they? It is common to think of our vulnerabilities as those aspects of ourselves that are limited and imperfect and that we may automatically judge to be unwanted. You may recall from an earlier conversation, how the self to which we commonly revert when under pressure, is a perfectionist. In that, in seeking to keep us safe, this partial self continually strives to be right, the top of the class and the very best. To feel safe and in control this aspect thinks it must be right and must have all the...
A Guiding Hand episode Let’s start with a question: If, and how well, do you know the perfectionist in you? For many years I have worked as a coach enabling others to deepen knowledge of themselves and to make vital developmental choices fostering growth whilst developing a growing sense of fulfilment. What I have noticed in both myself and others I’ve worked with, is that when we are under pressure, feeling anxious, fearful, and frustrated, we commonly revert to a partial self. We have explored this aspect of ourselves in earlier conversations. But here, let’s acknowledge how the self to which we revert commonly demonstrates perfectionist tendencies. In such earlier conversations how this smaller version of ourselves tends to be judging, competitive, forever needing to prove its rightness and how this version of ourselves operates generally by directing and telling. Ultimately in seeking to keep us safe and protected from what may be perceived to be a chaotic, unsafe and challenging world, this version of ourselves strives continually to be right and so perfect. Let’s explore a few potentially revealing questions: What drives our perfectionism, that need for a part of us to be the best, the top and perfect? Take whatever time you need to respond from your own experience…. Such a question will often take us deeper in search of our answers. For what stirs our outward behaviours are our inner beliefs. And if you explore what the common belief is of the self to which we revert, you will likely discover that this version of ourselves experiences being ‘not enough’ – for example that we are...
A Guiding Hand episode How much of our lives do we live on the surface? Presenting only a fraction of who we really are to the world outside and those we meet? When we become busy and feel the pressures of the world, we commonly experience the emotions of anxiety, fear, and frustration and our attention span becomes constricted and more confined. So, we then live only on the surface, aware of a small fraction of who we really are forge superficial relationships. However, this automatic tendency to operate superficially when under pressure is not the end of our story – merely its beginning. For though we may become superficial, there is ever a reminder of our wholeness – that is if we care to remember. Let’s pause for a moment and if you are willing let me invite you to consider several questions: What do you long for in your life at the moment? For what do you most wish? What would fulfill you? These are ‘big questions’ – so take whatever time you may need to explore. Longing is a vital memory of wholeness. For when we align with our longing we remember and recall an innate source of power that will ever inspire and inform your development and growth towards wholeness and a growing sense of fulfillment. This memory reminds you that despite our temptation to live life superficially, there is something within to which we can continually orientate and align that will guide you towards that for which you most wish and long. And so this returning to source may shape you and help you...
A Guiding Hand episode When I took this photograph the Northern Lights were strong and powerful and were being brought to earth, or earthed as if there was some huge lightening conductor. I recall musing about power as I took this image and then the phrase of words came that I am now aspiring to translate. I noted how the lights were reflected in the water and upon reflection I found myself contemplating: what is the true nature of power? And what power moves, inspires and develops people? Being in control is something we think is vital in our life and work. What does it mean to you to be in control? Reflect on this question for yourself… Often being in control means having ‘power over’ things and situations. And that you can take charge and direct. We often associate being in control with certainty. Knowing that we are right and have the answer, gives us a sense of certainty and safety within what may commonly perceive to be a challenging and ever-changing world. But does such control give us power? Let’s consider… Once again when we are in control, we tend to direct and tell others what to do – based on our rightness – we are certain of way forward. But does directing and telling empower? How do you experience being directed and told what to do? Is this experience empowering? If not, why not? There are times especially when we face a crisis, where directing and telling is necessary to bring about immediate action, however in our everyday life and work – being told or directed...
