“Dear Santa, How are you? I hope the reindeer are being nice to Rudolph. For Christmas what I really want is superpowers. Oh, and an iPod.”
I have spent the last 20 minutes scalding my arm over a kettle, steaming open my daughter’s carefully sealed letter. The paper falls soggy in my hands as I blow on my burning fingers, dumbfounded. It has been a couple years now that I know she knows the truth. It’s hard to sustain the benevolent deception of childhood fantasy characters in this day and age of internet searches and YouTube videos. And so I was surprised when she handed me this secretive letter addressed to the North Pole. She had even drawn an elaborate seal on the edge to ensure no one but Santa himself would open it.
Caught in the Whirling Wonder
I don’t get it. Is it the effect of too much screen time? Is she this out of touch with reality? Does she actually think superheroes are real? Somewhere in me, I’m envious. How is it that she can believe in such crazy dreams? Because she chooses to. I have watched her these last few days, spending hours hanging over the back of the couch staring into the dancing lights of the tree. The reflection of multicolored ornaments flicker in her eyes and speak to the wonder, literally- the wonder. I wonder what’s coming. I wonder what amazing things are in store for me.
Believing in Possibilities
She lives in a world of “Imagine ifs” and “What if I could justs”. A world where wishes are granted, magic happens and anything is possible. She chooses a life where you never know what might happen if you only dare to ask for what you really want. And she doesn’t give a second thought to what others might think. There is no censoring her inner voice because others might find its message ridiculous. She does not allow others’ definitions of what is appropriate define who she will be. There are no worries about living up to expectations, no guilt about disappointing people, and no deliberation about what she should be doing. Just about what she really wants. And so she sends her intentions out into the universe, faster than the speed of light, to see what might happen. She doesn’t see that she already is a superhero.
Let Magic in
Could I borrow her cape of courage to travel back in time to a place when my own visions of who I wanted to be were at once outlandishly daring and true to my heart? A time before “what I really want” got so obscured by what I tell myself I want so that others will want me?
‘Tis the season of holiday magic after all. And so I carefully reseal the letter with a dried-out glue stick I find at the bottom of her pencil case. I’ll take her to the post office in the morning. But for now, I exchange the glue for a red pencil crayon, pour myself another eggnog and begin to write,
“Dear Santa, what I really want is…”
About the author: Maia Aziz P.S.W., C.L.Y.L. writes and speaks on living a life of love and laughter. President-Elect of the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH), Maia hosts a weekly talk radio show Morning Moments With Maia…Conversations of Love and Laughter, Sundays at 9am EST on blogtalkradio where she speaks with an eclectic lineup of guests who live their lives with positive intention. www.withloveandlaughter.ca