How do you boldly say something truthful without also insulting another person? It’s so easy for people to just lie about anything they want these days. So easy for them to lie about another person. It’s nearly impossible for the recipient to defend themselves. Why should they have to?
We know from our research that “the good life” includes interpersonal life satisfaction. We know that the “pleasant life” includes feeling accomplished. When one chooses a life of denial of the truth, or manipulating a half truth, can they also be happy & mentally healthy?
We live in a society where people will sacrifice the truth in order to ‘save face’ or chase their own sense of importance.
Truth or Dare?
The truth is, the golden apple wins over the ugly fruit every time. But, should it? “Influencers” are all the rage. How many influential people do we need before we’re no longer satisfied with following?
The other day, someone asked me what the worst difficult professional experience was and how did I handle it. I told them the truth. I weighed my options, looked at the reality of the situation and left without a lot of drama, or pomp and circumstance. I left quietly rather than to allow the over inflated ego of someone with more power than me, to ruin my otherwise, strong sense of peace.
As much as I would not want to hear if I had cancer, or a poor heart, or that I didn’t get ‘the job’, I’d still 100% of the time rather hear the truth.
Internal Control
Except, we never actually need the truth from someone else. We know the truth. We hope for the best with the compliments, but what if, we ask someone how we look, and they tell us, ‘not good’? Would that hurt us beyond repair? Ruin the relationship? End the career entirely?
When offered the ugly truth, or a beautiful lie, which would you prefer? The situation and variables are too vast to give a definitive answer. I know my reality consciously. It’s not up to me to know yours. That’s your job.
What a beautiful world it would be if everyone were honest. Trust is a cornerstone of all else. Love is not love without it. Civility can’t exist in a synthetic world of perfection.
Confidence is a truth teller
To be truthful, one must also truly like themselves, be sure of themselves, and from time to time, eat the ugly fruit, show the emotional side, have a bad hair day while, still loving yourself and give the real answers, without fear that the world won’t like what you said.
I for one, want only honest people in my life. Even if I don’t like the answer, I love the fact that someone respected me enough to be honest with me. To me, that means they are confident enough to shine on and think well of themselves. They are the real influencers. The truth tellers.
About the Author: Karen Henry (Karen Daly) , MA CRM owns Henry Healing as a holistic well-being practitioner and writer. She’s a former university professor and current scholar practicing the infusion of positive, existential and community psychology.