Here’s a topic that I’ve thought about recently: resilience, fortitude, pushing through even when we feel like we’ve been pushed down or criticised. How do we push through tough times, win the battle with negative messages from our past, and how do we create positive lives for ourselves? This topic has come up recently in different conversations with people. I am intrigued by other people’s experiences and seeing the similarities and differences in our experiences.

Sometimes we have no choice but to keep going. Quitting is not an option, especially if you are an entrepreneur and sole business owner and are the only one keeping the business afloat. You can’t be bogged down by negativity or roadblocks. You make a path…even if there doesn’t seem to be a path. But how?

Support throughout life

I recently asked a question on my Facebook page about what support (if any) they have gotten throughout their lives. I wondered about how people were raised and what support they may have gotten (or sought) within their families and inner circles. I thought, “What makes one person give up when while another person would keep going, forge on through, and go beyond the challenges?”

After reading the responses, I realised that we all have had troubles and that we can choose happiness. What I also noticed was that, no matter what type of support they received or didn’t receive in their families of origin, they have sought out groups, tribes, and family of their choice to support, love, and encourage them.

People who replied are in various professions, some entrepreneurs, some managers in large corporations, and some people who are struggling to figure out what they want to do. Although there were a variety of answers, I noticed a theme: They all mentioned how they currently choose to live their lives and how they find strength and happiness.

Cheerleaders and shredders

This is what I asked on my Facebook page:
Who are the people in your life–such as family and friends–who have influenced you?

~~Did you have cheerleaders in your corner to support and love you no matter what?

~~OR, did you have the shredders? (The ones who would criticise you no matter what or try to suck the joy out of your happy moments. Especially when you wanted to share your successes with them.)

**My mother was both, which is the worst thing for a child. She died when I was thirteen…my aunt was a shredder and my cousin is a cheerleader. Most of my influences have been shredders…but I married a cheerleader!**

I imagine many people can end up being both…it’s a whole shredder/cheerleader continuum out there!

**My parents, daughters, and sisters (in general) are cheerleaders. I have a shredder-type person in my world, but I mostly hear the shredding through a lens of “he’s challenging me/us to achieve everything we can.” It hasn’t always been easy to hear it that way.

Having a business partner who makes balance, levity, and joy much more accessible. I’m also incredibly fortunate to have a tribe of amazing women around me who are hilarious and rock solid.**

**We all need to find our peeps!**

And, so, it comes back to choosing what is best of ourselves—no matter what challenges or blocks we may have had in our past. As one person responded, “At this stage of my life, I only surround myself with supporters, no life suckers”

About the author: To find out more about Julie Ostrow, please click here.

 

‘We Are The Positive Psychology People’

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