Positive Learning: The Right Questions, The Right Tools

Positive Learning: The Right Questions, The Right Tools

Ellen Langer proposed the idea that we, in our daily comfortable routines, can slip into mindlessness— cruising on auto-pilot1. Not that we don’t have minds, but that we don’t pay attention and we are not mindful of the 3D picture called life. As an educator of adult students, my stance is not much different than those who teach at elementary or secondary levels. My role is to guide and to be a leader to those who have not yet explored the wonders of the journey ahead; they trust me to do that.  That does not mean just connecting them to information, but to tend to how I provide engagement, motivation, and good tools so that they might bring to life the experience for themselves2. When a student fails to fully engage and reap the learning benefit, it is a shallow educator that blames the student exclusively. Sure, students have responsibilities, but comments such as these have no place in an education system that should take into consideration children are still learning and educators have an impact on self-efficacy, esteem, and self-worth: “They are too stupid to be in this class… they didn’t pay attention… they should have done something better, or… they didn’t study.” I hear those comments all too often as a parent, and yes, those are direct quotes echoed by children in elementary school; a parent can learn a lot during carpool. Positive learning There are hidden rules in schools, and in the relationships between educators and students. Teachers are feared because they always have the last word, students cannot speak out honestly in fear of being...
GOOD Enough

GOOD Enough

Sometimes good enough is good “Uh…Good enough,” he tosses the words behind him and scuffs up the stairs to his room. My neighbour sighs at her son’s pubescent disengagement. I on the other hand, am caught off guard by his remark and gracefully slosh my scalding coffee down my chest. I grab a paper towel and start rubbing the stain even deeper into the fibres of my new shirt, all the while wondering both why I continue to defy fashion mag warnings of the perils of wearing white after Labor Day,  and how such a young kid could be so smart. The question that sparked this scene was banal enough. My neighbour’s 13 year old son had started high school four weeks earlier and while over for a casual cup of coffee I had simply asked him, “So, how’s school?” Good enough. Bored sarcasm? Or had he learned more in his last 4 weeks of secondary education than I had in 45 years of the school of life? –Good enough. Finding a friend in good enough It rarely feels that way. Not when we’re standing in the grocery line obsessively flipping our Facebook feed wondering why no one “likes” the brilliantly witty post we wrote a total of three a half minutes ago. Nor when our exhausted eyes well up as we gaze at the lopsided, oddly salty pumpkin cake that looks nothing like the scrumptious Tasty video we so wanted to impress our friends with. And certainly not when at brunch we listen to our girlfriend’s stories of strewn rose petals, lobster dinners and rings hidden in cannoli...
How Laughter can Help you Keep Relationships Positive

How Laughter can Help you Keep Relationships Positive

All of us go through tough times in life and it’s so important to make sure we get the most out of our relationships whether it’s with our partner, kids, friends or colleagues.  I, like many of you, have had my fair share of knocks in life and would love to share a few where laughter really made the difference and kept me positive. Laughter Yoga gave me a new sense of empowerment and confidence and I actually made a change in my life and decided to be happy no matter what.  This starting to show immediately and people started responding differently to me. Breaking up is hard to do: The first and possibly most important change that I owe to Laughter Yoga is with my relationship with my ex husband, the father of my 2 children. Visiting my kids every 3 months in Iran was so stressful and drained me so much.  Having had a toxic relationship and difficult breakup, it was hard for us to spend too much time together without getting into a fight, we had both built up anger because of the way things had turned out. This all changed when I learned how to change the way I looked at life and how I responded to what it was dishing me. I had called to book my trip to see my kids and had mentioned to my ex that I had started a new career in Laughter Yoga and was totally surprised by his reaction when he saw me at the airport.  Now imagine an arrogant, angry man who was bitter that I had...
The Positive Side of Silent  Running

The Positive Side of Silent Running

While I do not profess to be an expert on Navy submarines, in my military travels I do recall several Navy friends talking about the silent running of the submarines. This is a term used when a submarine goes into a silent mode of operations. In the mode of silent running, the purpose is to evade attacks from the enemy and requires those aboard to stand down; let there be a stillness. Speed, movement, and noise from the propellers are drastically reduced, and for good reason. The intention is to allow for safety along a stretch of a journey that poses potential harm. Silent running can be summed up as a tactic to maximize safe passage and minimize destruction. Communication and relationships are in themselves a journey that can be, at times, overwhelming and impact wellness. Just as the commanding officer of the submarine must analyze the impact of an encounter, we too can be the commanders of our journey. Prepare for impact: size and strength of negativity I recall, in an episode of the Lucille Ball show, poor old Lucille Ball on the candy conveyor belt line, unable to keep up with sorting and placing of candies neatly in the packages, thus leaving her to shove abundant amounts of candy into her mouth. Information is much the same, the amount and type have an influence on us; how much negativity can we take in before it becomes unhealthy? This concept is not new or novel to this generation. We can find research regarding the retaining capacity of the brain in late 1950 and probably even further back than...
The Power of Gratitude

The Power of Gratitude

Reflections of gratitude I recently spent a month in The Philippines which brought the depth of gratitude I have for the country that I was born and raised in, to a whole new level.  I have actively been practising gratitude in the form of a daily gratitude journal – writing down the three best things of the day and acknowledging why they are so good and why I’m so grateful for these things occurring – for almost two years now.  This has been a large contributing factor in the ongoing process to re-train the neural pathways in my own brain which enabled me to successfully overcome many years of depression and mental health challenges several years ago. This activity in itself encompasses great power, however combined with real life altering and first hand experiences, this activity then becomes dramatically enhanced.  It is one thing to be vaguely aware of the poverty in this world and quite another to experience it firsthand.  There were several significant activities that occurred for me during this time that have raised my conscious awareness and consequently my expression of gratitude to new heights.  Number one being that for the very first time in my life, for 10 days whilst attending a Vipassana (silent) meditation program in the middle of nowhere, several hours outside of Manila, I did not have access to hot water.  On top of this for many hours every day there was no access to running water – hot or cold – at all.  For me, coming from Australia, where even during a major drought season several years ago, lack of water...